Let's face it. No one was clean here.The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was all about screwing someone over. We all need to get to the gold, but someones gonna die before we touch it. Blondie and Tuco were less evil. They never really wanted anything other then to eat at night and not get a bullet in their back. Tuco would help out poor people who needed some food, but he always had an angle while Blondie just got tired of all the killing. There were others thou who would always be behind them. Always following them because they knew they were keepers. The keepers of the secrets. The keepers of the gold. Angel Eyes had followed them to the prison camp and had infiltrated the union military running the Union prison camp. Angel Eyes tortured Tuco for the information about the gold's location, and eventually got Tuco to break, but when he learned that Blondie knows the name of the grave and not Tuco, he changed tactics. Figuring that Blondie is "smart enough to know that talking won't save you", he proposed a partnership, and, accompanied by five or six other killers, they left to find the gold. Tuco escapeed from the camp and eventually was found by Blondie.

Angel Eyes

Blondie and Tuco needed each other to find it. They had the puzzle. Angel Eyes just followed. Trying to find out what they knew. Always one step behind. Always with his watch. The ending of this movie was one of the classics of all time. Tuco had dug a grave. Tables were turned. Blondie and Tuco were digging a grave. Angel eyes had found them. And Angel Eyes had the gun. The three of them watching each other while that song played in the background.

Angel Eyes' gun was empty.

It was over. The song ended. The chased weren't being chased anymore. Angel Eyes was dead. The song had ended. And you all know you hated that stupid watch song at the end. You just wanted someone to get popped so you could order a pizza. Cause face it. We all watched this movie on a boring Sunday afternoon.

Tuco was forced to put a rope around his neck. Forced at gunpoint by Blondie to hang himself. Screaming while standing on a broke cross in an old graveyard from a tree, Blondie shot the rope.Tuco fell to the ground.

And Blondie was gone.

At least Tuco got half the gold.

Cause Blondie was cool like that. - T

Michele is up next!

I love villains. Most movies, I root for the bad guy. Cheering on the good guy is so white bread. I need some action. Some danger. I like bad guys. And not just any bad guys, but the ones who are bad to the bone in a quiet kind of way. The perfect villain has to be mean and underhanded. Yet have charm and sexiness. He doesn’t run around town hacking up hookers because he has a small penis. He fights for guts and glory. For vengeance. For power and personal victory over demons of his past. Like a broken heart or being beaten up by bullies or that time he saw his stepfather doing weird things to the cat. And he drives a cool car. Or ship (Think Boba Fett here).

So who’s the best villain? Well, one guy has played all my favorites.

Drexel Spivey, Norman Stansfield and Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

All played by Gary Oldman. This guy has given life to some of the best villains in the history of film. Even in craptastic movies like Lost in Space, he still managed to bring an air of respectability to the screen. Ok, there was no such thing as respectability with that movie. I still can’t believe he was in it. But for what he had to work with, he did ok.

But his other movies. Oldman was born to the play the bad guy. Those beady eyes. The perfect sneer. The dangerous look. The quiet madness that lurks behind that smile. He’s played a vicious pimp, a corrupt cop, a terrorist, a nasty warden, a crazed futuristic murderer, a deranged punk rocker, an assassin and a famous vampire. He owns the villain market.

A few of his great parts:

Air Force One. The movie was, meh. But Oldman threatens Harrison Ford (playing the president). A villain holding a gun to Harrison Ford's head and making him squirm like a baby? That’s quality entertainment there and Oldman played it perfectly.

In Fifth Element (one of my all time favorite movies), Oldman plays Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg totally over-the-top. It works. In every scene he’s in he eats up the screen and spits out everyone around him. He makes that movie work. “Look at my fingers: four stones, four crates. Zero stones? ZERO CRATES!” He mixes humor with badness so well that you’re not sure if his character is funny or just fucking crazy.

Oldman's best role and one of the best villains ever created was as Agent Norman Stansfield in Leon - aka The Professional (another one of my favorite movies). I fell in love with this character despite his obvious faults. He’s a corrupt cop, but so much more. He oozes evil. There’s not a god damn redeeming thing about him, yet I can’t wait until those moments he is on the screen. You’re riveted by his performance, by the perversity of Stanfield’s wickedness. I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it? It's like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects. Do you like Beethoven? That's not even the best part. I get shivers down my spine every time I hear him say Death is....whimsical today.

Oldman’s smallest yet best villain role was in (one of my favorite movies, see a trend here?) True Romance. His bit part as pimp master Drexl Spivey ranks among the greatest pieces of cinematic acting ever. He’s so bad, so insidious, so disgusting and vile and nasty He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it? ) that you can’t help but be drawn to this character. Oldman packed so much into that small performance that you think about him long after he gets what’s coming to him. Pimpin' ain't easy.

So if I had to pick the most badass villain from all of Oldman's roles, it would Normal Stansfield from Leon.

- M

So that was our take on the villians that we think are cool.

Always remember.....

A villain is just a villain in someone else's eyes.

So who are yours?

The best bad guy?