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by Turtle Jones
It happened. The boat burned. Well, burned is really not a good word for it. It blew up hard. What you will figure out about this site if you stick around long enough is that some of us have common sense, but I don't. But, dude, it was funny.
If you don't know what I am talking about, read down a few posts to the Isaac thing we did tonight.
All my neighbors were out as I launched my boat. I lit the oars up on the little Viking boat and pushed it in the water.
Meh. This isn't working. Dumped more gas on it and planned on running back to take a pic.
But man! The little oars were burning and the water was on fire and everything was cool.
But, it wasn't cool enough. It needed more gas dumped in.
Hey dude, I took off my shirt to not get it in the water/gasoline. I was being careful. Safety first! The little lighters burned thru the bands and the gas was barely lit so I dumped about a gallon more of the gas on that motherfucker and it exploded. All over my chest. I walked back and my chest was put out while the boat was dumped over and crushed by my neighbors. The boat was over and the story was done. Meh, it was just getting good.
Man, that fucker blew up. It was fucking awesome. I had gas and lighter fluid on my chest burning away as my neighbors just looked and said "You are one dumb white boy". Patting me down. Kids cheering me on. Me feeling disappointed that I couldn't have seen it expoded from, well, maybe a few feet back?
But, for those few seconds, the USS Turtle floated!
And no, I am not drunk. I just can't do these kinda things when Michele is around. She has this crazy idea I'll get hurt or something.
So I'm sitting here wondering if I want to go to the hospital or if I just want to go to bed. Man, that blew up good, thou! That was a fire ball! 50 lighters covered in gasoline! Fuck the 4th of July! This blew the shit out of things! One big explosion that took me back a few feet! That was cool!
So the USS Turtle has sunk. Long may her glory reign. Remember her name next time you light a cigarette.
And try not to talk too much about this to Michele.
She doesn't dig it when I do this shit.
But it was funny, dude. - T