Up On The Rooftop
by Rockstar Mommy
New Years weekend was very low key in our house, which is exactly how I like it: Home with the family, stuffing our faces, watching movies, taking down Christmas decorations. My husband spent New Year's morning on the roof taking down the Christmas lights. I followed him up there with the brand new camera Santa brought me to play around with it and see if I could get some good shots. But, before I got a chance to take any pictures, he pointed out that my shoelace had come untied. I handed the camera over to him and asked him to hold onto it for just a second while I bent down to lace my boot back up.
From this forward, I'm not quite sure how the events that occurred happened; I just know that they did. One second I was tying my shoe, the next I was watching my husband slide off the side off the roof - and I knew this wasn't something that was supposed to be happening because I heard God's name called followed by a long string of four letter words.
I jumped up and as I ran to the edge, I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. What the hell was I going to do? The thing that I loved most in this world, that helped me get out of bed in the morning, that gave me a sense of comfort and calm in such a crazy world -MY CAMERA!- could be gone in one big SPLAT!
Oh, and my husband too.
I peeked over the edge at my husband dangling on the edge, just over a small eve of the house, hanging on for dear life.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
This is when he began speaking to Jesus Christ with a bunch of expletives again. I wasn't paying attention, though, because I had to figure out a way to get him back up onto the roof. I knew I wasn't strong enough to lift him myself, so I had to come up with something. I remembered an old episode of McGyver where he made a pulley with a few blades of grass, some tree bark, and a cigarette. But I didn't have any of those things handy, so I fashioned together the craziest, most unheard of rescue invention ever; I call it The Rope. (I'm gonna patent that.)
The Good News: Husband and camera are doing well, both still in the original packaging in which they came.
The Bad News: I didn't get to take any pictures of said event.
Rock Star Mommy will be selling "The Rope" on the Home Shopping Network