Out of The Broom Closet - or - What It Means to be A Witch in Modern America
by Pat Carbonell

Welcome to yet another new FTTW weekly column. Our new author, Pat Carbonell, is an arist, a mom to our very own Jo, a former(?) hippie and a witch.

Okay, let's get the first hurdle over with: yes, I'm a Witch. I'm not a High Priestess-this or Fifth Level-that... I'm your old-fashioned Middle-European village witch (in search of a village). I don't dance naked under the full moon (first, it would get me arrested as I live in a city, and second, I'm 51 and fat - it would scare the neighbors). I don't belong to a coven (been there, tried that, agree with the inestimable Terry Pratchett that a group of witches is not a coven, it's an argument).

So what makes me a witch? I was born one. When you enter the world at 2 minutes after midnight in the middle of Scorpio, what else are you going to be? I had the good fortune to be kid #3, so when I started hearing the cats talking, nobody was paying enough attention to convince me I was wrong. By the time my mother figured out that I was talking back to them in "cat" and threatened me with a shrink, I was old enough and mature enough to just be more discreet - made her feel better.

I started out on this journey by discovering that I'm a telepath and an empath. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I can project my thoughts to someone I know (been checked out to a range of 1200 miles), and I can pick up the emotional state of the people around me (very helpful for survival in the workplace). Fatal_Error_by_night_witch.jpg I can also project emotional states, but only do that to calm people down or help little ones go to sleep. There's a whole ethical issue involved with that; basically boils down to don't fuck with other people's heads without their permission.

From there I discovered that I could sense and affect the electro-magnetic matrix of stones, and that led to a lifetime of learning about being an earth-witch. Turned out that I can also sense and affect the human bioelectric field, which has led to learning to be an energetic healer - I generally combine it with massage work, which is somewhat sneaky, but it gets the job done.

Now, you may have noticed that I haven't mentioned the Goddess or the God, haven't talked about getting "called", haven't said anything about my religious beliefs. There's a reason for that. A witch is something you ARE, not something you believe. There are witches who follow every religion and godhead in the world. Yes, a lot of modern Western witches are pagans, but it isn't a requirement... so we'll talk about my religious beliefs another time.

Most of my life I stayed safely in the "broom closet" - close friends and some of my family knew I was a witch, but I didn't go around wearing occult jewelry and advertising the fact. When my daughter was young, I didn't really need to have someone call the state's child protective services division and try to have her taken away and "saved". As she got older, I wanted to hang onto my jobs - yeesh, I used to work for a Catholic college! Can you see the exorcism in the computer lab?

Then a couple of years ago this friend of mine asked me to facilitate a Wiccan discussion group for his New Age shop. I told him I wasn't a Wiccan. He told me I was the only Witch he knew, and he trusted me. I finally caved in after telling him he had to give me (a) three months to get ready and (b) free rein to go through the books in his shop. He agreed, and I wound up "out" of my safe little closet. My car is now a rolling billboard. My favorite is "Get a taste of religion, Lick a Witch".

Next installment: what happens when the world finds out you're a witch.

Blessed Be!

Pat talks to cats Rutland, Vermont

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Comments

Hey, can you come do a reading on my kitties? Hehe No seriously, this is a great beginning! I can't wait for more! And you taste pretty good....

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this is really good but left off to soon, more would be better...(yes that's my real last name)

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I will keep this short and simple. I agree with how you live your life. I am a solitary and happy. I feel your pain, I worked in a Catholic college myself for over a year. I wear one ring and I used to turn in around so that nobody at the college could see the symbol. I decided to change that because a witch is who I am and I will not be ashamed. I enjoyed reading what you wrote, very intersting.
April

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I am so glad to see comments from people I don't know! Jill- I didn't want to babble too much first time out, and thanks for that feedback. April- It's a tough choice being a public witch; I couldn't do this in Georgia! Blessed Be, Lady!

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Is it really that terrible when people find out you're a witch? I'm afraid maybe I spend too much of my life in la la land...

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Welcome to FTTW, Pat. Nicely done first piece and I look forward to the next installment.

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I love everything you wrote - I related to so much of what you said. I was in denial for so long about who I was and now that I am out of the broom closet and open about who I am and what I believe, it's liberating but liberation does come with a price. I can't wait to read more from you!

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I'm your old-fashioned Middle-European village witch (in search of a village).

Welcome to the Village of FTTW!

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Is it really that terrible when people find out you're a witch? I'm afraid maybe I spend too much of my life in la la land...

I wonder the same. I live in semi-rural Georgia and we have a couple of Wiccans on base. They don't appear to get any flak, not at work anyway.

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I had a witch work for me in Texas, some years ago. I gave her a lot of flack, but it was never about being wiccan -- it was about her continuously losing the keys to the arms room, even after measures like forcing her to tie them to her belt and lamenating on her desktop excerpts from the reg detailing potential consequences. Ever since I've judged all witches as stupid based on my experience with her... :P don't kill me -- it's a joke. I mean she was stupid, but the part about judging all witches is a joke.

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Cullen & Kory: The U.S. military recognizes Wicca as a legitimate religion, covered in the U.S. Army's Chaplain handbook. Interesting reading - found it when researching discrimination 'cause a landlady here in VT refused to rent a meeting space to my discussion group because she felt we were a cult.

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Hello Jo's Mom! I feel like I already know you from Jo's LiveJournal =)

I've just started on my path after years of ignoring my instincts. I am really looking forward to your column!

Merry met!

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Isn't she just great, folks?!? I thought you'd enjoy my mom as much as I do. Besides a woman as brilliant as this needs an audience bigger than me. Smartest person I know, compassionate, helpful, generous, loving, caring, and a wonderful all around mother! I hope you enjoy her writing as much as I do.

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Enjoyed reading your thoughts. When I was a child a full moon excited me and I felt like there was a fantasy world that was real. I felt majical. I felt the cold night was majical. My favorite show was bewitched and Samantha was my idol. I wanted so much to be her. If you have the desire to be a witch, but aren't sure if you were born one, Can you still be one?

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