Reliable Repeats Part I
by Dan Greene

I generally don’t make lists and I usually don’t have favourites. I like to take everything on its own merits. Comparing Pink Floyd before and after Roger Waters is like comparing apples and testicles, so I don’t compare. They are two separate things. Iron Maiden with Paul Di’Anno compared to Bruce Dickinson. The Clash during the period with Mick Jones versus the period after he left….. Well, okay, I’ll give you that one. I should never have mentioned that.

I like or dislike based on what’s offered. People who talk about horror sequels in a negative way often annoy me because of this tendency of mine. Keeping the spirit is one thing, but if you thought you’d be as surprised at the end of Saw 2 as you were at the end of Saw, then I’m sorry my friend, you are a simpleton and we can’t help you at FTTW. If you were upset that I Still Know What You Did Last Summer was shittier than I Know What You Did Last Summer, then you get too upset over shitty movies and we still can’t help you.

What’s fucked up is that I’m not talking about either of those things today. I’m talking about the movies that I tend to watch the most. Not necessarily the ones I like the most, but the ones I watch the most. Sometimes I’ll put on a movie because it’s late, I’m tired and I feel like sleeping on the couch. I might want a good one to hold my attention until I fall asleep, or I might want a good shitty one that’s relatively good to watch while not too upsetting to miss. Sometimes I’ll put on a movie because there’s nothing on TV and, no matter how many times I see it, that movie gets me. For whatever reason, here are some movies that I have seen a million times.

Zombie (aka Zombi 2)

If you know me then you saw this coming a mile away. The opening shot in this movie is a gun firing and a corpse dying for the second time. Two minutes later, a zombie kills a cop. Later on, there’s a fucking underwater fight between a zombie and a shark in this one, and that one alone should really explain everything. Come ON, man, a shark and a zombie. Neither one of them gives a shit at all. Someone’s getting fucked up, you know? Fucked up bad. The zombie loses an arm and he’s all, like, “Fuck that, motherfucker, how you like this? HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW???” and messes that shark up good and proper. That’s one heavy macho zombie. I know I talk about Zombie all the time, but again, did you not hear what happens? That’s the coolest thing ever. Ever. Some day very soon I’ll talk about the whole movie in more detail. And I promise I won’t talk about it for at least a month after that.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie

sleeping corpses.jpgDude, this is one of the coolest zombie movies I’ve ever seen, and not for the usual reasons. It’s a great movie but it’s a little more than that….. they’re just a touch more obvious in their social commentary (which is in just about every zombie movie you’ve seen or are likely to see). Made by dirty hippies for sure. It has this big, in you face subplot about the evils of progress and its effect on society. In the opening scene there are multiple shots of exhaust pipes and people wearing face masks to protect themselves from the air pollution caused by their all too rapid progress that threatens their very existence, blah fuckidy blah. It’s lame but it’s great too. It’s just a cool little snapshot of the culture of the time, and the ideas that the filmmakers had.

This one isn’t very bloody but it has a lot of suspense. There are some really good scenes in this one, and it’s fairly underrated in my opinion.

In the opening scenes, where the two main characters meet and become traveling companions, you will find yourself laughing. I don’t think they meant for us to do that. The guy’s such an asshole to the girl though, I love it.


vamp.jpgOkay, this movie isn’t the best, it’s horribly 80’s with the bad hair and the dated clothes and the college setting and the guys looking for strippers and the Asian nerd and oh my, it must be fun. Grace Jones plays the head vampire(ss), and if you think that’s scary then wait until you meet the lead character, a dude by the name of Chris Makepiece. Maybe you know him; I think the height of his career was Meatballs. Or maybe My Bodyguard….. No! Mazes & Monsters! That’s my choice, the height of his career was Mazes and Monsters (and it sucked). Oh shit, I forgot about The Falcon & The Snowman. Meh, with crap like that behind you, nobody’s going to remember the one time you acted with Sean Penn except you.

