I got a new job. Yay me. Unfortunately it is a 3rd shift type of job. That basically means I'll be working 4 PM til 1 AM. Not that big of a deal, but it will take some getting used to. For the last few years, I have pulled the normal daytime shift at jobs, but because of the new move and new job opportunities, I have to do what I do at a different time. No big deal. But, this time flip did remind me of a few things. The way I used to be. This change won't be that hard because I have done it most of my life. But the big question remains. That question that I used to live with everyday for year long stretches.

What the hell do I do during the day?

It is the same question that plagued me when I was playing every night. What do you do? You have to realize that most people do work normal jobs, so they won't want to sit around all day and get fucked up or watch "The Price Is Right" with you, so what do you do?

Back when I played in a band, it was easy. Wake up and drink a few beers then go back to bed. Just sleep until about three then start drinking again. Find some drugs then get ready for the show. Kind of a formula. It was pretty easy as long as you didn't mind being in a perpetual haze from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall down. Which I really didn't really mind at the time. Play the show and then get to where you had to be for the next show. Crash out then wake up and drink a few beers then do it again. One plus one equals type of shit. Really easy. .

Obviously, in that kind of job, your sobriety isn't really a big issue. I could stumble onto the stage and everything would be OK. Maybe I would get a little shit from the rest of the band but most of the time they were as fucked up as myself. As long as I showed up, I would get paid. Maybe not paid well, but enough to get me through the next day

Now, I am sober. Been that way for a long time. So the "sleep all day in a perpetual alcohol coma" thing is over. I really don't think my new boss would take too kindly for me showing up to an IT position barely coherent. It just doesn't seem like that type of a job. I am pretty sure I won't get laid at the end of the shift, either. There will probably be no after work parties. So I guess it is good I don't drink anymore. Well, it is really good I don't drink or do drugs anymore or I wouldn't be sitting here with you guys but the time question remains.

What to do during the day?

I don't really feel like doing the daytime AA thing. Those usually turn into all day coffee shop things and really, I don't like people enough to sit and play chess with them all day with my hand shaking from too much caffeine. And I can only masturbate so many times before I start to get kinda sore and I can only work on FTTW a few hours before I start to fall apart. One good thing, well the thing that will save me during this transitional period is the that the new place I am moving into has a pool and a pool table and a bunch of musical instruments. That will kill a few hours. Not sure if my new roommate knows about my tattoos but what the hell, he looks cool. Looks like I'll have to tell him about my nudist thing, too....

So what does this all mean?

Well it just hit me last night.

Right now it seems like everything is the same as it was 15 years ago minus the drugs and alcohol. I fuck around all day on a pool table waiting to go to work.

It really is weird because I am supposed to be stable now. No late nights and sleepless days killing time trying to make the big hand go faster. If this is the way all of the IT guys work around here, maybe the way I used to live wasn't so different after all.

Who knows.

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