Ten Quick Questions with Jen Graham of Metal Blade Records
by Michele Christopher
Jen Graham does radio promotion for Metal Blade Records
1. Who are you?
It depends on what day it is...some days I am a Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator, some days I like to refer to myself as a TPS report that is read by 8 different bosses...but most of the time I am a flesh and blood human that works at Metal Blade Records and goes by the name of Jen Graham, and I pimp heavy metal albums to radio station programmers all day long.
Man, I miss White Zombie. Their 1996 tour opening for Pantera was one of the best shows I have seen in my life.
3. Young Elvis or Fat Elvis?
Dude, I saw fat Elvis at the bar/lounge at Barbary Coast in Vegas while imbibing a gratuitous amount of 2 dollar cocktails. It was more amazing than watching him play while imbibing gratuitous amounts of 3 dollar cocktails...if you can believe that.
4. If you were a superhero, what would your name be?
Captain Jeneral PentaGraham, esq. I really dont know what "esq." means, but it sounds cool.
5. You are the last man on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates is between Wonder Woman, the Bionic Woman, Super Girl or Hilary Clinton. Which one do you choose?
Oh man, I would get with Wonder Woman all the way. I used to have a WW costume back in the day and I wanted to be her with all her sexy super powers and stuff. On that note, it would probably turn into an awesome role playing fantasy thing. So by all means, LET'S QUIT FUCKIN AROUND AND GET DOWN TO SOME SWEET PROCREATIN'!
Or: You are the last woman on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates: Batman, Superman, Wolverine or Stephen Hawking. Which one do you choose?
Oh shit....I didn't see this part of the question until I finished the first part. Here I was thinking..well if I was a lesbian...and all those chicks were lesbians...who would I go for? I'm really not a lesbian...I mean, I have tested the waters and stuf...uh, ok nevermind, back to the question. Wolverine...yeah, Hugh Jackman is hot.
One of the biggest hooptie rides of all time. A 1987 beige Toyota mini van. It was the coolest mother fucking thing on the planet. You think its lame, but when you are speeding down the freeway while 12 drunk people mosh around in it while blasting Machine Head's 'Burn My Eyes', your typical opinion of the 1987 beige Toyota mini van is thrown out the window. You are now in a righteous party-mobile and never want to get out of it.
The Candy Cat in Chatsworth. It's awesome. 8 dollar pitchers, darts, pool, and friendly topless dancers. Good jukebox too.
8. What's the last album you bought?
Korpiklaani's "Tales Along This Road". If you made a big fat stew, threw in a metal band, a polka band, and an Irish drinking music band and ate the entire pot of it, you would crap out Korpiklaani. No joke. The first track is called "Happy Little Boozer"....nuff said.
9. Do you have an arch enemy? Would you like one?
Sharky's Mexican Food in Simi Valley, CA. I am not going to explain why...I think you can all figure it out.
10. What's the title of the movie they are going to make about your teenage years?
Free Beer & Chicken
Jen Graham holds the world's record for "most drunk people stuffed in a min-van", formerly held by the Osbourne family.
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