new list time! let's get offensive!
by Michele Christopher
Hey, it's time! Time to start a new list! The 100 Best Punk songs list was so much fun to do that we're ready to start up another round of list making.
We already mentioned this before, but now it's official. We're ready to start making the list of Most Offensive Punk Songs.
Let's just get this out of the way, what offensive means. We don't mean offensive to us, or to you, because if you were easily offended, you wouldn't be listening to the stuff we write about. And we don't mean offensive to someone like Tipper Gore, because, well, everything offends her. You could write a song about bicycles and she would find a way to misconstrue it to be about violent sexual predators smoking drugs and commiting suicide while chanting curse words at Satan. Oh yea, gives you new insight into Queen's Bicycle Race, huh?
So for the sake of argument (and for the sake of this list) let's say that offensive means this: If you played this song loud enough for your neighbors to hear, they would either a) report you to the "authorities"; b) hide their children from you; c) pay Rev. Falwell $100 to pray for your soul; d) wrap their house in duct tape and tin foil to protect themselves from you or e) all of the above. Or, in more simple terms, if you sang this song in front of your grandmother she would make you wash your mouth out with soap. And you probably find the song amusing, at the very least. We're talking way offensive here. You might be thinking Blink 182's Family Reunion,, but that's just a bunch of bad words strung together. We're thinking more along the lines of Meatmen's Crippled Children Suck. Or that Guttermouth song about your mom fucking a donkey.
Offsensive. Unpolitically correct. Mean. Filthy. Dirty. Deranged. Shocking. Apalling. Disgusting. Offensive.
Yea, I know some of you already gave your suggestions in another post, but let's start this up fresh. Turtle and I will be following the same method we did for the 100 songs, posting our own favorites along with a little blurb about them. I don't know how many we are going for yet. Not 100, though. That's just too much. Whim, guys. Keyword for this site is whim. And now, offensive. Mamma always warned you about people like us.
You know what we want. Give it to us.*
*no, neither of us want anal sex with midgets, thank you. well, i can only speak for myself. i'll let turtle make up his own mind on that one.
Update: We've started an annotated list over here.
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