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if the ball gag fits by Turtle Jones
While we are working behind the scenes here, we thought this would be a great time to introduce you to one of our new regular contributors, Kali. You are gonna love her. Kali's sex stories will appear weekly on FTTW in its new format.
when turtle suggested the name scream like a banshee he nailed the fucker. let's just say that i have always been known for my, uh, vocal acrobatics in bed. if you've lived with me, you know this. and if you've slept with me, you've certainly not forgotten. i'm not even sure how i knew it was okay and even useful to have loud love. it may have been a matter of me finally learning to enjoy sex so much that i just let 'er rip. the first time i remember someone saying anything was somewhere around my senior year of high school. my boyfriend at the time (i've had somewhere near 50 -- i shit you not, and that's just boyfriends -- heh) and i were descending the stairs from a romp in his bedroom and his other guests asked me how opera practice was. ha ha. oopsy guess i was a teensy bit loud. the best/worst case of me exercising my chops was in key west though. my boyfriend (ya different dude) and i lived with a dominatrix who had an LSD fetish. on any given day we'd come home to find either some dude in his underwear scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, or our living room covered in glitter confetti and neon lights and a fog machine left running. yes, those were fun times. we lived in the back bedroom that had it's own entrance. the door was a florida type door with the heavy glass blind thingys that you could louvre open or closed. hurricane door or some shit. anywho, we had the airconditioner running so the slats were closed tight. it was the middle of the day but as we were both in the service industry 2pm was our morning wake up so to speak. well, during the course of our, uh, love-making comes a rap at the hurricane door. the cop knock. you know the kind. RAP - RAP - RAP oh shit. what the fuck? RAP - RAP - RAP "Monroe County PD Open Up" "uh, just a second officer..." what the fuck? why's he at the back door? we scramble for our clothes search the room hide the bong throw clothes on top of the stolen street signs. you know, the whole fuck-the-cops-are-at-the-door tango. "Everybody OK In There?" booms the voice outside. "ya coming just a sec.." i shove the boy towards the door and i jump back into bed covering myself with the blankets. (ya, i'm a bitch like that. boys talk to cops at the door and mechanics, girls talk to receptionists and grocery store clerks.) he opens the door and goes outside smart and experienced enough to not ask the cops inside. i hear muffled conversation for about 5 or 10 minutes. nothing's happening though. i figure it can't be us. guess they're searching the neighborhood for someone or something. my heart starts to slow a bit. he comes back in grinning from ear to ear. closes the door behind him. "they said they got a call from the neighbor. he called to report that it sounded like someone was getting beat up in here. said he heard smacking and banging and some girl screaming." ya. that would be me. screaming like a banshee. heh. --kali Soundgarden - Loud Love
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Comments
kali rules
that's all I'm gonna say
Posted by: the turtle | August 31, 2006 2:33 PM
All I gotta say is that the ball gag photo is false advertising. ;)
Posted by: Cullen | August 31, 2006 3:02 PM
holy moly that was quick! thanks guys you rule.
Posted by: kali | August 31, 2006 3:11 PM
we dont fuck around on FTTW
cause we are cute!
Posted by: the turtle | August 31, 2006 3:18 PM
yes you are
Posted by: kali | August 31, 2006 4:25 PM
Bravo! That must have benn some VERY IMPRESSIVE moaning/screaming for someone in laid-back Key West to call the KWPD. The neighbor lady was probably yelling at her other half "Why can't you make me do that?" and they called the PD just to keep you quiet.
Posted by: UnkFrank | August 31, 2006 5:26 PM
That's fucking great kali, nice one. Way to bust out of the gates.
Posted by: Dan | August 31, 2006 7:18 PM
thanks, gents.
Posted by: kali | August 31, 2006 11:09 PM
Nice job, kali!
Posted by: miker | September 1, 2006 5:05 PM
OK, it took forever to track down your article on here - but it was well worth the effort.
Posted by: RWA | September 12, 2006 3:05 PM