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vlad the impaler by tonkin
by A Guest Author
When I was a kid, we'd party in the woods... Just for reason's like Tonkin describes below... By the way... Ouch....
I was at a party at a friend's house where there were about 200 people, the bulk of whom were underage, including myself. You know when there are get togethers in affluent neighborhoods the police always show up.
Well I am good and drunk - it's the middle of the summer so we're all outside on the back patio - and the house we're at butts right up to a rather steep ravine.
Someone yells "COPS" so we scatter - I have two friends with me and I'm leading them through the woods along the ravine. We come up to a wooden picket fence and I boost my two friends over the fence and then climb it myself. Then I look around. We had climbed INTO some asshole's fenced-in backyard.
FUCK I say. So we run to the other side of the guy's backyard and I boost my friends over the fence, this time when they go over the side I hear "aaaaaaahhhhh, *thud*" both times.
I shrug it off, and start climbing the fence. I'm a bit tipsy and my balance isn't great, and I go to push off with my foot and three of the pickets break and I end up straddling the fence, and another picket impales me in the inner thigh, then it breaks off in my leg, and I fall off the fence... and roll down the fucking ravine.
At some point the fucking shank of wood has been dislodged from my leg, and as I lay there, bleeding and disoriented, at the bottom of the ravine, I hear my friends say "HOLY SHIT, are you okay?"
They picked me up and helped me back to the party, which was dead at this point, and got me cleaned up and I finished my binge where I left off.