My Life As A Teenage Zombie Call Girl by Wilhelm von Hans von Masterson von Stuttgart von Bob
Every job has occupational hazards.... Some are more "gruesome" that others.... But once in a while, you find a place you actually fit, and the risks don't seem that bad anymore... Here's Wilhelm...
Okay, okay, maybe not teenage exactly but I've always looked young for my age and since the years after you become a zombie don't count, well, you know how many clients pay extra for the 'teenage' in teenage zombie call girl? Anyway, that's what the math from the birth date on my driver's license says and I'm sticking to it.
As for the zombie call girl part - that's definitely true, and it's a pretty good gig if you can get it. With zombie call girls, johns don't have to worry about catching or transmitting diseases, and since so many of them are worried about privacy, and since we're already dead, they know we'll take their secrets to the grave.
Just a little zombie humor there…look, I said a was a teenage zombie call girl not a teenage zombie comedienne.
I kid! I kid.
My Life As A Teenage Zombie Call Girl
Like I said, business is good, there are actually more necrophiliacs out there than you might think. Now now, don't judge, apart from the necrophilia thing they are just like you and me, well, like you anyway. They're just looking for a little love, a little tenderness, a
Do you have any idea how hard it is to sew an arm back on with only one hand?
Anyway, when they don't use the equipment, it's a pretty safe business. The johns know what'll happen to them if they get too kinky, the cops don't mess with us because, while necrophilia with the dead may be illegal necrophilia with the undead is fairly new legal ground and there's no legal precedent yet. I don't have a pimp so I get to make my own hours and keep all the money I make.
What's that? You want to know about the 'zombie' part of teenage zombie call girl? That part's easy, there wasn't any more room in hell.
Tricky- She Makes Me Want to Die