Life's Little Moments - Illustrated!
by Bonnie MeyerRosa

You ever have one of those moments that you know is just going to come back and haunt you? Well, when you have kids there are MANY of those moments. You don’t even know you have planted a seed for these little moments until they happen and you ask yourself where they stemmed from. They usually just sneak up on you, smack you in the head so hard you see stars, and run away again until the next inappropriate time.

Here’s the story. I’ll give you the background first.

At the last home we lived in we had a neighbor who was a little different. Well, not so different as just down on his luck. This man has had a hard family, no stable job, can’t seem to catch a break. He is the type of guy who you know will get your back if there is a crisis. This man lived in his home with no electricity, no running water, not too much food. We would help him out whenever we could. Buying him candles, letting him charge his cell phone in our garage, giving him rides every once in a while. He would never take up our offer to come over for dinner or sleep in our guest room when it was freezing outside. “I am a warrior, gotta protect what’s mine....” That is always his answer.

He also has a pig. A huge, evil looking pig named Wilbur that he takes care of for his boss. The boss gives him money to feed the pig and clean the pen. This man often goes without dinner but that damn pig eats like a king.

We no longer live right next door but my husband helps him out whenever he can. It mostly involves giving him rides to the store, buying the occasional 40 and a phone card, sitting and listening to his stories. One night at dinner, the phone rang. I answered the phone and it was our old neighbor.

He always has a knack for calling just as we are sitting down to dinner. I told him that my husband would call him back when we were done. I went back into the dining room.

“Jay, call your boyfriend...he needs you”.
PJ said, “Dad has a boyfriend?”
“Yup, Mr. Chris needs Dad...again”

Now cut to Tuesday afternoon. I help out at the kindergarten during lunchtime. As I’m passing out bagels and juice one of the little girls asks me, in her sweetest voice but so everyone else can hear:

“Does PJ’s dad have a black boyfriend named Chris who has a pig”?

Holy shit. Everyone, including the teacher, is silently staring and waiting for my reply. I glance over at PJ who is grinning from ear to ear, obviously very proud of himself.

“PJ’s dad has a FRIEND named Chris who has a pig and is African American, yes.”

That was it, no other questions. Everyone went back to eating their bagels, the boys arguing about who is stronger, Batman or Spiderman and the girls chatting about being puppies and Strawberry Shortcake.

On her way out the door, Pj's teacher whispered to me “good save.”

Wait, what?? Does she think my husband really has a boyfriend who has a pig?

I am sweating and stuttering and wondering how to explain the situation, but she is gone. Off to write a little note in PJ’s file I am sure.



Seems to me that you can't totally save that one. I would embrace it, and let everyone know you have an open marraige and that hubby only see's boyfriend and the pig on the weekends. In fact, you should tell teacher that you have something going on with the pig, too:) You know, that menage a swine thang.


Ha!! Me and Wilbur huh....very interesting!!


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