I Don't Believe That Happened
by Turtle Jones

Long weekend. I won't lie to you. We are both exhausted. The nice weather around New York forced us to go outside and do exercise type things. In other words, we had to leave the FTTW headquarters and partake in the checking out of the beach and hanging out in the park and, ug, socializing with people.

So we are a little bit frazzled.

So for today, we thought we would talk about disappointments.

Kinda goes with the whole football thing. I mean hell, we had a great weekend, but Michele's team lost, so it got us thinking. What were the biggest sports disappointments we had ever seen.

I know we usually go "Best Of" moments, but today, we are doing shittiest moments.

Those ones that you still remember and seethe at when you hear someone talk about them.300px-Clark_si_cover.jpg

They are that bad.

So let's do this.

turtle hates San Francisco 49er's.

"The Catch"

After being called a 49er fan today by someone on this site who obviously does not know how much I hate this team, I thought I would give a little background as to why I hate this damn team so much I wish they would be rubbed away like so much dog shit on a runner's shoe. Oh yeah. I don't like them. I don't care where I was from and how I should like them or whatever. I just don't like them.

Take a little kid with all his birthday money. Take an evil relative who has a gambling problem. The evil relative forces the young kid to take the Cowboys in a bet. Let the date be January 10, 1982.

Let the young child's birthday money be taken away because of "The Catch" and spent by the evil relative in Reno on craps.

That little boy will hate the 49ers and his Uncle for the rest of his life. And Joe Montana. Grrrrrrrr. I hate him too. All I got was a Micronaut that year for a gift. Not even one of the good ones. One of the cheap ones.

Fuck Joe Montana.

My worst moment is really Chris Webber getting injured in the 2003 NBA playoffs against the Mavericks knocking the Kings out of the Western Conference Semifinals, but since we are in football mode today, I thought I'd stick to NFL.

And no. I am not bitter about the injury. Or the way the team split up the next year. How a rag tag shit hole team that was mocked by the entire NBA for years for gathering players who were old and untested slowly worked their way up to the loudest fuck you in the face NBA team in the league who had their fingers on the greatest "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! LOOK AT US NOW!" moment in the entire history of the NBA (for me that is) lost it all cause of a injury that sucked out the wind in their sails.

But you know what? I am still there for them. You can't keep them down. They have been fucked over before and they will be fucked over again. But they will still be there. Just waiting to pick up who you threw away and put them together in the right place on our team. Then we will be back.

But I'm not bitter about the injury.

I'm not bitter about that.




- T

Michele swings next.

The 2004 American League baseball playoffs.

No contest on this one.

The Yankees held a three games to none lead over the hated Red Sox. Three games to none. They had to win ONE game out of the next four. Just. One. Game.

"Red Sox are three outs away from being swept out of the American League Championship Series for the first time since 1988"- That was Joe Buck at the start of the bottom of the ninth of game 4.

We were psyched. This was awesome. We were running the fucking Sox into the ground. Humiliating them. Punishing them. Who's your fucking daddy now? This was GAME ON and we were loving it.

And then the pact Big Papi made with the devil (or with Ted Williams's head) kicked in and all hell broke loose.

The games came and went and suddenly we found ourselves in front of the tv watching a game seven that should never have been.

tshirt.jpg"The 1-0 pitch, swing and a groundball to second base, Pokey Reese has it, he throws to first and the Red Sox have won the American League Pennant."

I'm telling you. I was stunned.

I remember back in whatever year that was that I saw Apocalypse Now in the movie theater. At the end of the movie, as the credits rolled, the theater was completely silence. Shock and awe. Everybody just sat there like, what the fuck did we just see?

It was like that in my sister's apartment. We all just stood there with our mouths hanging open. Nobody said anything for a long while. I think we were post traumatic.

Well, maybe not all those things. Maybe I was more angry than anything else. Maybe I threw a couple of things. Maybe I broke a few Yankee bobbleheads in the middle of the street by running them over with my car. Maybe I looked up Curt Schilling's phone number and told him I would take that damn bloody sock and shove it so far down his throat he'd be shitting cotton and blood for two weeks. Maybe I went home and stared at my photo of Bucky Dent hitting that homer over the Green Monster and cried into my pillow.

Let it be know, I wasn't really crying because the Yankees lost. I mean, it's sports. It isn't my life.

