We broke up just before I left country. She had taken some "art" photos of herself for me, just before I had gone away on a trip. Rather than leave them at my house (and let my little brother or my mother find them), I shoved them into my bag and headed out…. During the trip, however, those photos fell into the hands of a friend of mine. And he did what any red blooded American boy would do with nudie photographs of a cheerleader… He proceeded to make hundreds of photocopies and distribute them to anyone within reach. He practically wallpapered the room in the hostel we were staying in with them. He handed them out on a street corner. Sure, it was kinda funny,but I made him promise me, that once we got back home, he’d destroy whatever copies he had left and that Laurie would never find out that her nekkid body had been plastered all over a foreign country. And then we went home.

First day back at school and the damn photocopies are EVERYWHERE. Apparently he got to school early and started stuffing lockers with the damn things…. Needless to say, Laurie was upset. She was convinced that the whole thing was my idea, that this was some game I was playing to humiliate her. So she dumped me. At the time, I didn't care that much. She was an attractive girl with nice legs and maybe in ten of fifteen years she’d look back and laugh. Besides, I was leaving country in thirty days and I would never see her again. So who cared if she thought I was a dick ?

Fast forward six months.... I’m living and working in D.C., just trying to get by.
I’d been working two full-time, really crappy jobs. I’d just been fired from one, so I took a little walk to clear my head. Had a smoke, got a plate of rice and beans from the Mexican joint on the corner and was feeling just a bit better about losing half my income because I cursed my boss out. Passing the local gym, I spied a fine pair of legs out of the corner of my eye. I followed the legs up and recognized the shake, which was odd, as I’d only been back in the country for a few months, and I damn well knew that walk. Long blonde hair and…. Oh shit. It’s Laurie, coming out of the gym and walking to her car.

(Just as an aside, I like to watch my woman walk. Most of the women I’ve dated could walk, but there is a difference between walking and walking. It’s like a forgotten art at this point. Most women simply clomp about, one foot in front of the other. However, when a woman walks, that’s something entirely different. The hips sway, the calves elongate a bit, the thighs don’t go all hard as they move on. It’s like fine clockwork. Almost as if they are satisfied. And it’s not done nearly enough anymore….)

I called across the parking lot to her, “Meine kleine hasaufgabe madchen !!” and she stopped. Dead in her tracks. And that’s when I knew. I was positive that my day was turning around. She turned and looked at me, started to head my way. She sauntered right up to me, all beauty queen smile and had a twinkle in her eyes. “Hi”, I said.

She spit in my face and kicked me in the nuts. Hard enough to get my skinny ass on my knees in the middle of the lot. “Cocksucker” she said and turned on her heel. I was amazed that she still had a grudge and that somehow, she’d carried it across thousands of miles….. And that was the last time I ever saw her.

Funny thing is, she’s a pornstar now. Odd how that works out…..