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by Turtle Jones
Since you guys can prolly tell we are trying to round out this site as much as possible while kicking out the same amount of material we do every day, some things are going to get stuck in our brains as we try to find a few more people to fill up our last slots on this new endeavor of ours. We had something on our mind tonight. Cartoons. Specifically, what are your favorite animated movies? And I damn well know someone is going to say Fritz the Cat, but really, Fritz didn't really have a very big cock, so I wouldn't really put that in one of my cool cartoons. Plus it was kinda stupid. Let's face it. A lot of animated movies back then we thought were cool really kinda suck now, but some stood up well.
What were yours?
turtle lights a cigar, tries his best.
I had no idea what day or what time it was or even what month it was. I've given up writing a timeline of my life for the girl I am gonna marry, so I’m not gonna bother with you guys. All I remember was drinking a beer and someone kicking in a back door to let us into a theater to get out of the heat. It was so damn hot out I would have seen "On Golden Pond" just to get into the air conditioning at that point.
Kids. Everywhere. Kids. Everywhere. Yelling and screaming. What the fuck did I get myself into?
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
OK. Before you start to think I am all jaded and shit and am just bagging on this movie, let me start off by telling you that this movie was fucking cool. Cracked a beer while getting dirty looks from over protective mothers as I shot gunned a Budweiser and watched the scenes unfold. Hey, this was kind of cool. Those broad's tits were a little out of control and the jokes were really geared for an older crowd. Like what five year old knows who the hell some of these characters were? This was old time stuff. Sure, Popeye wasn't in there for legal reasons but everyone else was. The voices on some of the characters were changed cause the original voice overs were, well, dead, but they still pulled it off pretty good. I think.
But, I was drunk so who knows.
I still remember the way the bad guy was played. Man, he was mean. His eyes sticking out when he was going to kill the fat cop. That stuck with me. One thing I never got was that cartoons were meant to do no harm and just to entertain. What happened to this guy? Why can he kill?
Talk about hole in the script that your could drive a fucking dump truck thru. But anyways.
When the fat cop dumped out his booze and watched it hit the ground as the over protective mothers in the audience cheered, I took the opportunity to crack a beer and slam it back and crush the can.
Jeez. It's just a movie, moms. You’re lucky I'm not firing up a cigar for your god like reaction. 21st amendment? Remember that? Meh.
Well, I guess Roger was innocent and someone got fucked and bullets talked and some other weird things happened like some kid getting killed at Disneyland on the Roger Rabbit Ride.
It just goes to show you.
Fun comes with a price.
What the hell was I talking about, anyways? -T
Turtle predicted I would “go all weird” on him. Meaning I was going to pass over my first picks of Toy Story and Aladdin and maybe even the Pokemon movie for something Japanese. And he was right. Except I decided to leave Akira for another day. Really, there aren’t a lot of people who would appreciate the existentialism of the resulting post from that one. And when it came down to it, I wasn’t going to do a favorite animated movie and not pick a Miyazaki flick.
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi aka Spirited Away
There are so many things to love about this movie; the animation, the colorful characters, the plot, the underlying themes, how it turns dark and foreboding at points while remaining whimsical. But what I love most about Spirited Away is what it made me feel.
It was at the moment when Chihiro discovers the abandoned amusement park with her parents when I felt it. I was ten again. Pouring through books about knights and wizards and trolls and elves. Digging in my backyard for treasure or for mysterious holes that would lead me to magic kingdoms. Craving adventure, magic, anything out of the ordinary.
Hell, it wasn’t just the ten year old in me it spoke to. It reached my grown up life, too. This was every adventure game I ever played. It was Zork and Zelda and everything in between. Everything Chihiro had to accomplish to find her parents and go back to her life reminded me of traveling dark mazes and being eaten by grues and desperately trying to fill my heart containers and outwit enemies. A whole fantasyland of gods and spirits and odd characters and strange happenings stretched out before this little girl and I watched almost with envy as she worked her way toward her goal - to break the spell on her parents (who had been turned into pigs). I wanted to do this. Every time I sat in front of that 64 bit computer and typed in something like
this is what I was craving. To live a story like this.
