Just Desserts
by Michele Christopher

Welcome to another week of Editor's Picks.

I guess we're still thinking about yesterday's cheesecake and apple pie and the fifteen other desserts that were on the table. All I know is that when turtle and I go back to my mom's for leftovers later on, there better be some of the good stuff left. Fuck the turkey. I want PIE.

So now that we are in dessert mode, our editor's picks for this weekend are.....go figure......favorite desserts!

gets sweet on ya:blueberry.jpg

I like this topic. Quick and easy.

1. Apple pie. Preferably with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.
2. Blueberry pie. Preferably with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.
3. Chocolate pudding pie. Whipped cream. Hold the ice cream.
4. Pecan pie. With ice cream. Hold the whipped cream.
5. Cheesecake. Mom's cheesecake is good, but I prefer Italian cheesecake.
6. Cannolis. Leave the gun.
7. For certain days of the month only: Anything with the words "death by chocolate" in name.
8. Whipped cream. Hold everything. Add a body to lick it off of.


thefinn get serious...

I don’t play around when it comes to dessert. Even after a big meal, I always make sure to save a little room for the good stuff. You might even say it’s my favorite course. Ice cream always goes over big, as does damn near anything with chocolate in it. But I have a list of three things that no “holiday” dinner should be without.

I – Chocolate Pie. Whether it be Mom’s (with pudding made in an iron skillet, a freshly baked crust and a tub of Cool Whip) or something I grabbed from the diner on the way home (twelve inches high and twelve inches across), Chocolate Pie is an absolute must. Cold, creamy and just a little bit dark and perfect with a cup o’ joe.

terminis.jpgII – Chocolate Chip Cookie. There are two kinds of chocolate chip cookies. The right kind and the kind that are nastier than licking the Devil’s ass… When the cookies are done right, they’re still a little warm and buttery, the chocolate is soft, but not runny and the dough is just barely cooked. When they’re hard and crunchy, they’re right out. It may be a cookie, (and some cookie is better that no cookie), but no cookie is better than a hard, nasty one.

III – Termini’s Cannoli. Notice how I didn’t say “cannoli”. These are not your garden variety cannoli. These are your Grandmother’s cannoli, if she was the greatest fucking pastry chef that ever lived. Crunchy and crispy shells made from fried pasta and a filling made of sweetened ricotta. I honestly can’t tell you what the guys at Termini’s add that the other guys don’t, but I can tell you that every year around the holidays, they have a line that stretches down the block from open to close. They sell thousands of cannoli a day right before any festive occasion and an hour or two in line is a small price to pay for something that good.


turtle gets sneaky and paranoid

What can you say. It's that time of year and you know there is going to be dessert. I hate dessert. Well, that's not entirely true. I don't hate dessert, I hate the concept of it. The fucking rules drive me insane. The traditional bullshit. You have to eat this shit before you get to the good stuff. You have to endure a few more hours of family time to get some of that goodness.

There is always some old guy around too. Always wants his own pie or cake that no one has tasted since America hit the Industrial Revolution. I mean fuck, what the hell is mincemeat pie anyways?

I'll tell you what it is. It's an old trick used by people who want you to stay off their shit. When I used to order a pizza when I lived in band houses, I always got double anchovies on mine. No one ate that shit. This is the "stay off my shit" theory. You can see it in use anywhere. From hotels to restaurants to bowling alleys to pool halls. You can also see the "stay off my shit" theory in use on any globe you see. Ever wonder why Greenland is all ice and Iceland is nice and green? That's the "stay of my shit" theory.hostesspppp.jpg

So why bother with the bullshit?

Well, I don't. I don't need any one's dessert. I always bring my backup.

Hostess Brand Snack Cakes.

Shove a few of these in your pockets and be no ones slave to their dessert. Be your own person and eat the Hostess. Although this does toss some problems into the "stay off my shit" theory, I find a few well placed sneezes on your Hostess Brand Snack Cakes will generally keep about 90 percent of the people away from your dessert. Those other ten percent are usually kids and their taste buds have not yet been dulled because of over consumption of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, so a well placed drop of Rooster Sauce tends to dramatically increase the number of crying babies who refused to stay off your shit and gives a gentle reminder that they need to stay off your shit.

So in the end, what did we learn?

A) The "stay off my shit" theory is still going strong today
B) Families are not worth sticking around for
C) Their desserts sometimes suck
D) It's fun to put hot sauce on your food to burn little kids mouths

- T

So those are our favorite holiday desserts and well anytime desserts. Pretty simple and easy. Although some of ours have some weird detailed theories in them, we would like to hear your favorite desserts.

So what are they?


Boston Cream Pie. Yeah. It's the Boston cream that makes it good.


I have chocolate pie but it's a pie shell with a ton of chocolate chips baked onto the bottom. Awesome.


just plain cheesecake kicks ass, too


I have chocolate pie but it's a pie shell with a ton of chocolate chips baked onto the bottom. Awesome.

that made my mouth water.


Without starting a pie war, I like pumpkin pie. With some whipped cream. Also like apple pie too. And my Wife makes a pie called tollhouse pie which is really like a great big cookie. Super good.

For cookies my favorite are those peanut butter ones with the hershey kiss on top 'sombreros' I think they are called. I could eat about 75 of those things. Sure I'd be sick for the rest of the day, but it'd be worth it.


No pie wars. That is treading dangerous waters around here.

Though, I am eating pumpkin pie for breakfast.

Even though apple pie is my favorite.


Funny you mention pie for breakfast michele, I ate half a cherry pie for lunch yesterday. I prefer cobblers to pies though. And cheesecake, as long as it's real and not one of those Jell-o or Royal brand instant ones.


I'm with you on cobblers, Mike.


peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream


Michele, here's a recipe for my pie

Apparently it's called Toll House Pie, but it should probably just be called "shitload of chocolate with some pie in there."


dude. this is so sad....i can't even think of what my favourite dessert would be. does it have sugar? alright! sign me up!

chocodiles and lemon meringue pie seem to top the list, though. not together necessarily, either...


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