we have a date with the underground, chapter 30
by Michele Christopher

Seems after looking back at my past few posts, I have been really down on the music industry and all the bullshit that goes along with it. All the road stories are a fucking dime a dozen. Most are pretty funny, some are kinda of inspiring, some are kinda sad.

But, it seems lately I have forgotten to tell you why I started all of this in the first place. The thing that made me pick up the bass and grab a mic the first time. Why would I sacrifice a "normal" life for one, that from reading my past stories, sometimes sounds like complete shit?

FREE STUFF!health-risks-getting.jpg

No, not really, that came later and it was never really free. Well, drugs were usually free, but yadda yadda, insert turtle's AA rant here about nothing for being for free. Hey, I guess some people walked away from that scene and weren't whacked out on drugs and alcohol. I guess. If there were any, I sure as fuck didn't know them. Well, once again, that's not entirely true, either. But those guys were always the lame guys. Not lame cause they didn't do drugs or drink til they could see jesus like we could, but, well, just lame guys. I dunno. Too preachy and all that bullshit. Not that being straight edge is all that bad, but fuck man, all those fucking "X"s on their hands. I mean do you have to parade it in front of us that you are so much better then us cause you don't like to get high?

Anyways, got off track again. That usually always happens in these posts. I kinda just start then see where I end up at the end. If you are new here, get used to it. I think I was talking about free stuff.

Free stuff is cool. People like to give things to people in bands. I mean really, if you think about it, you get stuff for free from the audience that associates with your music. That was a deep thought for a Sunday morning. It's pretty simple, really. If you play in a band with a lot of tattooed fans, you will probably end up with a bunch of free tattoos. If you play hippy music, you will probably end up with a lot of free dope. If you play RockaBilly, you will probably end up with a lot of free tattoos AND free Tres Flores.

God, I hate Tres Flores.

But you get the picture.

I was lucky enough to be playing in the drug/alcohol/tattoo type bands, so as you can see, I was pretty set up. Fuck yeah, I'll put your name on the list if you drill on me for two hours. I don't know you or this town, but what the fuck, it's for free! Plus, you get initiated into all these cool little gangs across America. See dude, this is why I started playing music. To be in some street gang in rural Ohio with methamphetamine dragging down the back of my throat with generic neosporin dripping off my chest.

This is the real reason most people start playing music. Don't let them lie to you. They really just want free stuff. I am kinda kidding there. Maybe.

It is really kind of a trip. You can watch the people who are happy just playing along with their friends and having a party, no one really making any cash. Watch them have what seems like the times of their lives just fucking around and you have to ask yourself where did that go with you? 3flo.jpgWhen did this become such a "take all" type of thing for me? There had to have been some point in my life when "just having fun" stopped and "getting as much as I could while I could" started.

I would sit in bars and watch these bands play. All of their friends on stage, having fun.

I guess I am trying to say I really liked having those nights when I could just go home and sleep on my own bed and then get up and go to work the next morning and not have to worry about the fucking band til the next gig a month later. Til then, I'd just have fun.

And try to get free stuff.

But, that's just what I do.

Cause it's free.

Turtle still has ten jars of Tres Flores in his bathroom. He is looking for alternate uses.



Some of my coolest possessions were given to me by people who were hoping to get something in return.



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