Be A Man!
by Turtle Jones

What is funny? A lot of things are. Personally, I think the funniest thing to see the reaction of people when they walk through a spider web. That is one of the funniest things that has ever been witnessed. That little freak out dance people do as they try to get all the spider ass string off their face as fast as possible is something that is truly made for memories.

But tonight, or today if you live in Uganda, is a day for funny movies and my personal favorite scenes. This was a tough one cause I usually take the movie as a whole before I take a scene. I still think Stir Crazy was one of the greatest comidies ever made and yet I still can't think of a single scene from that one that has made me fall down laughing. Yet I still love the movie. Same thing goes with the original Out of Towners. Love the movie but no one scene pops into my head.

So this one was a bit tougher to do. How do you just nail one scene on the head with the drop dead funny when the rest of the movie is "eh"? So you can see my dilemma. But here is my best try at this.

The jive talkers from "Airplane!".

airplane!.jpgThese guys were funny. They sounded so jivey(?) yet they were so sweet. Just a couple of dudes making their way through the airport with nothing else to do but talk about true love and god in their own way.

First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?

Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.

First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?

Second Jive Dude: UH...

First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.

Second Jive Dude
: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.

First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.

First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude:
Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em

First Jive Dude:
Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

Pray to J? Col' got to be? That is comedy.

The next one is a little tougher cause this one deals with more of a character more than a single scene. So I am kind of cheating on this one. Cause I can. General Garcia at the end of The In Laws.

Alan Arkin and Peter Falk are great together. Sure, Alan Arkin is a pure product from the 70's. inlaws5.jpg

Near the end of the movie when he is finally introduced, this movie takes on a new life. This is the part where Shelly and Vince meet General Garcia in his country and General Garcia is showing the guys all his stuff. General Garcia, in my opinion, is one of the funniest caracters ever written. He is so stupid and yet so insane. A Latin-American dictator whose closest advisor was a cartoon face drawn on his own hand. That's good stuff.

General Garcia: [commenting on his choice for a new national flag, featuring a portrait of himself alongside a topless local prostitute] If it wasn't for the church, this flag would be flying at the U.N right now. But no . . . they stand in the way, THEY STAND IN THE WAY!

and when he is about to shoot the boys at the end:

thejerk.jpgGeneral Garcia: We have no blindfolds senor, we are a poor country!

So even though 70's week is over, I am gonna have to go ahead and add General Garcia as one of the best things that came out of that god forsaken decade.

And Last up is The Jerk.

So many things about this movie made it incredible. Maybe it was Steve Martin's sweetness or stupidity or maybe it is cause I have seen this movie so many times that it makes it hard to just pick one scene that grabs me. But if I have to pick just one, I'll leave it all up to the one that ends like this...

Navin R. Johnson: And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

[dog growls]

Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.

..and with that wish you all a fond goodbye for the day.

Now go see some funny movies. - T


I LOVE The Jerk... Right from the beginning "I was born a small black child in Tupelo, Mississippi..." you know you're in for something good....


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