*I do want to let you all know that this is not a soccer site. We will be doing a few games, but our usual style will continue along with the addition of World Cup. It's only a month guys. Just deal with for a bit. We will be doing some cars tonight, but for this post is about us and this morning. We will be doing the "vroom vrooms" and the "1 2 3 gos" later tonight, but for now.....it's that ball like thing time.*

First game on TV this morning. World Cup. OK. Wake the fuck up turtle. Wake the fuck up. They can do it, you've done it before. Wake up god dammit. It's not that fucking early. Wake up. Find some food and just wait.

OK.

Lets just get something out of the way. I don't watch a lot of TV so I have no reason to get cable. Yeah yeah yeah.You can call me pompous or whatever, but I just don't really watch a lot of it. So why pay for it? I'm not bagging anyone who has cable or Tivo or whatever the hell else there is, but when the only shows you watch are "24" and "Little House on the Prairie", why bother with cable? I got my stereo and my dog and that's pretty much all I need.

As long as Jack Bauer kills someone and Mary goes blind, I can live without paying for cable.

But sometimes it bites me in the ass. Like today. My ass still hurts from this one. Like a straight man in a bondage bar. I might have fucked up.

I needed to see a game.

World Cup that is.The bondage stuff can wait. Hey dude, it's still Saturday. I still got plenty of time to be tied up. This will only be on for 90 minutes. And "Big Style Bob" is always gonna be there with his whip. "24" is over for the season and Mary's always gonna be blind. But I needed to see World Cup. I needed it like a girl on her period needs a pizza. Craving it. But what can I do? I already missed the first two games and no one is gonna help me out until next week with the other games. Fuck. ABC. Shit. ok. Fuck. What do I got. England v Paraguay? That early in the morning? England Parguay? Really? No dude, really?

Shit. Ok. I'll do it. Shit thats early. I forgot about this crap. This early morning shit. But i'll do it. Shit that's early.

So I drag my ass out of bed and eat some cold pizza from the night before. Turn the TV on and watch this go.Something about cancer and berries. OK. I'm gonna take this as a sign it's not on yet. Spitting out some shit that was caught in my teeth from whatever I ate the night before wondering what the hell it was. Was the fuck was that in my teeth? Brown or yellow. Fuck. I need to stop buying food when I'm half awake. Ta hell was this? Oh yeah, the pizza. And I'm eating it again.

Why do I eat this crap? Why doWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

HERE WE FUCKING GO!!!!!!!

BALL DROPPED!!!!!

Everything I was thinking I was.... tired, hungry, groggy, being naked, disappeared when I heard the crowd chant. Well, not being naked. That's just common knowlegde .Hey dude. If you are gonna get me up this early, I'm gonna be naked. I leave the house almost naked everyday so I'm sure as shit not gonna put any clothes on this early on a Saturday. Plus it's kinda funny to watch people getting hurt while scratching your balls and eating day old pizza.

Yeah, I'm sadistic like that.

Thoughts of "Look how bad they are playing" and "Fuck, this is brutal" go even better when you are naked eating cold pizza. Call me sick but it makes me giggle to see these guys playing so hard, sweating blood, getting hurt while I'm too groggy to get up to take a piss and would rather just sit here for 90 minutes than get up to go to the bathroom.Super bladder. I need a little "S" above my cock. Super Bladder. That sounds funny. It can save the world. Super Bladder.

So I won't lie. It has been four years. I had forgotten about what happens there. How it is played out. Long gone are the days of throwing shit all over the field like paper and all that kinda of crap. Well, at least in world cup. I still remember seeing ditches in Mexico to stop fans from storming the fied. It was like a moat to keep people off the pitch. Those days are gone.But still the old things. The chanting and all that. 'Specially with England. Jesus. Those fuckers can sing. Well, not really singing, but chanting the fuck out of everything. What the fuck are they saying? I don't even know what they are saying. This is frustrating. What the fuck? The Queen is green? Hell. Maybe they don't even know. I sure as hell don't.

So the first Group B match is now over. England 1 Paraguay 0. What's funny is that the only goal scored was a corner from Beckham that went off of some Paraguay guy's head into the goal. That was bad. This was something that got you killed in '94 if you played for Colombia. But they gave the credit to Beckham. During the whole match the annoucers called him so great for that shot. It was just a mistake. Why did they keep doing that for him? He didn't make the shot. Why?

Oh yeah. I forgot

He is sponsored by Adidas.

Adidas owns the world

-T

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