Don't worry, folks. I'm not making fun of fatties. I am a fatty. However, since the goal of FTTW is to serve the heh grhehheheheeater good AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- sorry, couldn't say it with a straight face.

Let's try it again. Since the goal of FTTW is to serve the greater good, and since the average American gains almost 8 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day (seriously!) I'm going to make December's recipes rather healthy. Today's is a great salad that I made for the first time in college and it's never failed me before.

Asian Pickle Salad

4 large cucumbers, about 2 lbs, washed
1 medium onion
2 medium or 1 large carrot
2 Tbsp toasted sesame seeds
2 c rice wine vinegar
1/2 c distilled (white) vinegar
3/4 c sugar
1/3 c salt
2 tsp red chile flakes
3 Tbsp dark (toasted) sesame oil
1 bunch scallions
1 Tbsp basil
1 Tbsp mint

Special hardware: either a v-slicer or exceptional knife skills, and a box grater.

Slice the cucumbers very thin using a v-slicer or mandolin, or with your knife. The slices shouldn't be more than 1/8" thick. Using the largest hole in the box grater, grate the onions and carrots and toss with the cucumbers. In a microwave-safe dish, combine the vinegar, chile flakes, salt, and sugar and microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir to dissolve the salt and sugar. If it's still not dissolved, microwave for 45 seconds at a time, stirring after each interval until it's all dissolved. Pour over the veggies and stir to combine. Let this mixture come to room temperature.

Chop the scallions, mint, and basil fairly small. Toss with the veggies. Add the sesame seeds and sesame oil, and stir to combine. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours, but since this is a pickle* it's even better as it gets older. I've had this last in an airtight container up to 2 weeks, and it just gets better and better. It's fantastic with steamed fish or grilled chicken breasts. And yes, editors of FTTW, this is awesome with rooster sauce.

* This is a refrigerator pickle. That means, unlike your standard jarred pickle, you do need to keep it refrigerated at all times.

Now, back to the top 10 metal albums of 2006, according to the most
knowledgable source around: me. To recap, we have so far:

10. Witchery - Don't Fear the Reaper (Century Media Records)
9. Light This City - Facing the Thousand (Prosthetic Records)

8. Cannibal Corpse - Kill
Metal Blade Records
Release Date: March 21, 2006

"If vomit were a movie, this would be the soundtrack," wrote one critic of Cannibal Corpse's music, some of the most extreme, violent death metal sounds and subject matter ever committed to tape. I wasn't a huge fan of George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher's vocals after he took over for Chris Barnes but Kill completely changed my mind. This album is brutal but musical at the sametime, and very much reminds me of Napalm Death. Allmusic.com writes, "From the first explosive second of the blistering opener, 'Time to Kill is Now,' Kill reaches into the back of your throat and pulls out your writhing skeleton. This is metal crafted with little remorse for the eardrums and souls of its people. Producer Erik Rutan (Hate Eternal/ex-Morbid Angel) cranks up the bottom end -- it's rare to be able to hear the kick drum in speed metal -- tightens the guitar leads and generally pounds the listener into submission through 13 aural assaults that will be welcomed by fans with open mouths. Kill doesn't break any new ground for the veteran sickos, but if it ain't broke don't fix it -- just turn it up louder." Couldn't have said it better myself.

7. Dragonforce - Inhuman Rampage
Roadrunner Records
Release Date: January 10, 2006 (worldwide on Sanctuary Records; US release was mid-June on Roadrunner)

Go look up Power Metal in Wikipedia. Seriously, I'll wait. The definition is "Power metal is a style of heavy metal music with the aim of evoking an 'epic' feel, often within a fantastic or (less often) symphonic context." Why Dragonforce's picture is not right there is beyond me. These guys are power metal defined, not to mention some of the most technically perfect musicians I've ever heard. I first heard the European release of this album about 3 months ago and was blown away, but was convinced that the guitar wizardry was simply production value. Then I saw them live at Ozzfest in August -– it's not knobs and whistles. They're really that good. The album is chock full of 6 and 7 minute songs full of guitar wankery and high-pitched, Halford-esque vocals. If you're interested in just listening to amazing musicians doing what they do best, give this album a listen.

Next week we'll finish out the top 5 and post another healthy recipe. So stay tuned, fatty!

Baby Huey does not condone the use of marijuana unless you plan to make a run for the California gubernatorial race

Baby Huey - deadofthenight@gmail.com
-------------------------------------
Metal Director and Host of "Dead of the Night"
Every Tuesday, 10pm - midnight
WXDU, 88.7 FM, Durham, NC

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