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Archibald The Dog
by Ian Birnbaum
One of the things I’ve started doing in an effort to get something, anything, down on paper is what’s called “improv writing.” I just start writing and randomly name the characters and situations off the top of my head. Sometimes something good comes out of it, and sometimes utter crap comes out. Sometimes you get a character and a situation that are interesting, and you want to see more of them. Just like investing, where it takes money to make more money, here it takes writing to make good writing.
All of my writing this week, though, hasn’t been as good as one improv I did almost a year or two ago. As such, I thought I’d reach way back in the archives and share this one with you; bear in mind that it was written in about 10 minutes.
Fairly recently, in a nearby small town, then was a young man named Joe. Among the many notable things about Joe, perhaps the most notable was that he had a dog named Archibald. In fact, Archibald was the most notable thing in the entire town (it was a very, very small town). Joe and Archibald made quite the pair, always following each other around; usually, contrary to popular opinion, Joe was the one doing the following.
Archibald walked off to find some shade to sleep in, and Joe very slowly got up off the ground and dusted himself off. Very carefully, he said to himself, "I gots ta git rid of that thar dog--he must be broken."
This story is so good it even comes with a moral. The moral of this story? Adopt a pet from a shelter, because you never know what retarded reason some hillbilly had for putting them there in the first place.