I was crying because they lost to the Red Sox.

And now I'd have to face every Red Sox fan I brazenly taunted after game three, when I thought there was no way in hell the Yanks would lose this series.

Chickens coming home to roost and all.

I'd like to say I learned a valuable lesson in sports humility that day.

But...eh. I just learned how to be really bitter. -M

So those are our moments. Things that will stick with us forever. From the look on their eyes to the feelings in our hearts. The moment that we knew this was the end of the season. It hurts. But, we will always be fans. We will always want more.

What are your biggest disappointments? The ones that really made your earn your fan status for sticking around?

/Go Kings!

Michele and Turtle were both very upset about the whole National Lawn Bowling League scandal.



Jeez Turtle you had me going about the 49ers. I was all ready to say I was really sorry for saying you were a Niners fan. Very devious.


That's a true story, ernie

Thus an NBA fan was born


Sorry Turtle. Please accept my sincere and humble apologies.

I will list two moments:

The first of my worst sports moments was the 1976 NFL playoff game where admitted Oakland Raider fan and then game referee Ben Drieth called a BULLSHIT roughing the passer penalty on The Patriots' Ray Hamilton that set up the eventual winning Raiders TD.

I learned two things that day. It's not easy being a Patriots fan and hate The Oakland Raiders.

The second and worst of my worst sports moments was the 2003 ALCS, Game 7, Red Sox / Yankees. With the Sox leading the game, Grady Little sent Pedro Martinez back out for the 8th inning even though everyone in the world knew he was cooked then left him in as The Yankees players went around the bases like it was a turnstile. The Yankees eventually won the game in extra innings. I remember waking up at like 5 AM and seeing the early morning news shows out of NY and the news anchors were wearing those shiny NY Yankee jackets. The next day was like being at a funeral. Why Grady? WHY??? TIMLIN in the 8th, Williamson in the 9th!!!

The 2003 ALCS Game 7 was my most agonizing sports moment.


i wondered where you raiders hatred came from. I actually liked it when they went to LA. It was funny watching all the fans in the bay area cry over a team leaving that they never paid any attention to in the first place.

that was funny


The 2003 ALCS Game 7 was my most agonizing sports moment.

One person's agony is another person's joy...


Yes that is very true. 2003 hurt so bad. That was the absolute worst. You can't imagine what it was like around here the day after that game.

2004 made up for it though. The Greatest Comeback in Sports History fixed it.


For me Saturday is shaping up as one of those moments. I'm a Cowboys fan born and bred in Dallas, Texas. That 4th quarter collapse, from the fumble that went for a safety, to the botched hold was like taking one stomach punch after another.

The other moment was the NBA Finals last year where my Mavs got jobbed. I mean Dwayne f'ing Wade averaged as many free throws as the entire Maverick team, I mena come on!


My most disappointing sports moment was a game that I actually took part in. I played Varsity Basketball for Long Island Lutheran High School and the year I was a senior (and one of the captains if I may say so) we made it to the NY State Championships. It was so exciting - we travelled to some cold city upstate NY and most of our friends/families/people who just wanted to cut school - headed up with us. We were a travelling team of cute basketball girls who basically had kicked every other teams asses to get to where we were. Until States....we got housed...badly!! It was such a disappointment to be a senior and lose that last game. There would be no more glances into the crowd to see my boyfriend and parents looking on so proud, no more 2 hour practices that ended in intimate "girl locker-room talks", no more being the top shit at school - oh well, it was fun while it lasted!!


that ended in intimate "girl locker-room talks"

i gotta get my mind out of the gutter


Nope Turtle - you are right on the mark - "intimate locker room talks" can always be substituted with "gutter" thinking.


I have nothing to add except the fact that I had coffee with the head coach of the portland trailblazers last friday.

You may all now bow before me


is Portland still a team?


I'm an OU Sooner fan, so the 1972 Game Of The Century with Nebraska still leaves a very bitter taste - especially since Jeff Kinney actually fumbled the football near the goal line, recovered by Oklahoma but unseen by the myopic referees, on the play before he scored the winning touchdown for Nebraska.

I'm also a Dallas fan, but "the catch" is one notch down on the list for me. Those two close Super Bowl losses to the friggin' Steelers are among my most vividly awful memories...


re: the 'blazers...

man, even people in Oregon hold their nose about that team and call them the Jailblazers.


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