It's been four years and a thousand tears, but it's back. Back to kick you in the ass and frustrate the living fuck out of you. This is where it all comes down. World Cup time, baby. It starts in a week. This is when teams try to make up for losses in goals while the fans try to make up for losses in wars. This is nationality on the line. This is war.

This is World Cup.

Wanna play?

Here we go!!

For those of you who don't know, this is when average punk rock/muscle car writers go a little crazy. This is when you get to look confused at our site and wonder what the fuck we are talking about when we say "GGGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL"

Hey guys, this only happens once every four years. This is the time where the UK tells Americans to fuck off, the French tell the UK to fuck off, America tells Mexico to fuck off and Brazil just sits and laughs. This is World Cup, baby. And we are gonna be writing about it. Hold on guys, cause things could get bumpy..

The muscle car and album reviews will still continue as well as the Underground and the Top 100 punk songs.

But we thought we might just warn you.

It's World Cup time. -M/T

What the hell do I know about soccer? Oh, I'm sorry. FOOTBALL. Honestly, I don't know much except that every four years I pretend to have this great interest in FOOTBALL and I go all World Cup crazy. That is, until America gets its collective ass handed to it and I go back to watching baseball like a good American.

I do know enough about football to carry on a decent conversation. Or get one started. Whenever someone mentions the sport, I just say, in no particular order: Pele! Hooligans! Maradona! And depending on who you are talking to, that last one might get you a smack in the head, especially if you follow it up with the phrase "Hand of God!" Which I often do because, hey, if you're gonna get yourself all excited about a sports tournament which your team really has no chance of winning, you might as well get some good, sporting fun out of it by pissing some people off.

See, I think the World Cup is nothing more than a good excuse for nation hating. It's no longer politically correct to just bag on other countries for no good reason. So we use football as an excuse to say things like "Mexico couldn't play their way out of a fucking pinata!" or "England sucks!" Ok, maybe we say that one anyhow. No offense, Brits. It's just the way it is. Kinda like a Mods/Rockers thing, you know? Friendly rivalry. Yea, friendly.

I mean, look at all the countries we get to make up chants about. Trinidad and Tobego! Ghana! Iran! Oh, fuck yea. We're gonna go Ayatollah on your ass, Iran! See? See how easy that is? Think of it as misplaced national pride. Where else are you gonna shout USA! USA! USA! these days without someone thinking Karl Rove gave you eight bucks and a candy bar to say that? See, World Cup is for everyone. It works out great for people who measure their patriotism by bumper stickers because they can drape themselves in a flag and just call it football frenzy. And it also works out for people who have been kinda down on the state of the union since, oh, November 2004, because they can wave a flag and shout America, fuck yea! without feeling like they are betraying their ideals. It's all about the soccer ball. Uh, sorry. The football.

So I'm looking forward to World Cup 2006. I think I still have a Pele shirt from that Giants Stadium gig in 1977. I'm brushing up on my 'let's mock the cockney accent' phrases. I've been practicing saying the word 'hooligan' several times a day (hey, it's a fun word). I have sharpened my "hand of god" conversation starter so that I can ignite a heated argument in under five seconds. I've got a bunch of UK punk songs about football loaded up and ready to go.

See, it doesn't take much to feel part of the action. Say it with me. Pele! Hooligans! Maradona! ENGLAND SUCKS!

Bring it on. -M

World Cup time. Smell the dust and just keep walking.You don't know what is gonna happen but the screams tell you that whatever it is, is gonna be big. Something like you have never seen. Just keep walking. Dust will fly as you move towards the staduim. Let it get deep in your nose before you walk in. Savor the moment. Ignore those assholes over there. Their team hasn't even hit the pitch yet, god dammit. It was too early to start chanting about how the other country could kiss your ass. Screams of why I suck so bad can wait till after this thing starts. Got my sunscreen and got my food. Fuck anyone else cause we are gonna take this fucking game today. I got my hotdog in hand and I can take the abuse. Hey, I can take abuse from anyone like no fucking other man, but a whole country yelling at me? That's a little much.

Jesus

That's asking alot from me.

Savor this moment. Cause this isn't a game. This is fucking war. This is where all the divisions hit the line. Where you bring the players back from other teams from around the world. Huddle them together and ask them where their loyaties are. Are they with you or not. Cause that bus is still god damn running and there is always time to get back on. This is a tournament where friends, loyaties and trust all get put to the test.

Fuck the Superbowl. Thats one damn game out of the year with two teams. This is the world fighting. And only the best are here.

Welcome to different time zones. Get used to it fast cause you are gonna be sweating blood for 90 minutes and no one cares if you get hurt. You get back up and you play, dammit. You keep this fucking train going till it fucking blows up.

You stopped playing for a team when your foot hit that god damn pitch. You weren't on a team anymore. This was a country you were playing for. And if that truck comes on to pull you off that grass cause you can't stand, you better be god damn dead.

This is where you know everyone hates each other for being from a different country , but won't say anything but "you suck."

What?

Why?

"You just do."

Oh yeah. World Cup is war. Don't fucking let yourself believe anything else. This is fucking war.

By the time this thing is over, countries will have cried at the collective loss of their team. Cause when their team loses, it's kinda like they lost. As a country. The feeling of it's gone. Fuck. We can't be in fucking Euro. Fuck. Four more years till will are back. A country sighs when they lose. National pride is on the line and that brings out the worst in people. Hell, even in me. I never thought i'd ever be screaming "Fuck Mexico!" but I sure as shit did at an after hours bar last time round.

Late night in a smoke filled bar. Shit loads of people staring at a TV at 3 in the morning. Cheap English bar screaming in part to keep awake, and in part to cheer their team on. The doors were locked. You had to walk in the back. And for three fucking hours we drank and cursed at each other. Us with flags on and them with sombreros. Hating each other before the ball hit the pitch, then having a good time while it was going.

It's kinda funny. We are all talk til the ball is kicked. Then it's all friendly like. Everyone is just trying to get through this. Just watching and waiting and wondering what's gonna happen next.

We didn't fucking start this and if it had to happen, at least we would smile. A beer was cracked and the ball was dropped. This is when you stand or fall. This was the game. It was on. Two countries fighting for what they wanted. And us just watching at 3 in the morning at an underground bar that couldn't sell beer but let you bring it in. The bartender taking my abuse. "You guys need to stop yelling at other!" Me replying "You need to get a real fucking accent and a decent team cause your fucking next you stupid limey motherfucker."

Oh yeah. War was on.

The sombrero on the pitch at the end of the game brought a smile to my face. The Mexicans at the bar were crying. Like a battle we both had to fight, they lost. We didn't want to do it but we did. Two teams. Two countries. One battle.

Some one had to walk away covered in blood and someone had to die.

Mexico - 0

USA -1

I just smiled. We beat you. So who the fuck is next?

Thats World Cup

Savor the moment. -T

The Business - Maradona
Bouncing Souls - Ole

Thansk to Scott and DK for coming through with some songs for this series. Hey, this Bouncing Souls song is a lot of fun. The Business song is just mean, but good. Check them out.

Ok, look for Ole! to appear over there in the sidebar under my top tracks of the week list. I can't stop listening to it.

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