One Time At The Video Store
by Rockstar Mommy
When my daughter was about 18 months old, we would take daily trips to the local Blockbuster to rent movies because we're bad, bad Netflix returners and apparently the concept of "Watch it, Wrap It, Put It In The Mailbox, And New One Comes" is just way beyond our grasp.
There were two men standing on either side of us; both had looks on their face that I found hard to distinguish. Was it confusion? Concern? Disdain? Or was it just that dumbfounded, pissed off look that everyone gets when standing in Blockbuster that says, I said I was going to stop coming here 36 visits ago when they still had nothing to rent. Why the hell am I back here? Now I have to pick between Cool As Ice or Krush Groove. Neither one of these are going to get me laid.
But she wouldn't stop announcing to the store that her daddy was a skull and at this point, it was causing a bit of a scene. In order to calm her the hell down, I had to agree. "Yes! Yes! It really is Daddy! Okay? Happy now? Your father is a skull."
Apparently, it did make her happy because she put the movie down and we decided on a different one. (Krush Groove, if you must know. We just weren't feeling the Vanilla Ice vibe that night, as I don't think anyone has since 1991.)
As I was paying for the rental, my daughter noticed that, lucky us, The Punisher was for sale and on display. Of course, the display was gigantic and now the man that was on the cover of the movie was life-size and wearing a skull T-Shirt and she could not be convinced that this man was not her father. She immediately ran over to the display and began touching and hugging it. "It's daddy again, mama! Look!"
The cashier was already confused enough. He became completely dumbfounded when I once again had to agree with her that yes, it was her father, in order to calm her down.
"Was your husband The Punisher for Halloween or something?" he asked.
"No," I responded, "he's a skull. Duh."
My daughter, without skipping a beat, chimed in with, "Yeah! My daddy's a skull!"
I couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh or call security on us.
RSM apparently has a thing for guys who remind her of Thomas Jane.
Krush Groove won't get you laid??
I have to rethink everything now.
Posted by: michele | November 16, 2006 9:05 AM
Is he a skull? I'm confused
Posted by: tesco | November 16, 2006 10:54 AM
I can just picture the looks on everyone's faces....totally priceless. So, did you learn your lesson about netflix? ;0P
Posted by: littlemissy | November 16, 2006 12:02 PM
You're not the only one who's really bad with Netflix. I usually keep the same three movies for a couple of months before I actually WATCH one. I finally had to send one back a few days ago because I'm trying to get Nip/Tuck season three and hadn't watched any of the movies we had. So yeah, seems easy, but not so much. I would've been cracking up if there were a little girl in the store proclaiming that her daddy was a skull. Priceless.
Posted by: Mama Jen | November 16, 2006 12:43 PM
i love netflix. I don't use it much though, 160 movies on your queue isnt nearly good enough. it also use it to get my friend some movies for driving me home everyday.
And if Krush Groove won't get you laid, Surf Ninjas will do the trick. :)
Posted by: Germ | November 16, 2006 1:24 PM
I actually prefer "Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo" Turbo and Ozone rule!
Posted by: Brandi | November 16, 2006 1:50 PM
We do the same thing around the Finn household... Netflix come in the mail and they sit on the shelf for three months until we remember that they're there and we actually watch them. Then we send 'em back and the new ones sit and gather dust....
Posted by: thefinn | November 16, 2006 1:53 PM
It could have been SO much worse! I mean, at least "Dad is a skull" is pretty cool. It could have been "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"! OMG, don't look now.. check out IMDB:
Posted by: davido | November 16, 2006 4:08 PM
No, he's not a skull. He's a bastard. But I wasn't going to say all that :P
Germ, Surf Ninjas? I'm beginning to understand so much more about you.
I don't know WHY I never return the Netflix movies. I mean, all I have to do is open my door and put them inside my mailbox... yet still, that's just too much trouble.
Posted by: rsm | November 16, 2006 4:11 PM
Or, just copy the DVDs on a computer and send them back right away. I've got dozens of unwatched, copied movies.
Wait. That's illegal. Never mind. I don't do that.
Posted by: FTN | November 16, 2006 4:20 PM
I have to agree with davido. I think there are many DVD covers that come to mind that would be much worse for a child to be announcing as her father.
Posted by: RWA | November 16, 2006 5:25 PM
Best daddy association evah. heh. A friend of mine is quite into Punisher (http://flickr.com/photos/muirnait/30849451/)
and now he has the belt buckle too. Crrazy.
Posted by: Heather | November 16, 2006 5:47 PM
hehe, that's cute. I love reading this kiddy stories!
And I do the same with Netflix.. we only thought it would be easy.
Posted by: beka | November 16, 2006 6:05 PM
(that's like the bajillionth typing error I've made today)
Posted by: beka | November 16, 2006 6:10 PM
i thought i was the only person who couldn't handle the netflix responsibility. i feel so much better now.
Posted by: kim de kimblahg | November 16, 2006 8:42 PM
I saw Surf Ninjas about 3 million times between the ages of 7 and 10.
Posted by: Tim | November 16, 2006 10:03 PM
I used to skateboard and my daughter (now 8) would always think that when I was playing the Tony Hawk Pro Skater game that is was me. Of course 5 years later and she asks me why I don't skate anymore. I guess 30 is just too old for me.
Posted by: Doug | November 17, 2006 8:55 AM