This is another one of those horror comedies, and you know, it’s not that bad. You know what you’re getting into. And hey, It’s got Sandy Baron in it. Ya know who that is? That’s Jack Klompus from Seinfeld. You know, with the space pen and the box of raincoats. Yeah, you wanted horror, you get Klompus. Well, maybe Klompus dies well in the movie. Maybe he fucking doesn’t either, guess you’ll have to track it down, won’t ya?

So what do you have for me? Like I said, this is part one so I’ll be back with more later, but I want to know the horror movies you’ve seen a million times. Nobody cares if they’re good or not, who are we to judge, you know? I might find another one for the short list.

Dan is definitely obsessed with a shark vs. zombie fight and has contacted Don King about a possible pay per view event.



A shark versus a fucking zombie? Okay, I have to see that. I thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Horror movie I've seen again and again? I don't know if there are any. I've only recently, in the last few years, started to really get into horror movies, so I haven't had a chance to rewatch any one extensively. I have a feeling the first Evil Dead could end up being that movie, though. I really enjoy it, in a way I don't enjoy the other ones. I think it's because, even though it doesn't always succeed, it really does try to play things mostly straight. Not completely, but much more than the other two. And that works for me.

One movie I've seen many times and always enjoy, ridiculous as it is, is The Devil's Advocate. Not exactly a horror movie but, you know, that's what I got for you.


The old Universal and Hammer Films black and white stuff, I can watch over and over... All our now "classic" horror characters are much better portrayed in black and white... Plus, Christopher Lee was in at least half of the damn things and when I was a kid, the only thing that was scarier was Vincent Price...


Have to second Finn on the old Hammer films.


I grew up on horror movies and now so have my kids, so there are a ton of movies we watch again and again.

For me, it's Evil Dead, all those Vincent Price movies, Night of the Living Dead and, forgive me please, Killer Klowns From Outer Space.

My daughter watches those Final Destination movies over and over again. Do they count as horror?

Of course, anything with zombies is a given in our house. Zombies are always rewatchable.



Comparing Pink Floyd before and after Roger Waters is like comparing apples and testicles, so I don’t compare. They are two separate things. Iron Maiden with Paul Di’Anno compared to Bruce Dickinson. The Clash during the period with Mick Jones versus the period after he left

Next tuesday at the Gauntlet....


Hey guys,
Sorry, I seem to be missing you all lately....

Funny how I can mention Zombie over and over again, but I've yet to mention one fucking Hammer film.

I gotta say, as shitty as those Final Destination movies are for using the same story three times, they've really done a lot with dying well. There are a lot of imaginative deaths in those and they get points for it. Now I wanna go watch the second one again.

And Joel, that's funny. I was just thinking about The Devil's Advocate the other day. Thinking about how badly it sucked and how I really should watch it again.


I definitely give the Final Destination movies and A for Creative Death Scenes.

And I can't watch Devil's Advocate again. Pacino's acting is almost painful to me in that one.


I hate to say it, but I find the Rube Goldberg-esque machinations in the Final Destination films to be absolutely hilarious... It's the only reason to watch them...


I don't know why Devil's Advocate is so watchable to me. It's really bad, and yes, Michele, Pacino is so over the top it even sets a precedent for him, but shit. It's always enjoyable. I have no idea why.


More love for Evil Dead, especially AOD.

Usually the movies I watch the most are the ones I think are really really terrible, for instance: Street Fighter: The Movie. Adding a plot to a game that didn't have one was a bad idea to begin with, but god, the casting decisions. Ming Na as Chun-Li and Wes Studi as Sagat were alright, but JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME AS GUILE? The most heavily accented French guy every plays one of the two American characters in the game? And poor Raul Julia in his last role ever as M. Bison. My favorites parts of the movie are every single time Van Damme talks, for instance, "Eyeem goyn to keeck that sonafabeesh Bison's ahhs so hoird, da next Bison wan-nabee is gonna feel it."


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