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Buy Me Something! by
+336+ is able to receive SMS sent from a mobile phone. The messages appear as luminous text, running on the mirrors’ surface when one gets close to the mirror. We've no idea when it might be in production, but you can just get your butts to the back of the line, because we saw it first!
It is reported that 50% of people in London are worried about security and sleep with some form of self-defence to hand, for use against intruders. The 'Safe Bedside Table' has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defence. This is for people who are willing to take on an intruder, providing an extra sense of security whilst in bed. So, let us get this straight... You're asleep. You hear glass breaking. You drag yourself from the blissful depths of sleep (something that typically takes both a shower, and the oral equivalent of a coffee enema) determine the sanctity of your domicile is in danger, and start dismantling your bedside table. Should the perpetrator of the aforesaid glass break come upon you during the dismantling process, odds are good he would be perplexed enough to allow you to smash the entire apparatus over his head. Or he might offer to lend a hand, seeing as how he now has all your tools. Either way, this is a ridiculous solution. And is making this face at your perpetrator really going to engender fear? Fear of wetting their pants during their ensuing giggling fit, perhaps...
There, that should damage your personal bank account balances/credit limits sufficiently for one week. Savings...we don't need no steenking savings!
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Comments
Good column..... I gotta get me one of them safe tables, put on the wifebeater, leave the door unlocked and wait....
Posted by: Dan | September 21, 2006 10:31 AM
Oh. My. God.
You are the master of showing me shit I didn't know I needed!
I'll take one defender bedside table, but I'd like the one with a studded leather handle and nails pounded through it. That is SO cool. When the intruder gets a load of a bleary-eyed boy with bedhair wielding a barbarian club and shield they'll get the hell out!
The HK speakers look like a sex toy. I think they got slipped into the wrong column. Kali's was posted earlier today.
Posted by: Bob | September 21, 2006 10:35 AM
Technology is indubitably sexy. Just remember to UNplug them before you, er, use them.
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 10:38 AM
i need those aluminum mirrors...
and a sugar daddy.
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 10:40 AM
I like that bag. I'd feel like such a bad-ass walking around with that. I wish I owned some guns to carry around in it.
Posted by: Ernie | September 21, 2006 10:40 AM
Note the room view on the mirrors link...they *always* use more than one set, just to make us feel inadquate should we only order one. Bastards.
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 10:43 AM
yes i noticed. always. fucking capitalists. ;)
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 10:49 AM
Um. What is SMS?
Capitalism rocks.
Posted by: Cullen | September 21, 2006 10:53 AM
SMS is Short Message Service, basically text messages from your cellphone.
And yes, capitalism is good... but accessory extortion is not.
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 10:55 AM
accessory extortion... ahahah.
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 11:09 AM
Holy shit. That bag. I want it.
*clicks link*
Holy shit. 780 dollars.
Well, the speakers are kinda cool.
Posted by: michele | September 21, 2006 11:14 AM
my only accessories are me shoes.
guys get off lucky
well, I guess my dog counts as an accessory, but since I haven't seen her in a few hours, maybe not
maybe she is a part time accessory?
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 11:16 AM
Dude. Capitalism is evil.
(he says as he sits at his desk at a large aircraft manufacturer sipping a quad shot of espresso from a large coffee chain, eating a cinnamon roll, with name brand japanese earbuds stuck in listening to punk rock)
Uhm, well, I...I'm such a sell out. Damn.
Posted by: Bob | September 21, 2006 11:19 AM
bob i covet your quad shot.
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 11:24 AM
Capitalism sucks
thats why I only drink "billy Beer"
wait....
i stopped drinking.....
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 11:29 AM
Savings...we don't need no steenking savings!
He who dies with the most toys wins.....
Posted by: thefinn | September 21, 2006 11:32 AM
Capitalism is not evil, dammit. *Consumerism* is ev...
Oh, damn, who are we kidding. Consumerism rawks!
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 11:32 AM
to market a product of your association with the president of the USA and your alcoholism at the same time
pure....
fucking....
genesis...
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 11:32 AM
Quad. Yeah.
I used to get three shots in an Americano, ya know, filled the rest with hot water.
Then I would say to the nice girl behind the counter, always spunky and usually with a ponytail and perky smile, "Put in three shots, three fingers of water and an ice cube so it's not too hot."
She stared. She blinked a couple a times.
I had to explain to her that "three fingers" meant like three fingers of whiskey in a glass, and that it was in no way making reference to her anatomy below the belt.
She stared. She blinked a couple a times.
She explained she wasn't old enough to be a bartender. Ugh.
So I invented the 4-4-2. Four shots, four fingers of water and 2 ice cubes. It rocks.
Stop by and I'll buy ya one.
Posted by: Bob | September 21, 2006 11:35 AM
I thought "pure genesis" was what they dropped on that dead planet in "Wrath of Khan".... :)
Posted by: thefinn | September 21, 2006 11:35 AM
He who dies with the most toys wins.....
Yes, as proudly proclaimed in our tagline:
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 11:36 AM
Pure Genesis is what comes out when you squeeze Phil Collins REAL hard.
Posted by: Bob | September 21, 2006 11:37 AM
Pure Genesis is what comes out when you squeeze Phil Collins REAL hard.
Oh dear, we think we tinkled ourselves...
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 11:38 AM
I knew I saw that somewhere.... Damn....
And Genesis without Peter Gabriel is not Genesis....
Posted by: thefinn | September 21, 2006 11:41 AM
dammit...
i hate it when i spell something wrong...
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 11:45 AM
Capitalism sucks
Don't make me go Alexander Hamilton on your ass.
Posted by: Cullen | September 21, 2006 11:47 AM
"i hate it when i spell something wrong..."
dude. that one was awesome. pure genesis. i'm still laughing.
i'm having a 4-4-2 today. i swear it.
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 11:57 AM
oh bite me
hey!
Little House is on!
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 12:02 PM
btw
that sms mirror scares the shit out of me
last thing i want when i am waking up is to see my boss asking me "why did I leave work early?"
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 12:04 PM
We cannot emphasize this enough...you have to have PRIORITIES in life. :)
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 12:13 PM
I'm leaving work to find someone who'll buy me those killer shoes.
Posted by: Melodi | September 21, 2006 12:21 PM
Posted by: michele | September 21, 2006 12:22 PM
Do whatever you must...PRIORITIES, people!
Posted by: Factoids | September 21, 2006 12:32 PM
ok
you beat me on that pic
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 12:33 PM
I thought Phil Collins was what happened when you squeezed Peter Gabriel too hard.
Posted by: Cullen | September 21, 2006 12:35 PM
Cullen:
If it were not for Phil Collins, who would do the Disney movie music?
Matchbox Twenty?
The Dwarves?
Ohhh. The Dwarves.
The latest Disney animated film, "The Little Submissive" with the hit single "On Your Knees Bitch" by The Dwarves.
Yes?
Posted by: Bob | September 21, 2006 12:39 PM
If it were not for Phil Collins, who would do the Disney movie music?
Sting, apparently.
Posted by: Cullen | September 21, 2006 12:41 PM
oh my god this is better than a chat board!
that fttw pic is pure steve hackett!
Posted by: kali | September 21, 2006 12:53 PM
Now you're talking. Hackett left Genesis right before I saw them (78, I think).
Posted by: michele | September 21, 2006 1:00 PM
i personally like "fuck you and and get Bambis ass" by the dwarves
Posted by: the turtle | September 21, 2006 1:23 PM