Leave the gun. Take the cannolis. What movies came out when you were born?
by Michele Christopher

So what year was it? When were you born? What do you look back on in pride or shame and say "Crap. I was born in that year." What was your year? We don't wanna push any of you to reveal your age. We realize that some of you may be, well, pussies, but none the less, we threw our egos to the wind and picked a movie from each year. The ones we were born in. Some of us, read me, always gets lucky when we do stuff like this. Some of us, read Michele, always get screwed. And you know the funny part is, she comes up with these ideas. Little lesson to you all. If you are running a site with someone else always check your facts before you come up with an idea because you might get grabbed in the poo poo.

So what do we have tonight? Movies! What movie came out in the year you were born? Grab a movie and tell us about it!

Here are ours.


Well turtle sure lucked out on this one. This is where it sucks being old. Well, it always kind of sucks being old, but it sucks more when you are trying to do something like this. Because Turtle gets cool things like the "Godfather" and "Fritz the Cat" to choose from and I get a bunch of war movies. But, this was my idea. So I have to go with it. Just like the last time something was my idea and I fucked myself with it.

Some shit happened. Castro was getting on everyone's nerves. Some people died, some people were born, some planes crashed, some songs were released, some movies were made. Not a lot of good movies, though. I almost though I was going to be able to write about Mothra, the greatest Japanes monster to ever terrorize the planet, but. after checking conflicting sources, I realized it was released in 61. Oh well.

Well, fuck it. We're gonna talk about Elvis. Yea, of all the movies that came out in 1962, I'm pulling out the Elvis flick. There's a reason for this.

See, Elvis has been haunting my dreams lately.94m.jpg Not just any Elvis. This one is of the white jumpsuit era. And he's made of velvet. Don't ask. Just know that he talks to me and offers me advice on love life, usually along the lines of "Turtles, Michele. Turtles." Last night he was eating a turkey leg at my wedding. He got some grease in his velvet, but he had a lady friend, this chubby, Mexican cocktail waitress that hangs around my dreams with him, who cleaned him up with a rag and some Windex. Velvis cleans up good.

So, because Velvis is so good to me in my dreams, I'll talk about his 1962 release, Girls! Girls! Girls! Yes, we are all singing the Crue song in our head now. Handful of grease in my hair feels right. Yea, I could definitely see Elvis singing that.

Anyhow, this movie. Yes, I've seen it. As a child, I was forced into viewing every Elvis movie in existence. My mom was pretty cool in that she instilled in me a love of horror movies, but I don't know if that makes up for the Elvis movie/album marathons. Elvis in Hawaii. Clambake. Some movie where Mary Tyler Moore is a nun and Elvis seduces her. I think. I think he has to battle Jesus for Mary's heart or something. Not like a fistfight battle or anything, though that would be cool. Just a battle of Mary Tyler Moore's conscience. ve033.gif Who would win? Her savior or her heated loins? I don't think she was even really a nun in that movie, anyhow. Which kind of sucks for Elvis, because that means they started their relationship of with a lie. He thought he was going to get busy with a nun. That was probably the whole attraction right there. Turns out she wasn't really holy. So what was that shit about "I'm saving for myself for Jesus?" Did she mean her gardner? Oh, there might have been a donkey in this movie, too. I don't think the donkey figured into the love scenes, but it was there. I'll have to ask Velvis about that if I see him tonight. Geez, this isn't even the movie I'm supposed to be writing about. That was 69. My sister was born in 69, does that count? No. Hmm. Ok, moving on.

