Up On The Rooftop
by Rockstar Mommy

New Years weekend was very low key in our house, which is exactly how I like it: Home with the family, stuffing our faces, watching movies, taking down Christmas decorations. My husband spent New Year's morning on the roof taking down the Christmas lights. I followed him up there with the brand new camera Santa brought me to play around with it and see if I could get some good shots. But, before I got a chance to take any pictures, he pointed out that my shoelace had come untied. I handed the camera over to him and asked him to hold onto it for just a second while I bent down to lace my boot back up.

From this forward, I'm not quite sure how the events that occurred happened; I just know that they did. One second I was tying my shoe, the next I was watching my husband slide off the side off the roof - and I knew this wasn't something that was supposed to be happening because I heard God's name called followed by a long string of four letter words.

fallroof.jpg I jumped up and as I ran to the edge, I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. What the hell was I going to do? The thing that I loved most in this world, that helped me get out of bed in the morning, that gave me a sense of comfort and calm in such a crazy world -MY CAMERA!- could be gone in one big SPLAT!

Oh, and my husband too.

I peeked over the edge at my husband dangling on the edge, just over a small eve of the house, hanging on for dear life.

"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Do I look okay?"
"Did you drop the camera?"
"The camera? Who cares about the camera? Just help me up!"
"Who cares about the camera? I care about the camera!" "We're not really having this discussion right NOW, are we?"
"But it was expensive!"
"Okay, okay. Jeeze. Just hang onto the camera tight, okay?"

This is when he began speaking to Jesus Christ with a bunch of expletives again. I wasn't paying attention, though, because I had to figure out a way to get him back up onto the roof. I knew I wasn't strong enough to lift him myself, so I had to come up with something. I remembered an old episode of McGyver where he made a pulley with a few blades of grass, some tree bark, and a cigarette. But I didn't have any of those things handy, so I fashioned together the craziest, most unheard of rescue invention ever; I call it The Rope. (I'm gonna patent that.)

The Good News: Husband and camera are doing well, both still in the original packaging in which they came.

The Bad News: I didn't get to take any pictures of said event.

I'm about as good of a blogger as I am a wife.

Rock Star Mommy will be selling "The Rope" on the Home Shopping Network



yes thank god the camera is safe. (you worried me for a second i thought you were going to try and sell us some tripe about t. being the reason you get out of bed in the morning)


next time, bring the old camera up on the roof : )

And can you guys come do my lights next year? Mine are always only on the first floor and it bugs me every year -- I want second story lights !!!


That's some nice photoshop work up there with that pic. I'm glad that all are safe now!


That is classic - I can say for sure that if I had your camera, I would be choosing camera over man, too. I am sure he totally understood!


Haha! I think this is one of your funniest posts!


I got up on my roof once to try to fix something.


It was so steep that I freaked out and only made it about three steps before retreating back down the ladder.

Our roofs are obviously steeper here in the midwest. Either that or I'm just a big weenie.


That was too funny! Such a shame you didn't get any pics. Glad T and the camera are fine!!


Scary! I'm glad that they are both ok! The first thing I thought when you said you left the camera with him is OH MY GAWD, he's gonna drop it!


You just gave me a much needed laugh. It's one of those things where it's not funny, but it is. Glad they both survived but damn, it's funny.



that is the BEST post-holiday annecdote ever. Thanks for sharing!


thanks once again for something so damn funny that everyone around me thinks I am seriously mental...*priceless*


1) I love the picture with the CAMERA added into it. Classic!

2) Glad your camera is safe and sound.... oh and T too!!!

3) "the Rope" sounds way to complicated for me:)


Kali, I can't believe you ever doubted me :P

And I'm serious. Nobody better try to take that Rope idea. That shit's mine. I'm gonna be a thousandaire.


I'm glad that your camera is safe. That camera looks like a keeper. I know whence you speak, because I am going through some serious camera withdrawls right now. Either I lost it or someone walked in through my broken front door and helped themselves but, regardless, it ain't here. I've scoured the apartment 15 times. No camera. Sorry. Had to vent.

(Oh, and I'm glad Ty is safe, too.) ;-)


You know, if you had him hand you the camera FIRST, then you could have taken pictures of his ass hanging off the roof (that's what my wife woulda done) THEN pulled him up.


And what happened after you rescued him?

I can't imagine what he had to say about your overwhelming concern for your camera!


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