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by Michele Christopher
I am flying solo for Late Night Typing tonight. Turtle isn't exactly on the road yet, but he will be by the time most of you read this. So we'll call this Day 1 of The Great Turtle Cross Country Adventure. Otherwise known as: Michele's Anxiety Levels Reach Xanax Proportions Week. I guess I can put up the turtle tracker now:
You'll be seeing this on LNT every night til he gets to New York. I'll be calling turtle as I'm ready to write my LNT and he'll tell me where he's at and if anything interesting happened he wants to share. Maybe a zombie infestation in Wyoming. Something like that. So tonight as I write this the turtle is still hanging in California, poised at the starting gate. Who knows where it will be tomorrow night. But let's say if you load up this page tomorrow morning and the turtle is somewhere in Arizona, something has gone horribly wrong and the woodpecker on the east coast (that's me) will be holding a bottle of Jack Daniels should that happen.
For the record, LNT won't be solo this whole week - I know it's not the same without turtle but hey, this is a small price to pay for my happiness, right? Right.
I'll have a guest or two writing with me during the week, and turtle did leave me with half an LNT in case I ran out of ideas. Seriously, he is the idea man. Notice what I come up with when he's not around.
You ever find yourself standing in a store just minding your own business and you happen to overhear a conversation two people are having and you can't help but listen in on the conversation intently because you just can't believe what you're hearing? Sure, you may call it eavesdropping. I call it overhearing. Hey, you talk out loud in a public place, you gotta expect people to hear you. And write down what you say. And publish it on a website. Fair use or something like that.
I've collected quite a bit of overheard snippets in my time and tonight, I will share them all with you.
Overheard at the PTA meeting:
lady1: man, that really gets my goat.
overheard between a kindergarten boy and his father, outside the school:
Dad: What did you do today?
Overheard in a restaurant:
woman 1: this coffee is giving me a stomach ache
overheard in the supermarket:
Woman 1: Mmmm... I love cheese danish. Let's get those.
in doctor's office:
Receptionist: "Mr. Green! How have you been?"
Guy 1 (about 35-40 years old, has that freshly hungover look): "Hey, dude! I haven't seen you in months!
woman: What should I make for dinner tonight?
parking lot at work:
Woman 1: You better go read your bible, you fucking whore!
and my favorite:
Girl: What are we going to do tonight?
Late Night Typing does not apologize for airing your dirty laundry