tastes just like chicken, they say
by Turtle Jones

We’re still thinking about food from this morning’s post. Well, we think about food a lot. I like food. Food tastes good. But not always. Sometimes you run into some bad food. Something that makes your stomach turn. Sometimes what you think is a bad food, someone else thinks is great. Like a cow’s eyeball. Don’t look at me, look at turtle. He’s the one who ate that.

So we’re gonna talk about gross food today. What’s the grossest thing you ever ate? What’s disgusting to you that’s normal to other people? Or what weird food combos do you eat that make other people look at you all weird like?

Notice how we waited til after lunch time to post this. We’re good like that. We always have our readers in mind. So get gross on us. Let’s talk about disgusting food.

turtle grosses you out first:

The Grossest?

Cow eyeball

The grossest thing I ever ate was really more of a joke, I think. I'm still not sure if it was what an honor to eat it was. I was out at a ranch and we were BBQing up a cow and the eye was pulled out and handed to me. They all said it was an "honor" to be given the eyeball, so I chomped it back. Gooey and greasy with a exploding inside. I think they were just fucking with me, but meh, it's food. This is the reason hot sauce was made.

Sea urchin

This has to be a joke.SeaUrchinRoe.jpg
I'm paying seven dollars to gag to get this food down? Trust me. I eat anything I have been given, but jesus christ man, make me work for my dinner. No amount of tobiko or wasabi could cover this taste. Jesus. There’s something wrong with this. I nailed them back and chased them down with water. No bueno. No more.


Ok. I grew up eating it on Sunday's cause someone was too hungover to think. I don't know if it helps hangovers, all I know is chewing cow stomach is like watching Cher on acid. Something that you wonder why you are doing it, but have to keep going. Chew chew. Snapping turtle.


You really never know the feeling of pulling up a fish from a canal that will be your dinner while the fish is still choking on a half eaten drowned rat. Grandpa pulling out the rat telling you how this will be a good one. Oh god. That was bad.

I'll never fucking eat catfish again in my life.

What do I eat that no one else likes?

Hamburger Helper

Imma gonna have to go with the helper. Hamburger Helper. No, it's not fucking poor people food and no, it's not ghetto food. This is sold everywhere and I love it. Don't mock me when you wake up in the morning and see me nailing back cold helper. I love it. Always have and always will. That's good stuff. And it's even good without the hamburger.

Frog legs

I love them. They are kind of cool. I'll do a story on "Frog Giggin" in a few days so you guys will know what is involved in the giggin' of the frogs. But, it's kind of fun to nail those little guys with a spear and throw them in a bag for grandma to pull apart. Those are good, dude.


sardines.gifThat's right. Straight out of the tin. On some crackers and in front of the TV. That's a snack. You get a feeling of power as you shove those whole fishies back. "Please don't eat me!" I never stop laughing as I eat those. Plus, no one steals them from you while you are eating. Want to fuck your roommates up? Order a pizza with double anchovies. The party killer pizza. And it's what I like. - T

michele gets gross:

Gross foods. Really, I haven’t eaten a lot of gross things. I have refined dining tastes, I guess. Or picky. I’ve never tried pigs feet or lamb’s tongue or cow’s eyeballs. Then again, one person’s gross is another person’s delicacy. Like right now, I’m eating cottage cheese. I know that someone will gag upon reading that. Different strokes and all.

Gross foods I’ve eaten:

Egg Foo Yung: The grossest thing I ever tasted is something probably most of you like. I had this for the first time when I was about ten. My first thought was “this is like eating someone else’s snot.” Many years later I decided to give it another try. Mainly because the Chinese place got my order wrong and it was either starve or try it. I dug in. My first reaction: “this is like eating someone else’s snot.” And then I puked it back up.

Brussel Sprouts: Again, lame. I know. A lot of people like these guys. But to me, they are like little, feet-smelling balls of mush. The texture makes me gag. The smell makes me gag. The taste is so bad that even my dog wouldn’t eat them when I tried to sneak them off my plate and under the table to him.

pottedmeat.jpgGross foods I would never eat.

Potted Meat: What the hell is this shit? I don’t even want to know the ingredients. But I do want to know why someone would purposefully eat something that looks like it came out of a baby’s diaper. Along with potted meat, there are vienna sausages (mmm..fat baby fingers), pork brains in milk gravy and, of course, Spam.

Gross foods I love:

Elvis sandwiches: I only tried this once. And I don’t know if it was an authentic Elvis sandwich or not. It was peanut butter, bacon, bananas and butter. Deep fried. Holy shit was that good. Sure, there was a fist of fat clenching my heart the whole night and grease was leaking out of my pores for days and I gained 100 lbs and found myself wearing a white jumpsuit and singing hunka huna burning love but sweet jesus, did that taste good.

hotdogs.jpgMom’s special dinner: Mom actually made this for dinner one night. She told dad it was a special treat. When she put it down on the table in front of him he just blinked. The rest of us dug in. Hot dogs, wrapped in bacon and cheese and deep fried, served over a bed baked beans, with sauerkraut on the side. Dad just kept staring at mom like she lost her mind. He wasn’t eating? More for us! Dad went out to eat and me and my sisters spent the rest of the night having a farting contest. -M

So that is our take on the weirdest, grossest and strangest food we have ever seen or seen being eating. You will notice that we waited before, or after, your lunchtime to post this.

