So when the question floated out at our Editor’s Meeting (held, as they always are, in the stately boardroom at FTTW World Headquarters) “What Fictional Place From Television Would You Like To Live ?” I knew that there was only one choice. Out of all the TV I’ve watched in my ninety some years, there has only been one place where life would never get boring, where there would always be something new to check out and there would always be a new problem to solve.

Moya. Just thinking about it gives me chills. In case you’re not a giant sci-fi geek like me, Moya is the name of the living ship that acts as a home to a group of “criminals” in Farscape. Yes, I said a living ship. She eats, respires, communicates (sort of) and even gives birth to others of her kind. But she looks like your standard metal ship, so there’s none of that unsettling squishy stuff. She’s huge and fast and contains very little weaponry, only what she needs to deter someone looking to blow her outta the sky. And she’s home to one of the most diverse crews I’ve ever borne witness to. Moya was originally a prison ship and home to a number of creatures that had been locked away for violating one galactic law or another. Through a series of strange events, her prisoners became her crew and they became family. Sort of.

Pilot : is just that, the ships pilot. He’s hardwired (literally) into Moya, kind of like a parasite. Parts of his anatomy are grafted, physically into hers and he’s got a direct connection to her nervous system. He feels what she feels, knows instinctively what she needs and helps the crew take care of her. He and Moya don’t fully trust the crew (and once you meet them, you’ll understand why), but they will do everything they can to help them.

Rygel the XVI : is the sovereign ruler of an entire planet. And, due to a coup that was orchestrated by his cousin, he found himself turned over to a militant race called the Peacekeepers and dethroned. The Peacekeepers held and tortured him for over three hundred years before he was finally released from his captivity. He’s arrogant, mean tempered,farts helium and believes all other living things are beneath him. And yet somehow, he manages to get along well with the crew and eventually becomes a strange sort of father/creepy uncle figure to them.

Ka Dargo : is a big motherfucker. A member of a warlike race called the Luxans, he's the type to shoot first, then beat the hell out of whatever’s left. Questions never even enter into it. He represents the most basic of the instincts (eat, fuck and kill) and had been imprisoned for killing his wife. He and the main character John Crichton eventually come to an understanding of sorts and wind up acting more like siblings by the series end.

Zhaan : is the spiritual center of the crew. A member of a race of aliens that are incredibly spiritual and peace loving, she also acts as the medic and doctor when the situations are called for. Oh yeah, she’s also a plant. No, really. She has no bones and is instead composed of fibrous tissues and photosynthesizes. She resembles a blue woman in her early forties and even though she preaches peace, love and understanding, there is a dark side to her that emerges from time to time.

Aeryn Sun : is, or rather was, one of the Peacekeepers, a humanoid race that shares many of the same characteristics as humans. She’s a warrior and an aces pilot. She can hold her own with the men and the women and she was immensely proud of the fact that she was so hard core. But, due to her prolonged contact with the very prisoners she swore to keep caged, she became “contaminated” by the prisoners and was rejected by the rest of her race. And so, she became part of the crew. Her first instinct is usually to fight, but as time goes on, she learns that she is capable of so much more than that.

John Crichton : is one part astronaut, two parts Han Solo, one part Mad Dog Murdock and has a little mad scientist for flavor. He’s the only human for billions of light years in any direction, due to a little malfunction that involved the experimental ship he was piloting and a wormhole. He’s trapped aboard a living ship with a bunch of ex-prisoners and an entire race of people is looking to kill him. And the people he’s living with aren’t too fond of him either. He’s slightly crazy but also crazy smart. He’s a brilliant tactician and a very reluctant leader, but the other members of the crew come to follow and respect him once they all finally realize that he’s more than just some talking ape.

To have the width and breadth of the universe available to me, to be able to explore and fight. Yeah, that sounds pretty good to this old mick. Although, I do have to say that living on the “Serenity” came a damn close second while writing this. But that’s a post for another day.

So once again, we ask you… If you could pick any television show to live in, where would it be ?

-F

thefinn is only one part Han Solo and thirty parts Big Giant Nerd. Archives

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