by Joel Caris
Today's Lo-Fi column is brought to you by unforeseen circumstances and extreme fatigue. As such, this is a Lo-Fi that is going to be lacking in the musical content, but will hopefully make up for it with slightly amusing, recycled and repurposed content that you have almost certainly never before enjoyed. It's like eating left overs from a meal you weren't invited to!
Yes, you. Not that other guy. That guy was totally invited.
And yes, I made up the word "randomosity." But you like it, so stop complaining.
First up for this big bucket of random stuff is a little flash animation that I found about a year and a half ago and, to this day, really do enjoy. It's a spoof of Loonatics, which is a new, hip version of Looney Tunes that debuted on TV back in September 2005, to much fanfare and ridicule and horror, depending on your point of view. Also, indifference. That was actually probably the main emotion.
So this flash animation shows just how fucking extreme the new Loonatics are, in quite a filthy and hilarious manner. I recommend you view, enjoy, and possibly pass around to all your friends. If you watch it at work, however, you may want to pull out the headphones. And probably just not watch it at work at all, considering there's also some words that flash on the screen that could prove mighty offensive to some.
For my second bit of sheer randomness, I offer to you a short transcript of a conversation I had with a customer back when I worked in the electronics department of Fred Meyer. This occurred in February 2005.
CUSTOMER: Hey, do you happen to have the second season of Chapelle's Show in the back somewhere?
ME: No, that doesn't actually come out until May. I'm not sure what day exactly, but I know it's May. [I've since learned May 24 is the specific date.]
CUSTOMER (Looking at me strangely): Oh, really?
ME: Yeah. It was originally scheduled for February, but they pushed the date back.
CUSTOMER (In a kind of haughty, "You're a jackass" tone): Well, that's strange, because I've seen it everywhere else. Everybody else has it, Best Buy, Target . . .
ME: Huh. Really? Weird, because I'm pretty sure it doesn't come out until May. [I know it doesn't come out until May, but for some reason I'm not yet actively trying to get myself fired.]
ME: You should probably go buy it there then, because we don't have it.
CUSTOMER (Looks at me strangely, again, and hesitates): Okay.
Here's what I should have added, but didn't:
ME: I'll tell you what. You go buy it at one of those other stores, then bring it back here and show it to me, along with the receipt proving you purchased it. If you do that, I'll give you ten bucks, right there, free for any pleasurable activity you should choose.
ME: Sure thing. Because you know what? It's not at those other stores. You're an idiot. The show doesn't come out until May and there is no other store anywhere that currently has it available for purchase. So you go ahead and do that and I'll throw you ten bucks, no questions asked. But the offer only stands for tonight and if you don't show up—and, I assure you, you won't—then I'm going to go ahead and assume you're a jackass and a moron. Oh, and a liar. Okay? Great. Get the fuck out of my store.
Okay, I lied. I only have two bits of randomosistorytellingness. Next week, however, I'll make a valiant effort to actually write about music. I'm pretty sure I can pull it off.
Ah, what the hell. That lie was a lie. Here's a third. I bought the new Shins album and I love the shit out of it. It's good. It's The Shins. If you like them, you'll probably like the album. If you don't, well, probably not. It is a different sound than their first two, but it's not drastically different. The final song, which is actually a more similar sound to previous works, absolutely kicks my ass. Get it, enjoy it, or don't. Whatever. I've got to get to bed.
Ha! After claiming I didn't even have a third, and then having one, now I hit you with the fourth. Bet you didn't see that coming. I totally blew your fucking mind, didn't I? It's okay, it's what I do.
It's 70s week here at Faster Than The World, so my fourth and final bit of whatever randomosity is this handy dandy link to a 70s music trivia site. Go, enjoy, answer the questions. Come back here and post your own bit of randomness, or 70s music story, or trivia, or bitch about the Loonatics, or tell me wonderful retail horror stories, or just give a three sentence review of whatever album you're listening to. Or not. Seriously, whatever, I need to get to bed.
Joel knows places where you can get pleasured for ten bucks.