Michele Stole My Column Title
by thefinn

You know the drill by now.... You got to read about Turtle and Michele's favorite arcades and now it's time for mine and huey's...


I’ve been playing video games an awful long time. Scientists can tell you all they want
that more than half of your mind set comes from the environment that you’re brought up in. I’m not buying it. Sure, I come from a pretty wired household, but entertainment from our electrical devices was never a priority to my parents or my siblings. I made it one for us. As soon as the old man came home with an Apple (our first home computer), I called up my Uncle and asked him to send me some games.

pinball_pool_1.jpgMy first arcade was one on base. We’d just moved into a new house on a new base and, while wandering around one day, I quite literally stumbled onto it. I was looking for the entrance to the convenience store that was located right next door and walked right into the arcade instead. I never made it to the convenience store and ended up spending most of the afternoon playing Spy Hunter when I should have been unpacking. That arcade was fantastic, simply because I was in a pretty confusing time of my life and the arcade gave me a little time to completely escape and live out all my childhood fantasies. I got to be a super spy every time I threw a quarter into Elevator Action, a heavyweight boxer in Punch Out and that retard from The Last Starfighter whenever I got down in Defender. I’d spend a lot of afternoons, if I wasn’t working or doing chores in that place. If I was by myself, I’d get in a lot of time with Outrun or Rampage and if I was with friends, we’d play Gauntlet until I would wake up in the middle of the night, mumbling about the Elf needing food badly. On days when I couldn't get near the arcade machine, I'd play pinball until the late evening, when I knew my mother was going to kick my ass for coming in late. It was a good, pre-teen time. Not long afterwards, we moved back to Germany and there wasn’t another arcade to be found unless I went to Munich. So, I played games on the family’s computers until I moved back to the States and started playing Street Fighter 2 (you might remember me writing something about that here).

As I got older, I started playing more and more games in places I could drink and smoke. I was already spending a good deal of time there and striking out with the ladies, so I might as well do something I was good at. So, once in a while, I take a shot at the PL_107_fetish1_f-720155.jpgGolden Tee machine or one of the Megacrack machines. They just weren’t the same though. Neither one really appealed to me (sorry kids, but I’m not a duffer and the Megacrack is just annoying), so I started checking out some of the other bars in the neighborhoods around mine, finding a good pinball machine here, and a Ms. Pacman/Galaga tabletop game there. There was a period in my life when I would strictly go out to get loaded and play games. Where I went that night totally depended on who had what games and what kind of crowd I was feeling like. If I wanted a moderately quiet night and some Elvira pinball, I went to Mom’s. But if I was feeling a little more raucous and wanted a night of booze and a PacMan/Galaga machine, I went to Ray’s Happy Birthday bar. For a while, these did the trick, but there’s only so much time you can occupy the quieter hours of your life with hooch and games. I mean, eventually, you have to move on to hooch and chicks.

Lately though, I’m old. I don’t get out to the arcades or the bars like I used to and right now my favorite arcade is in my living room. We’ve got seven console currently connected to the receiver and a handful of handhelds laying about. Everyone in the house plays games to some extent (my wife has currently taken over the Wii as I write this and my housemate is upstairs playing World of Warcraft), even the baby has a couple that I let him play with me. When he was smaller, I’d give him a controller that wasn’t connected to the console, but now he and I play a couple of racing games with each other. He’s two and cars are his favorite thing, so for him it’s a giant thrill to get to drive. And that’s what I call father-son bonding time.

thefinn still plays. Sometimes a little too late into the evening.

Baby Huey talks of a very scary experience ...

I wanna tell you about the scariest place on earth. It's not some slaughterhouse, or torture chamber, or Sigfried and Roy's house. Let me explain some of the horrors:

- pizza
- video games
- skeeball
- cheesy prices
- ball pit

cheese-chuck_01.jpgFigured it out yet? Yeah, that's right. I'm talking about Chuck E Motherfuckin Cheese. Now, you are probably saying "Oh, those things aren't scary. What's up, pussy?" I left the worst part of all: the furries.

Yeah, that's right. I don't care if you try to tell me that giant mouse isn't a furry. He hangs around with a bunch of other people in giant animal costumes. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. It'd be better if the scorpions from Aqua Teen Hunger Force were there with Zakk Wylde. That'd be pretty sweet.

Sexual deviants aside, CeC had some pretty sweet games. I grew up in the boonies and the nearest one was 45 minutes away in Columbus, so we only went for special occasions -- birthday parties and the like. Seeing as how my shithole town didn't have an arcade, this was the only place with more than 2 or 3 cabinets at once. I got introduced to games like the Simpsons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it helped me hone my unbeatable strategy on Street Fighter 2.

I'm still old school, though, and even though I liked those games, I still preferred games like Breakout, Frogger, and analog shit like Skeeball and Whack-a-Mole.

So there it is. My first experience with many of my still-favorite video games AND furries. All in one convenient location.

Baby Huey had his first date in a long time last night. He had fun, but should have taken her to an arcade.

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