I hate little house!
by Turtle Jones

Ok. Today's early morning post is from me. Michele got off work early and came home during "Little House". She was kinda disturbed that I was interested in the show more then her cause, well, I'm kinda lame when it comes to two shows. Little House and 24, so she has to bear with me. But I understood her feelings.

So I wrote a song for her.

We still need music and any reader help would be amazing. Most of you are musicians and for reasons best left unsaid, we can't ask her kids to do this. So maybe you will? We might even buy you something on Amazon if you send us an MP3. Have fun with this if you decide to participate.

Here are the lyrics.

She loses his attention! They come on everyday!
He's constantly watches them! I hope he isn't gay
cause thats the Olsens. The mother fucking Olsens!
some days i'd rather him sleep then put on this tweak
i sit and wait each day, for him to look back at me, why cant he see?
The Olsens are a crime, Charles Ingalls takes his time!
Like I care about horses! He's fucking ignoring me!
Sure "24" was bad, but thats only an hour!
Fuck! He's still not there! Gotta take a shower!
What does he see in this? It's just a fucking show
Is he watching Nellies tits?
Watching them fucking grow?
I hate the Ingalls! I hate the Olsens!
I hate the fucking preacher!
Fuck the fucking the teacher!
I want to see them go!

Fuck Little House! Fuck the Prairie! If I had my way, they'd be dead in a cemetery!

Now we just need music.

Grab your bass or guitar or pick up whatever you play and send it to us. All songs will be posted on this site and we will give you all rights to the music. The lyrics are yours. This is just for fun and something to do if you are bored. We will post them all. Most of all, have fun.

This has top ten written all over it. - T

/keep in mind I wrote this in three minutes

Inspired by The Queen Haters

Comments

Listen. I don't mind being forsaken for Jack and Chloe on Monday nights.

But two hours every morning for the Ingalls family? I understand the show is riveting and has all kinds of drama and shit, but....it's Little House on the Prairie. I shouldn't have to shake my tits and say "LOOK AT ME!" while this show is on.

Just wait until Mr. Belvedere comes back in reruns. He could stand naked in front of me holding out ice cream and the promise of mutliple orgasms and I'm just gonna ignore him.

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so what was the kid's name, then?

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You should just netflix those shows. then you can watch them whenever you want to. That's what we do with '24', (which my wife and i are also totally addicted to by the way.)

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TIVO man. That's why God created DVRs.

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Somehow, I think actually recording this on the tivo and then setting aside two hours to watch it would be much worse than just kind of glancing at it while it's on tv.

Which is all he does, really. I do hope you all know we're just kidding around.

Mostly.

Kind of.

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Of course we do. I mean, we're the ones lame enough to be TIVOing Little House.

Speaking of which, did anyone watch Eureka last night? I TIVO'd it.

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I watched (though I missed the last half hour) and really enjoyed it, Cullen.

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i have no tivo. i have no cable. i do, however have a dvd player hooked up to my '80s tv thru a vcr that stops working until i give it a fonzie everyonce in a while.

so i steal shows of the innerweb. it is illegal and feels dangerous and sexy.

what is this "eureka" of which you speak?

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Hope this works. As you know I suck at comments

Netflix Little House DVDs

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It's a new show on the Sci-Fi channel, kali.

Looks like a cross between X-Files, Twin Peaks meets National Lampoons.

Torrentspy/Bit Comet are my friends also, but mainly for foreign TV I can't get here -- like the BBC's current season of Doctor Who (which just ended).

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Eureka messed up my ECW- I'm the one with the real tv troubles. Embarrasing...I'm so addicted

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