This is definitely a children’s story at heart, but it is a very grown up tale at its soul. Lots of lessons to be found within. Metaphors and allegories and symbolism and double meanings are everywhere. You might not even get some of it the first time around. I watched this last night for the sixth time and there were things going on I never caught before. Little snippets you uncover like hidden treasures when you know which corners to look in.
You watch this movie and you see a little girl growing up and discovering things about herself and not only the world she lives in but the world outside of hers. There are greater things out there than her. There are lessons about love and courage and selflessness. About taking care of what’s around you. And it’s all so beautifully animated and the story so brilliantly told - the train sequence alone is one you can play back over and over again just to take it all in - that I can sometimes forget I am watching a movie.
I was Chihiro for a bit. I was on this adventure with her, working in the bath house, figuring out the River Spirit’s problem, helping Haku discover his name, trying to keep her parents from being turned into bacon. This isn’t just a movie. It’s an experience. It is my imagination. I am ten years old and wishing dragons were real. I am 20 and sitting in front of my C64.
>it is dark. you are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Bringing that all back, plus brilliant artwork? You can’t beat that. -M
So there's our favorite animated movies. What's your poison? Disney? Anime? X-rated cartoons?
And yea, I was serious about Pokemon. That was a cool movie. Pikachu rules.
What's your favorite?
i wanna go on record as saying Heavy Metal sucked bad
Posted by: the turtle | August 30, 2006 8:47 PM
Heavy Metal did suck.... But the soundtrack kicked ass... Any time you can get Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult and Devo on the same album is a good time...
Posted by: thefinn | August 30, 2006 10:09 PM
and that sammy hagar song was cool
/shudders that he just said that....
Posted by: the turtle | August 30, 2006 10:28 PM
I'm going to pretend I didn't read that thing about Sammywhatshisface.
Posted by: michele | August 30, 2006 10:33 PM
I like Shrek. The part where the gingerbread man is getting wrung for information is funny.
'Do you know... The Muffin Man?' 'The Muffin Man? Yes... who lives on Drury Lane?'
Other than that, I got nuthin. Was the Animatrix considered a movie? I thought that was pretty cool. :P
Posted by: mrbandw | August 30, 2006 11:20 PM
Was the Animatrix considered a movie? I thought that was pretty cool. :P
Yea, i was just thinking of that.
It was cooler than all the Matrix movies put together.
Posted by: michele | August 30, 2006 11:26 PM
It's not even close to great (okay, even good) animation, but South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut kicked some serious ass. The fact that they made it into a musical ("Uncle Fucka" and "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" are classics) was just awesome.
Posted by: Sean M. | August 31, 2006 5:18 AM
The train scene that they did in the Animatrix was damn cool... I really enoyed the noir-ish-ness (man, I've gotta stop making up words....)
Discussion fodder (because I'm grumpy and watch too many cartoons...)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Transformers Movie
The Iron Giant
Okay, I need more coffee...
Posted by: thefinn | August 31, 2006 6:49 AM
i liked finding nemo
/hangs head in shame again
Posted by: the turtle | August 31, 2006 7:29 AM
Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my all time favorite movies.
And i love Finding Nemo. Especially the turtle dude :)
Posted by: michele | August 31, 2006 8:49 AM
ok i just need you all to know that i hate cartoons. snoozathon. babysitters nightmare. the end. (yes i've seen akira. oh ya and blah blah blah artist genuis blah... it's also why i don't listen to jam bands i don't care how "good" the musicians are, if it's boring it's boring...)
don't hurt me.
Posted by: kali | August 31, 2006 9:04 AM
don't hurt me.
he was cool in that cartoon
Posted by: Anonymous | August 31, 2006 9:16 AM
I think a lot of animation is better than many of the live action movies coming out today.
Loved The Incredibles. The original Hobbit and Lord of the Rings were cool. Fire and Ice.
I am more forgiving than many ... there are lots of things I liked about Heavy Metal, being a huge fan of the magazine. But there was plenty I didn't like. It was a hell of a lot better than Heavy Metal 2000 (or F.A.K.K. 2, if you want).
Posted by: Cullen | August 31, 2006 11:27 AM