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by Michele Christopher
Because another site has the ability to ban me when I start one of these threads, we decided to find out where our readers allegiances are. We are not talking about anything serious here; we just need to get this out of the way it is before our new site premieres next Monday. Might as well figure who has good taste buds and who is just weird.
This is pie war.
This got both Michele and I banned on other sites before, but since this is our site, who really cares?
Yes, this will get ugly.
turtle gets in his taxi
Apple pie. What else can you say? Don't ask me about the thing in Taxi Driver with the slice of cheddar cheese. That sounds so god damn gay it makes Gene Simmons look like Richard Simmons. Cheddar cheese. On pie. hm.
But I always called everyone who ate any other type of pie weird. No, I'm not all American and no I don't like baseball but yes, I like apple pie. And sex. Having sex after eating a piece of apple pie in some god-forsaken island in New York is pretty close to heaven.
Or maybe it was just Friday night.
All I know is I want it again.
But, that's beside the point.
All I know is apple pie is a sign of supremacy and victory. The Ice cream on top is like putting the flag on the moon for the Apollo astronauts.
Apple pie, to me, is like life.
Well, more like a game of "Hungry Hungry Hippos".
When you eat apple pie, it;s like you are playing a game of "Hungry Hungry Hippos" with the Orange Hippo. You are the Orange Hippo. The Hippo of Strength and Power. Courage and Wisdom. Someone who likes pumpkin pie can be the Pink Hippo. The Hippo of Weakness. Cowardice.
I will eat more balls than you. I will be the ball eater. God, that sounds kinda gay, but anyways, my Orange Hippo will show your Hippo the flaws in your pie-eating plan.
If you want something weird like Mincemeat. you might as well be the fucking Green Hippo. Otherwise know as "France". The Surrender Hippo. Make no mistakes, mien readers, pie wars are evil. The Green Hippo will always lose.
If you sit down after a large meal and someone offers you a piece of Blackberry pie, they are insulting you. Not only insulting you, but challenging the Orange Hippo. The Hippo of Strength and Power. Courage and Wisdom. I'll eat it. But as long as I can look in your eyes and let you have that gaze.
That "you lost to the Orange Hippo" gaze.
Join me or die at my feet.
I think I have too much time on my hands. - T
michele breaks her cherry:
Anyhow, I have to go with my second choice pie here. Which really isn’t a bad thing.
First, I gotta say, don’t try to give me a cherry pie made with that canned filling. Like that crap they give you at iHop for your pancakes. What is that called? Oh, compote. No bueno. I’m not eating a compote pie. I want pitted, sour cherries. The tangy ones. The kind of tang that makes your mouth salivate just thinking about it.
One fresh slice of cherry pie. I want to slide it into my mouth and get that satisfying, tantalizing feel of my juices starting to flow. And then to bite down into it, feel my teeth press against the soft flesh of the cherry and then the orgasmic explosion of flavor as the cherry bursts and its juices ooze over my tongue and down my throat. Lick the excess of my lips and dive in for another taste.
The only thing that could make that any better would be to have a hot, naked
Swingin' in there 'cause
Hot damn, that’s good pie.
We take our pies very seriously here at FTTW. Like turtle mentioned, this has gotten us a timeout on the forums of another site because these pie wars, well, they get vicious.
Name your pie. And be prepared to defend it.