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Bad Guys, bad guys, whatcha gonna do?
by Michele Christopher
Favortie bad guy. How do you know who a bad guy is? Well, in horror movies, it's pretty damn easy. Um, Jason is bad. Um, Leatherface is bad. But, really, aren't they all just trying to serve their own goals? Who are you to say they are bad? Like The Thing, Chuckie, and countless other horror movies, they were just doing what they did.
It's what they did and made no excuses.
But, in some movies, there were truely bad people. People with self serving goals. In my case, I wanted to see them achieve their goals. People who weren't killers but could kill. People who could smile at you and shove a knife in your back. You watched the movie and just wondered why he wanted to keep going. Why he didn't get a nice surburban home and watch his kids and dogs. The hell was he doing this for?
Because he was an asshole.
So this is our tribut to our favorite movie villians. We want to know yours cause I'm sure they exist. And, FTTW loves to hear you speak.
turtle goes first today.
Angel Eyes, Tuco and Blondie.
Let's face it. No one was clean here.The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was all about screwing someone over. We all need to get to the gold, but someones gonna die before we touch it. Blondie and Tuco were less evil. They never really wanted anything other then to eat at night and not get a bullet in their back. Tuco would help out poor people who needed some food, but he always had an angle while Blondie just got tired of all the killing. There were others thou who would always be behind them. Always following them because they knew they were keepers. The keepers of the secrets. The keepers of the gold. Angel Eyes had followed them to the prison camp and had infiltrated the union military running the Union prison camp. Angel Eyes tortured Tuco for the information about the gold's location, and eventually got Tuco to break, but when he learned that Blondie knows the name of the grave and not Tuco, he changed tactics. Figuring that Blondie is "smart enough to know that talking won't save you", he proposed a partnership, and, accompanied by five or six other killers, they left to find the gold. Tuco escapeed from the camp and eventually was found by Blondie.
Blondie and Tuco needed each other to find it. They had the puzzle. Angel Eyes just followed. Trying to find out what they knew. Always one step behind. Always with his watch. The ending of this movie was one of the classics of all time. Tuco had dug a grave. Tables were turned. Blondie and Tuco were digging a grave. Angel eyes had found them. And Angel Eyes had the gun. The three of them watching each other while that song played in the background.
Angel Eyes' gun was empty.
It was over. The song ended. The chased weren't being chased anymore. Angel Eyes was dead. The song had ended. And you all know you hated that stupid watch song at the end. You just wanted someone to get popped so you could order a pizza. Cause face it. We all watched this movie on a boring Sunday afternoon.
Tuco was forced to put a rope around his neck. Forced at gunpoint by Blondie to hang himself. Screaming while standing on a broke cross in an old graveyard from a tree, Blondie shot the rope.Tuco fell to the ground.
And Blondie was gone.
At least Tuco got half the gold.
Cause Blondie was cool like that. - T
Michele is up next!
Drexel Spivey, Norman Stansfield and Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
All played by Gary Oldman. This guy has given life to some of the best villains in the history of film. Even in craptastic movies like Lost in Space, he still managed to bring an air of respectability to the screen. Ok, there was no such thing as respectability with that movie. I still can’t believe he was in it. But for what he had to work with, he did ok.
But his other movies. Oldman was born to the play the bad guy. Those beady eyes. The perfect sneer. The dangerous look. The quiet madness that lurks behind that smile. He’s played a vicious pimp, a corrupt cop, a terrorist, a nasty warden, a crazed futuristic murderer, a deranged punk rocker, an assassin and a famous vampire. He owns the villain market.
A few of his great parts:
Air Force One. The movie was, meh. But Oldman threatens Harrison Ford (playing the president). A villain holding a gun to Harrison Ford's head and making him squirm like a baby? That’s quality entertainment there and Oldman played it perfectly.
In Fifth Element (one of my all time favorite movies), Oldman plays Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg totally over-the-top. It works. In every scene he’s in he eats up the screen and spits out everyone around him. He makes that movie work. “Look at my fingers: four stones, four crates. Zero stones? ZERO CRATES!” He mixes humor with badness so well that you’re not sure if his character is funny or just fucking crazy.
Oldman’s smallest yet best villain role was in (one of my favorite movies, see a trend here?) True Romance. His bit part as pimp master Drexl Spivey ranks among the greatest pieces of cinematic acting ever. He’s so bad, so insidious, so disgusting and vile and nasty He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it? ) that you can’t help but be drawn to this character. Oldman packed so much into that small performance that you think about him long after he gets what’s coming to him. Pimpin' ain't easy.
So if I had to pick the most badass villain from all of Oldman's roles, it would Normal Stansfield from Leon.
So that was our take on the villians that we think are cool.
A villain is just a villain in someone else's eyes.
So who are yours?
The best bad guy?