Anyhow, the movie. Basically, most of his movies followed a formula. Elvis meets girls. Elvis sings to girls. Elvis makes out with someone. What happens in between all that doesn't matter. It's like watching the old Star Trek shows. You just wait for the moment when Kirk bangs an alien chick. Then the episode is complete. When Elvis sings at some swooning girl, the movie has reached it's climax. The rest is just filler. Elvis. Kirk. Kind of the same thing, don't you think? All you needed was an episode of Star Trek where Kirk swiveled his hips and crooned something like "hunka hunka burnin love" to some chick with blue skin and three arms, and you'd have Elvis in space. Maybe throw in a donke and a nun. A nun with a reptilian tail, just to make it more realistic. Because aliens usually have some kind of reptilian tail, right? Or maybe fangs. Or antennae.

Hey, did Elvis ever make a space movie? That would be cool. Elvis the Astronaut. Takes off for planets uknown, in search of life. He's gonna help save Earth or something. And then he finds this planet of hot chicks. And just as he's about to get horizontal with the most beautiful alien/woman/bipedal on the planet, Kirk shows up and challenges him to a duel. WInner takes the alien lady. Loser gets sent home with blue balls. But they don't fight it out with light sabers or anything like that. No, they have a sing-off.

At the cantina.

Han Solo is there.

Hey, Han is kind of like Elvis, too. See, he always....

Ok, I'm stopping there. -M


1972. The year of big cars, forgotten dreams and the end of a war. Almost. TV was shitty and the world was going to hell. The 60's pipe flash was just a dream. There was never a utopian society. There never will be one. If you still believed that society existed, go see a pastor named Jim Jones in Oakland. He and his flock are moving to Southern Guana to try this who society thing over. If you like slavery and suicide, this place was calling you.

And Kool Aid.

But 1972. What do I have as far as movies? A quick look at the imdb gives me a clue. Oh yeah. I got lucky again.

So tonight in tribute to Michele, I will do a movie that presents her family in a pristine light. One that perfectly describes who she is and how her family works. A movie that if any of you watched, you would say, "that is Michele." You know where I am going with this.

So what did I pick?

The Godfather.

Bad accents. Yup. That's Michele. People yelling. Yeah. That's Michele. Italian food everynight. Um, yeah. That's Michele. It's like this movie was written for her or I'm just being goofy and want to poke her with a big stick. A big stick name Fredo that has a ravioli on the end just begging for some kind of red sauce.

If you can't tell, I'm still mad about World Cup. Damn Italians.

See, I can do this cause she knows I'm not serious

But really. I like this movie. Although I don't really understand why everyone was so angry. In California, we sit down when we have a problem with someone. Have some coffee. Slowly talk our issues out. Then we blow their fucking head out with a sawed off shotgun. The pasta thing. I can't get that. Really, when Michele makes pasta, I'm scared she has a .22 taped to the back of the toliet. I guess in New York they just don't like coffee. That pasta thing. Just weighs you down. At least with coffee you can run away after you shoot a police seargent. Pasta would just give me a cramp.

I don't like running anyways, but having a lump of tortellini in my gut as I jump garabage cans running away from the East Side mob doesn't particularly interest me. Call me weird.

I got off track again....

This was a really a good movie that turned me onto the wide world of gangsters. Cause these guys were cool. Gangsters were cool. The mob was cool.They had fun. Sure, they had to kill a few people now and then. Sure, the kids were dying like flies. Sure, Brando was as corrupt and as ruthless as they come. But what families don't have some problems? They had pasta. And a family that eats together controls the Lower East Side together. Or something like that. I can't remember that movie too well.

Brando. The godfather. He had problems. He handled them in the same way I handle problems. Calm, decisive, and with a handgun. Well, maybe not the handgun part for me. But, he had the upper hand. Always. Don't offer him some cake? Fuck off. Don't help his friends? fritz02.jpgGo away. Not only did Brando tell you to go away, but he also lectured you on why he was denying your request. He told you he wouldn't help you cause you didn't help him. See, that's a real cool way to go thru life. Like Satanism. Help me and I'll help you you out. Call Anton LeVay cause I think we have a ghost writer. And if you didn't like the way he operated, Sonny would break your kneecaps.

Hail Satan!