Because we at FTTW care.

We are like that.

Enjoy your lunch and tell us what is the weirdest grossest and strangest food you have ate?

Clutch - Animal Farm


I love potted meat. And your deep fried bacon weenie sounds great.

The grossest thing I've had to eat was probably fried chicken. No, hear me out. It was a meal I had at an Afghan warlord's digs. And these chickens looked more like pigeons. And they were deep fried with the head and feet and everything. Feathers plucked and then dropped in oil. That's it. Disgusting.

I've had rocky mountain oysters and the chicken was worse than that.


I love Hamburger Helper too! Anybody who doesn't love it is evil in my eyes.


Totally the non-pickiest eater in the universe here.

Catfish - Love it.
Hamburger Helper - Love it.
Frog legs - Love 'em.
Sardines - Love 'em.
Egg Foo Yong - Love it.
Potted meat - Love it.
Elvis sandwiches - Love 'em.
Mom's special dinner - Sounds awesome!

About the only thing I will not eat (and I've tried twice) is seaweed.


'weirdest' food I've eaten would probably be Rocky Mountain Oysters. And I liked them actually.

My friend would not try them. 'No balls,' I said. Wakka Wakka.

Food I hate that most people seem to like: olives. I don't even like them in martinis. And nothing ruins a pizza like black olives. But that's just me.

I like frogs legs and catfish, especially served together in a basket with gator tail, while sitting next to a river in Florida with a budwieser and a juke box loaded with Hank and Johnny Cash. But again, that's just me.


i do NOT eat:
brussel sprouts
chorizo (it's sausage made from the shit that central and south americans won't eat -- that should tell you something)

raw oysters
sushi (anything but octopus)
fried chicken liver

and godDAMNit another thing i miss about helLA are the bacon wrapped hotdogs from the cart at 2 in the morning.


eeewww gross i just looked up rocky mountain oysters....


Rocky Mountain Oysters, Mountain Oysters or Prairie Oysters are culinary names given to calf or bull testicles.


I think the grossest thing I ever tried to eat, emphasis on tried, was pickled pigs feet.

Oh my god that was just gross.

At least the rocky mountain oysters tasted good.


my mother tried to get me to eat pickled pigs feet when i was little. after i gagged three times, she gave up.

Another gross food is those cocktail onions that look like eyeballs. I think I just have a problem with food textures. Slimy = no bueno.


canned smoked oysters. blach. I like mine bbqd in the shell thanks. The awful bread i grew up eating, the Pritikin cardboard bread. that shits just gross. Everything that comes out of the lake here in Klamath, it all tastes like mud. I haven't eaten very much weird stuff. I flat out refuse on the prairie oysters. The grossest things i ever had to eat was the crap i tried to cook for myself. lol. And tripas burritos. oh thats nasty. Whole wheat spaghetti, totally gross, spaghetti shouldn't be slimy. And finally, my stepmom had rentals in Simi valley with persimmon trees. So one year we had persimmons coming out our asses, just about, and she put them in and on EVERYTHING. I'll never eat another one. EVER.


Foggy's Notion on Sports Arena Blvd in San Diego had a "Jiffy Burger" on their menu, which was a cheeseburger with Peanut Butter on it.

Sofa King Tasty.


Have you seen this thing?

That's a deep fried cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme donut as the bun.

This is the height of grossness:

a generous serving of our creamy mashed potatoes, sweet kernel corn, bite size pieces of all-white meat crispy chicken, topped with our homestyle gravy and 3-cheese blend.

That's sumo food.


the Glove needs love


on an unrelated note

does anyone enjoy eating calamari, the little baby one, while thinking "oh no! please don't eat me!"

I'm kinda sadistic when it comes to food



I don't know about that Krispy Kreme thing but I gotta say, that KFC bowl of fat always sounded good. I never had one of those, but they looked good on TV, even though I'm sure one bowl is equal to 10 pounds on the scale...


Saw this on the road once... Couldn't get up the balls to try it....

And, for the record, I love calamari.....


Google "Steve don't eat it" for the diary of a guy who has tried some of the nastiest shit known to man and survived.
with photos!


Oh, that's the sneeze.

One of the funniest sites you'll ever read. The "Steve Don't Eat It" archives are here . He ate potted meat.


One word: balut


Wow. I really should not have clicked that link while I already had a stomach ache.


Chocolate chip and Worm Cookies.

I was doing a science fair project on how some cultures eat insects and they're good protein, yadda, yadda. And, I found a recipe for Worm cookies.

The recipe said to boil the worms, but we did them in the microwave instead. They burst and shriveled up, just like skinny bacon.

Grossest tasting food is cantalope, hands down. My throat will close up if I put in my mouth.

Grossest Smelling food is homemade Brick cheese. My grandparents are from Oshkosh, Wisconsin and they know a lot of the old-style dairy farmers. You get the real thing, aged for months and made from raw unpasturized milk, and you have to bury it outside, the smell is so bad.

And, since we're talking about Wisconsin traditions, the only way to serve Bratwurst is to boil it in beer and onions and throw it on the grill for a few minutes. Perfect.


They burst and shriveled up, just like skinny bacon.

That made me laugh.

And canteloupe rules.


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