Drug addictions will destroy any band faster than anything else can come close to touching. Trust me on this one. Drugs will kill a band real fast. Well, not real fast, but slowly. This is something I have to say and write about. I'm not expecting a lot of comments on this one and really, I don't care. Casualties are a way of life when you are in a band. You lose people and sometimes it's drugs that kill them. See, it's kinda sad to find out that one of your friends didn't get out. But you cry your tears and move to the next day. There is not a whole lot I can say on this one.

I had a good friend die on my ass. Michele knows where he has been with us and what he has done for us and what he has done for me. All I can say is Today Sucks Bad. But, since this won't go up til tomorrow, I really don't care. It's just something I had to say for his memory.

Last night I found out a friend of mine had died.

He never got out.

I know this isn't the typical Underground, but it is something I have to do for him. Sure, I haven't seen him for 10 years, but it still hurt me.

This is what I wrote last night when I heard the news, and this is still the way I feel.

This is a new one and this one just hit me.

It's a little off for tonight but I just thought of it. RIP to someone who had helped me and will always be remembered in my heart. He did a lot for us and he died. He was a good man. I respected him and he was only doing what was best for us. He died earlier this weekend. Rest in peace my friend. Tears dripped from my eyes when I heard this tonight. He did alot. And he was cool. He pushed us forward and he used his influence because he saw something in us. He took us farther than we ever thought we could go.

Let's move on.

People who help you.

Well hell. You have to learn fast that you need this. Getting anywhere is not gonna get any closer unless you take a good look around. You need them. This might be the most emotional Underground ever. Lucky you guys get to read it. Sure, you treat them like shit and they are looked down on by some but sometimes they are your fucking life.

Wait.

Not sometimes.

They are your fucking life.

Always.

I'm not going to candy coat this bullshit. If they leave, you are fucked. That's all there is to it. It's fucking brutal but that's the way it is. Without them, it ends right now. Well, not ends, but it is really hurt. And hell, they are all your friends.

So tonight's is dedicated to the roadies, the people who plug you, the people who do things they don't have to do for you. They do it cause they see something in you. They don't like the long nights in a van. They don't like hooking shit up in the dark. Fuck, I've done it and it is a shit job. Putting shit together in the backstage. Holding together a drum riser and making it sit flat. Stealing cement curbs to put in front of drums so they don't move. Watching for the asshole in the crowd who wants to destroy things.

This post is dedicated to them

I'm far from perfect. I know I bag on guitarists. I know I bag on singers and I make fun of the bands, but really none would make it thru it one more day without someone who put this set together. See this is what makes it so cool. You hook it up, I play, we split the money and get food. See, that's cool. We just keep going. You have ideas and I do too. I have no idea sometimes where I'm going with this, but i need to say I have seen your sweat and I have seen your tears and I know what you have done to get us here.

When you see someone stiching up his hand cause he was cut stopping someone from crashing into the drums looking up at you with string pulling out of his finger asking where do we go next, you kind of have to think about things.

When you have someone who is willing to take your shit while you are having some kinda tantrum about not being in your bed and smile to tell you "the floor ain't that hard", that's something.

You have to think. Some of these motherfuckers can take a lot more than me.

So you have all my respect.

I remember nights when someone would sit and just stare at the drummer. That was his job. Just look at him from the crowd. Just so the drummer could snag a familair face and stare in it. Let his mind and skills go. Just to look. No words. Just a look. Stare. Keep going.Turn off the world and stare. Just hold together. Just turn off the world and play. I don't care who he looked at, but it had to be a face in the crowd. Someone who they knew. Some concrete.

And you know what?

That shit worked.

When you can walk away before a show and really know that things will be alright when you get back that night, that's a roadie. See, that's trust. When you don't have to worry about anything but getting extra hot sauce. That is when you have given full trust to one of the greatest people on the earth.

The roadie.

Without you we have nothing. Get it?

Thank you to anyone who has ever has put a drum kit together with no stage lights on.

Thank you to anyone tuning a bass in the dark of a stage.

Thank you to anyone being my friend and tuning my bass when I have been a total asshole.

Thank you to anyone who spent time with me in a van when I was bitching about this or that.

In short.

Thank you my friend.

You got us where we needed to go.

And I'll see you in in the next world.

You aren't getting away from me that easily you dumb son of a bitch.

I got strings to tune, you know. - T

RIP Dizzy Dee

next week the Underground won't be so damn depressing

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