1972 also had "Fritz the Cat" but I was so drugged up when I saw that, all I can remember is a cat with a dick and I really can't write a whole lot on that.

Unless the cat is was really hung.

Cause that would be funny. - T

Motley Crue - Girls Girls Girls
Fantomas - Godfather Waltz


1990 - Germany reunifies, the Soviet Union deunifies. The first Jawbreaker album came out.


I was born in '60, the year JFK was elected and the year one of the greatest horror movies of all time came out (Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho).

Turtle - The Godfather has got to be in the top three of my all-time favorites, right behind Raising Arizona and Godfather Part II, the only sequel, that I know of, that was better than the original.



1974. The Ramones form. Bunch of stuff is already ongoing, but not much actually happens this year.

Movies: Apparently there were some good flicks that came out this year, but I haven't seen either of them -- Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore and Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia. But I did see what I consider to be one of the best movies of all time that came out that year: Young Frankenstien.


I was born near the end of the year that, according to some charts, puts me in the baby boomer realm. I never identify with any group, not now, not as a youth, so whether I am a Boomer or not is meaningless to me.

The Beatles played Shea Stadium. That I grew up a mile from it probably has some connection to my love of the band in my middle school years. Not the 'She Loves You' Beatles, but more of the 'Walrus' years.

Dr. Strangelove was released the year of my birth, and it would be about a dozen years before I saw it.

The Mustang was born this year, which certainly eclipses my birth in importance. I mean, it was just me that was born, but The Mustang (and its spirit) will live on long after me.


1972, same year as the turtle (but not the year of the turtle... The rat, i think...)

Let's see.... President Nixon, Pong came out, the Israeli Olympic team got murdered in Munich.....

The day I was born, Croat terrorists placed a bomb on a Yugoslavian flight and blew the living hell out of it.... A woman named Vesna Vulovic fell 33,000 feet and lived to tell about it....

Pretty uneventful if you ask me.....


it is the year of the rat thefinn

thats pretty cool

the year of the rat



yay rats! speaking of rats how about paul lynde as the voice of templeton the rat in my movie pick of 1972

charlotte's web!!


You 1972 people got all the good movies.

I hated Paul Lynde. Something about him gave me the creeps.


it's cuz he was that jerk uncle arthur on bewitched...


You '72ers just wish you could be cool tigers like us '74ers.


Hmmm... Tigers are sensitive, deep thinkers and capable of great sympathy.....

Rats are charming, attractive and perfectionists....

Nah, I'm good.....


I'm a tiger. Turtle is a rat.

Both are pretty accurate descriptions.



Jaws - Muhahahahahaha!

But more importantly, that year saw the release of the cinematic masterpiece that ignited a world-wide craze and continues to influence and inspire Hollywood to this day...W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings


1960 was also the year of the rat. Rats rule!

Paul Lynde suched on Bewitched, true. But he was awesome as the center square in Hollywood Squares.

Cullen: Amen to Young Frankenstein. Omigod!



all that matters about '70 is that i was born in January of it. I'm a rooster. In all the worst ways. From what i read about '70, and what i hear from people who remember '70, 1970 sucked fat ones in so many ways.


January rocks, pril.


Now we're getting into specific months?

Turtle is January.

I'm August. August people rule. That's a well known fact.


yes. i just looked it up and it seems to be a "widely known" fact that august people rule.

we kick the shit out of the other 11 months.


Hmm. I looked up the 1970 movies and there's a bunch of movies I've seen like MASH, Patton and of course The Aristocats. Not much to get excited about. There's a couple of John Wayne and Clint movies in there but they happen to be some of the bad ones. Pretty lame overall.

Plus, 70 featured Apollo 13, Hendrix's OD and the US invades Cambodia. Awesome. The Bruins won the Cup that year. At least that's something.


Back when Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News had his very first Butt Numb Athon - we were there and he screened Fritz the Cat for us. It was some crazy shit!!


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