Bistro fare ... reinvented
by Baby Huey

I think it's obvious by reading this column ... I love food. If you've ever seen a picture of my fat ass, it's even more obvious. I'm not sure there's any style of food I really don't like. That being said, I definitely like some cuisines more than others. Despite my Italian heritage, Asian food is my favorite -- it's amazing how much Vietnamese and Thai food have in common with Italian food.

Pretty low on my list of favorite foods, though, is French food, and in particular, French Bistro food. It's a little boring to me. It's just there. Meat, potatoes. Kinda meh if you ask me. I'm not above jazzing it up though.

One classic bistro menu item is Steak au poivre; literally, steak with pepper. It's a pepper-crusted strip steak served with super thin french fries. I took that idea into the kitchen last night and came up with something great.

steakCafe.jpgSteak Café

2 tbsp whole coffee beans
1 tbsp whole black peppercorns
1 tbsp salt
1/2 tsp celery seed
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 lb steaks (I used filet mignon, but ribeye or strip steaks would work as well)

Preheat your even to 375 degrees.

In a coffee grinder or blender, grind all the spices till they're pretty fine. You don't want big chunks in this case. Dump it onto a plate.

Heat a 10" skillet over medium-high heat. Add a teaspoon of peanut oil to the skillet. Coat both sides of the steaks with the rub and cook for 2 minutes on the first side. Flip and put in the oven for 8 - 10 minutes, depending on how thick it is, and how well you want it done. As a general formula for mathies, it's 5 + (t + d), where t is the thickness of the steak in inches, and d is the doneness ( 1= rare, 2 = medium rare, 3 = medium, 4 = medium well, 5 = gross).

When it's done, put on a plate, cover with tin foil, and let it rest for 15 minutes before serving. I highly suggest serving it with this mushroom sauce. As a side dish, I made these (and so should you):

Yucca Chips
1 yucca root, peeled
2 quarts canola oil
Old Bay seasoning (or salt if you're lame)

Ok, you'll need a mandolin / v-slicer for this one. No getting around it. You need to slice the yucca as thin as possible. We're talking no more than 1/16th of an inch. you might be able to do it on the slicer edge of a box grater, but v-slicers are indispensible for things like this.

Once you have the yucca sliced, fill a large cast-iron dutch oven (or other large pot) with the oil. You should NEVER fill the pot more than half-way. As oil heats, it expands. Heat the oil to 365 degrees (probably should have a thermometer for this). Fry the yucca chips in batches -- only add as much to cover the top of the oil in one layer. Cook for about 2 minutes until they're golden brown. Drain on paper towels, sprinkling with Old Bay as soon as they come out of the oil.

Don't throw that oil away, either. After it's cooled, funnel it back into the jar it came from through a coffee filter. You can really only use it for frying after that, but you can get 4 or 5 good fries out of one batch of oil.

Serve the steak and chips with a green salad (or not, hell) and a cold beer, and you've got a great continental style meal.

The meal was a symphony with lots of flavors working in harmony. With today's metal review, those will be the only harmonies you get.

Our Puzzling Encounters Considered
Metal Blade Records

RIYL: The Fucking Champs, Melvins, The Locust

When last we saw Psyopus, their album Ideas of Reference was wreaking havoc on our ears. Their concept of complete aural destruction through atonal chaos returns in Our Puzzling Encounters Considered, and they're doing it just as well as ever. The album contains a bit more melody than their last one, and it's a nice sobering counterpoint to the insanity of the other music – music where rhythm and key are paid no nevermind, and it's just all over the place. They definitely have a sense of humor, and while some of the lyrics are very dark, some of it is hilarious – especially the profanity-laced, short piece “Play Some Skynyrd.”

Recommended: Scissor Fuck Paper Doll, Play Some Skynyrd, The Pig Keeper's Daughter, Imogen's Puzzle Pt. 2

Baby Huey's finally got a website for his radio show at Don't forget to tune in tonight at 10pm Eastern.

Dishful of Metal archives


What does Yucca taste like? I don't think I have ever seen it used but am fascinated by it! It's a root vegetable...correct?


Yucca tastes kind of like a potato, only sweeter (not like a sweet potato, though :) )

It's hard to find in your grocery stores unless you've got a large Latin population. It looks like this:


Old Bay. Is there anything it can't do?


Old Bay is, surprisngly, not a good replacement for baby powder when it comes to keeping your junk dry.


Steak and coffee. Two great tastes together at last.

Will try as soon as the ice melts off the bbq.


Holy balls. I just made this and it was fantastic. And I don't even like steak!


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