Where Everybody Knows My Name (Whether I Want Them To Or Not)
by Baby Huey
So Michele asked us where we wanted to live, if we lived in TV land. After thinking, I came up with 3 ideas.
- Sarah Chalke (Dr. Reed from Scrubs)'s pants. Oh my god, if I lived there I'd never leave the house. But it was a copout and kinda lame. Not to mention the fact that there's no way I'd get a full post out of it.
- In the world where Dethklok is king of all metal bands. However, I'm not actually *in* the band, so my life expectancy would be approximately 12 minutes. That's no good.
- The bar from Cheers. That's IT.
Let me tell you why. First things first: I don't mean I want to live in Boston and frequent Cheers. I mean, I want to live in the bar. My liver is evil and must be punished. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to live there because it's where everyone knows my name. Fuck that. If I'm in a bar, if I want to talk to you, I'll start. I really don't want to you to start talking to me out of the blue. Unless you've got some sweet tits. Anyone who shouted "Jooooooosh" as I walked into the bar would be getting a punch in the crotch. Goddammit, I know my own name, and I'm home now! Let me get somethin to eat! Let me get somethin to drink! Let me take a shit! Go in the kitchen and get me my big piece of chicken! (apologies to Chris Rock)
I would want to live at Cheers because there are some pretty cool folk that work/drink there. Let's break down what they'd be in my world:
So, there it is. My burgeoning drinking problem would be full-fledged alcoholism in a few short episodes. I'd have people to sex, people to knife, and people significantly more pathetic than I am. How could it be better?
Baby Huey once bombed a patchouli factory