FTTW - a daily magazine

Let's See Those Dollars, Gentlemen!
by Kali Pornia

ok so i just started this new gig. same employer, new gig. my employer is the largest private employer in the state though, so... uh needless to say i don't know any of my new coworkers.

thank god that it's wintertime. luck has it that i always need to find a new gig in the winter. and as i've now entered into the 9-5 workforce (another good thing don't laugh) i need to look, uh respectable for lack of a better term. and i have tattoos. lots of them. and long sleeves would look really weird in the middle of summer. so ya, the new peeps don't know that i'm a freak. i've lowered the freak flag as it were.

well... the tattooed freak flag.

i always think that i'm going to be really reserved at any new gig. i mean i always think that i'm going to watch my mouth, fly under the radar, act like a full fledged adult. and this time it worked! for one full day i was the nice quiet new girl.

then they showed me my new office. ok cubicle. but really it's nice. because i am assistant to the head of operations at this place i got a double wide! it's like a long reception desk thingy with lots of room and track lighting. the best thing is that i'm not the receptionist. i fucking hate receptionist duties. i'll personal assist all day long but the meet and greet thing is just not my style.

so.. my eyes follow the desk down the line as i inspect my new abode. and what do my eyes rest upon in the middle of my space? uh. a pole. yes, there is a pole in the middle of my cubicle.

now let's say this right now. i'm not peeved about the pole being in the middle o my space. im not that kinda girl fung shuei? kung fu? whatever. but what is interesting is that I HAVE A POLE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CUBICLE!!

uhm. how can i stay away from the stripper jokes? the answer? i can't. i just can't. so the stripper jokes started day two and now i've set the tone. and i've set it pretty low as you can well imagine. so now we're painting the pole a different color than the rest of the new space. and the private room jokes have begun! it's... well, it's entertaining. and i'm officially not the nice quiet new girl.

i'm the girl with the stripper pole in her cubicle.

oh just wait until summer comes...

Kali just waits for the summer to let it all hang out.