Chased by a Lion
by Jay Scott

Now for a little story that went down a few years back,

Here is the true story: I used to be an editor for TV spots at a production company. Our office was at the Santa Monica Airport, which is a very cool place to work. Anyhoohaw. I'm outside near the tarmac smoking, like I always do. About 200 feet away is this corner that leads to some hangers. So, I'm by myself, smoking, and I see a LION. Yes, a fucking huge ginaormous African Lion turning the corner, full stride, running at me. Pissed off too. I just stand there.

So, see, my brain doesn’t process this fast enough, and I just stare, still taking a drag. Now 3 feet behind me is 2 double doors i could just walk through, lion keychain.jpgbut back to me not thinking. So, the lobby full of people is watching, I don’t see this, I just stand there with this WTF look, trying to figure it out. The lion, who's dragging a chain behind itself, is just, well, headed right for me. So, I, for no reason, flick my cigarette and think, is that really a lion? Everyone else seemed to think I was going to throw down, or something. So, he's less than 15-20 feet from me and WHAM, he hits the ground.

The trainers got a hold of the chain and dropped him. So there I am still trying to figure it out, and then I just turn around, see about 40 people looking at me, and I, get this, shrug. Yup. They just stare at me, and I go back to my office. Then it hits me and I couldn’t walk for about an hour, I was just stunned. Buttttttt.. I was forever known as the guy who stared down a lion. Cause nobody knew I was just too stupid to run, or stunned. Now talk about fear, have a scared, pissed off lion come at you, with nothing but open space between it and you and see what happens.

Turns out they were shooting something in one of the hangers, and the lion was spooked by a jet and bolted. How nice for me. But, I didn’t run. Only because I was a deer in the headlights, it just worked out that nobody could see, and I looked cool standing there with a smoke…..


Only in LA.



that's cool. That's when you need to find a hot lady and hit on her.


Cool story.


Whew. Time to find Jesus, man.


Bar. Drink(s). Lady. Lottery ticket. In that order.


dude. great visual. you staring down a lion, casually flicking youre cigarette aside. looking, as you say, like you're about to go toe to toe with tony.

and then he gets dropped.


i hope you got laid offa that.


Hey, thanks for the great comments. I think I tell it better in person, but wanted to have a go at posting one of my favorite stopries from my life. Another time I'll tell the one about the angry Zebra that ended in a Benny Hill style chase.


DUUUuuuude. That was great!!

It matters what you do when other people are watching.

Even though you might crawl back to your office and puke for half an hour, you totally put on the race face for the people watching you watching the lion.

That was so rad.

If you go down as The One who Stared At the Lion, NO ONE will fuck with ya. No. One.

It's like my wife said to my son his first day of day-care: "The first day, you gotta knife somebody. Sure, you'll do some time in The Box, but they will respect you."


bwahaha bob that's what i'm gonna tell my (imaginary) kid!


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