You know why he does this shit when I am sleeping? Because I am his Voice of Reason. And if I'm sleeping, he can't hear me.

Ask him about the burns on his chest. Just ask him.

Well, he's got about a month left in California. I guess he should get this stuff out of his system before the Voice of Reason is close enough to smack him upside the head when he gets these ideas.

Oh, and babe?

That is funny I was gonna say, better get it all out of your system now. Ha.

Still got your eyebrows?

He mentioned something about "not having to shave" today. I don't even want to know.

Punkerpoints +5

Eyebrows -1

I'm still here.

Less hair today, but still the same turtle

but man, that thing blew up real good

"Lo, there do I see my father...."

I can't begin to tell you how many stories I have that begin with "So, me and Jonny D. had some firecrackers...."

Oh wait... Maybe I just did....

Besides, who needs eyebrows to be pretty ?

i want to clarify that i still have eyebrows, dammit.

my nipples are just a little bit sensitive this morning but thats about it.

As I was telling michele last night, my family has a long tradition of blowing up things. I saw a pic from the 1800's with about 10 of my relatives. One in their was my great granddad, and my uncle, with three fingers blown of from his hands from making home made dynamite, was pointing to each one of them saying "He blew himself up" "Yeah he blew himself up, too" "Yeah, him too"

I'm not kidding. 7 out of the 10 blew themselves up.

It's in my blood, baby.

Great. The things i have to look forward to.

Pyros run in your family. Firemen run in mine. That kind of works out, I guess.

we aren't pyros

we just like to see things blow up

big difference there, babes

I like to see things blow up, too.

From a distance.

Seeing things blow up from the sending side of a mortar is pretty freakin' cool. Being on the receiving end of rocket attacks, not so cool.

well, my family was a bunch of miners or railroad workers or some weird combination. So they packed the dynamite. They made it. Hence, how I know how to make it, but since I don't want to die, I kinda stopped doing it when I was a kid. I can make small ones, but you really don't want to fuck around with that stuff and yes, that will not be taught to michele's kids.

unless I'm bored one night...

unless I'm bored one night...

Don't even.

Don't even.

i think all children should know the basics of making homemade explosives. Pipebombs packed with mothballs and shards of metal. M-80's made out of paper bags and crushed powder. TNT made with a few homemade materials.

Losing a finger isn't a bad thing.

It' a learning experience.

Your kids will thank me

Listen. I made molotov cocktails when I was a kid. It doesn't mean I'm passing that legacy onto my kids.

DJ is really into things blowing up. I don't think this is going to go my way.

As for Nat, save the explosives for when she is dating some guy I hate. Then we'll put them to good use.

Then DJ will learn TurtleFu if he gets me cigars one day when I am too lazy to get them for myself.

He doesn't need all ten fingers.

I mean come on. The hell do you use your pinky finger for anyways?

Hey, that kid is going to be my financial security in the future with the way he plays guitar. He needs those fingers.

not on his right hand

Eddie Van Halen only had two fingers. So did steve Vai. They both had a homo erotic TNT making experiment that was filmed.

Its on YouTube.

"Guitarists, Gay Sex and Things that go Gablooie!"

Check it out.

I'm really not into the gay sex part, but it's kinda funny watching them pick up eatch others fingers and try to match them to each others hands.

You are warped.

You are warped.

but I'm cute!

The best part about the film is when they match up fingers.

Talking "Apocalypse Now" type of dramatic movie

Watching them pull of condoms with stumpy hands while screaming about "I'll never play again! Oh christ! Where is my pinky!"

Genius. Pure genius.

Tommy Iommi is missing the tips of 2 (?) of his fingers... Just throwing gas on the fire. wakka, wakka.

see right there

if tommy iommi can play, your kid will learn how to make TNT

*buys an extra fire extinguisher*

Missing fingers + one of the greatest guitarists of all time = Django Reinhardt

see

once again michele

your kid will be learning how to make explosives

you people are not helping me.

"Guitarists, Gay Sex and Things that go Gablooie!"

Pure, comic gold.....

wasn't that guy from the dead missing fingers?

You all suck.

Guess I should go fireproof the cat or something.

see once again.....

guitarists can play without fingers

Hey think of this this way when it's winter and Turtle's bitching about how effing cold and dark it is you can tell him to go out and build a fire and he will be all happy!

Problem solver, thats me! At your service.

"Build a fire" does not equal "blow up the backyard."

just saying.

Wasn't it Jesus that said: Build a fire, keep a man warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Or something like that.

So where's the video???

Build a fire, keep a man warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.

If you love somebody better set them on fire?

So where's the video???

If there was one, I would have had it on youtube already.

ok dudes. I fucked up. I couldn't take a pic cause I was on fire. Could you give me a little break here?

If you love somebody better set them on fire?

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, set them on fire.

This appears to be an appropriate place for the "WARNING: Losing fingers today means less masturbating tomorrow" sign.

Hah. Good idea.