tastes just like chicken, they say
by Turtle Jones
We’re still thinking about food from this morning’s post. Well, we think about food a lot. I like food. Food tastes good. But not always. Sometimes you run into some bad food. Something that makes your stomach turn. Sometimes what you think is a bad food, someone else thinks is great. Like a cow’s eyeball. Don’t look at me, look at turtle. He’s the one who ate that.
turtle grosses you out first:
The grossest thing I ever ate was really more of a joke, I think. I'm still not sure if it was what an honor to eat it was. I was out at a ranch and we were BBQing up a cow and the eye was pulled out and handed to me. They all said it was an "honor" to be given the eyeball, so I chomped it back. Gooey and greasy with a exploding inside. I think they were just fucking with me, but meh, it's food. This is the reason hot sauce was made.
This has to be a joke.
Ok. I grew up eating it on Sunday's cause someone was too hungover to think. I don't know if it helps hangovers, all I know is chewing cow stomach is like watching Cher on acid. Something that you wonder why you are doing it, but have to keep going. Chew chew. Snapping turtle.
You really never know the feeling of pulling up a fish from a canal that will be your dinner while the fish is still choking on a half eaten drowned rat. Grandpa pulling out the rat telling you how this will be a good one. Oh god. That was bad.
I'll never fucking eat catfish again in my life.
What do I eat that no one else likes?
Imma gonna have to go with the helper. Hamburger Helper. No, it's not fucking poor people food and no, it's not ghetto food. This is sold everywhere and I love it. Don't mock me when you wake up in the morning and see me nailing back cold helper. I love it. Always have and always will. That's good stuff. And it's even good without the hamburger.
I love them. They are kind of cool. I'll do a story on "Frog Giggin" in a few days so you guys will know what is involved in the giggin' of the frogs. But, it's kind of fun to nail those little guys with a spear and throw them in a bag for grandma to pull apart. Those are good, dude.
That's right. Straight out of the tin. On some crackers and in front of the TV. That's a snack. You get a feeling of power as you shove those whole fishies back. "Please don't eat me!" I never stop laughing as I eat those. Plus, no one steals them from you while you are eating. Want to fuck your roommates up? Order a pizza with double anchovies. The party killer pizza. And it's what I like. - T
michele gets gross:
Gross foods. Really, I haven’t eaten a lot of gross things. I have refined dining tastes, I guess. Or picky. I’ve never tried pigs feet or lamb’s tongue or cow’s eyeballs. Then again, one person’s gross is another person’s delicacy. Like right now, I’m eating cottage cheese. I know that someone will gag upon reading that. Different strokes and all.
Gross foods I’ve eaten:
Egg Foo Yung: The grossest thing I ever tasted is something probably most of you like. I had this for the first time when I was about ten. My first thought was “this is like eating someone else’s snot.” Many years later I decided to give it another try. Mainly because the Chinese place got my order wrong and it was either starve or try it. I dug in. My first reaction: “this is like eating someone else’s snot.” And then I puked it back up.
Brussel Sprouts: Again, lame. I know. A lot of people like these guys. But to me, they are like little, feet-smelling balls of mush. The texture makes me gag. The smell makes me gag. The taste is so bad that even my dog wouldn’t eat them when I tried to sneak them off my plate and under the table to him.
Potted Meat: What the hell is this shit? I don’t even want to know the ingredients. But I do want to know why someone would purposefully eat something that looks like it came out of a baby’s diaper. Along with potted meat, there are vienna sausages (mmm..fat baby fingers), pork brains in milk gravy and, of course, Spam.
Gross foods I love:
Elvis sandwiches: I only tried this once. And I don’t know if it was an authentic Elvis sandwich or not. It was peanut butter, bacon, bananas and butter. Deep fried. Holy shit was that good. Sure, there was a fist of fat clenching my heart the whole night and grease was leaking out of my pores for days and I gained 100 lbs and found myself wearing a white jumpsuit and singing hunka huna burning love but sweet jesus, did that taste good.
Mom’s special dinner: Mom actually made this for dinner one night. She told dad it was a special treat. When she put it down on the table in front of him he just blinked. The rest of us dug in. Hot dogs, wrapped in bacon and cheese and deep fried, served over a bed baked beans, with sauerkraut on the side. Dad just kept staring at mom like she lost her mind. He wasn’t eating? More for us! Dad went out to eat and me and my sisters spent the rest of the night having a farting contest. -M
So that is our take on the weirdest, grossest and strangest food we have ever seen or seen being eating. You will notice that we waited before, or after, your lunchtime to post this.
Because we at FTTW care.
We are like that.
Enjoy your lunch and tell us what is the weirdest grossest and strangest food you have ate?
Clutch - Animal Farm