I Had The Time Of My Life. I Think.
by Michele Christopher
70's week is coming to a close and we can put all the bad songs and bad commercials and bad memories behind us.
Before we do that, the editors of FTTW would like to leave you with some of our favorite things of the 70's. Yes, there were some good things to come out of that decade.
Best Album Cover/Title
Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Most Pretentious Album That I Claimed To Fully Understand But Realized Later On That The Influence of Drugs Had A Lot To Do With That
Genesis - Trick of the Tail
Best Album That Was The Gateway To My Love For Satanic Heavy Metal
Superstars of the 70's. This box set came out in 1973. Which is kind of weird. Three years into the 70's and they’re already putting out a four disc set of the decade’s superstars? The people at Warner were either very hopeful or manipulative marketers. These are the bands you will love for the next seven years! But it had Paranoid by Black Sabbath on it and I wore a groove in that vinyl listening to that song a hundred times a day.
Best Reading Material
Creem Magazine. They fed my Kiss craziness and my Robert Plant fetish for many years.
Best Movie That Ended Up, Years Later, Costing Me Thousands of Dollars in Plastic Crap and My Respect For George Lucas
That was kind of obvious.
Most Awesome Car EVER.
That's a 1970 Chevelle SS. Mine would be in black, but you get the idea. That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is the ultimate in automobiles. It's the car I've been dreaming about since I first got my license back in the dark ages, and the car I will some day own. Mark my words. That's not just any muscle car, kids. That is a piece of art. You know how some guys feel when they see a picture of some big breasted chick with her legs in the air and a "take me" look on her face? You know how some women feel when they see a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes on sale at Neiman Marcus? That's how I feel when I see this car. No, I don't want to fuck it, but I just might rub up against it in a sexual fashion, given the chance. Oh hell, if it had a dick, I'd fuck it.
Greatest Sports Moment That Never Fails To Elicit A "Fuck Off And Die" When Mentioned To A Red Sox Fan:
Bucky Fucking Dent. October 2, 1978.
"Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it! It's a home run! A three-run homer by Bucky Dent! And the Yankees now lead by a score of 3-2!" - Bill White
One of the greatest moments of my entire life.
The One Photo I Have of My Formative Years That Doesn't Make Me Look Like A Wannabe Hippie
It's all about the boots. Because it sure ain't about the denim.
Best Recreational Drug of the 70's
Bless the 70's. I had the time of my life.
Michele still listens to Genesis once in a while, but no longer understands the lyrics