It is absolutely amazing to see how many ingenious products are out there to help us raise our children. I can't even imagine how our parents and grandparents did it! How did we survive without bouncy things, exersaucers, jump-a-roos, bumbo seats...we sat in a bathtub bucket in the front seat of the car and no one thought different. Well, I am about to start potty training my 2 year old daughter and have just stumbled upon the "most amazing thing to reach the parenting books ever"....please read that last line as "the absolutely stupidest, embarrassing, thank-god-it-was-free" technique ever!

About a week ago I received a little packet in the mail from a popular children's diaper company. We'll leave out names to protect the innocent. This packet contained all sorts of information to enhance to encourage potty training. There was a cd with lyrics in the package. As I began to read the words to the "theme song" I realized that the people who developed this "information to enhance to encourage potty training" must be smoking all sorts of crack! Here is the breakdown of the theme song.

First off the instructions say that the next few pages of the lyric sheet read how the dance moves are like the tasks in the toilet...to help kids "get the moves" in the bathroom and beyond. Brace yourself and do some stretching.

Get ready to go. Stomp real proud now. Knees high and low. Arms in the air! Arms in the air! Time to shimmy down. We're going so low, how low can you go, we're goin down low. Jig it! Jig it! Jiggy, jiggy, jig it!

Now's the time to make you shine. Slide it to the left. Slide it to the right.
Shake it! Shake it! Shake it! Shake it out of sight!



Send it away now. Send it out of town.
Watch it spin round and round.
Round and round we go - now you're going like a pro



I wanna see your hands now. Rub em' all around
Shake em'! Shake em'! Shake em' in the air.
High five now. And you're there!

There are also instructions for the "dance moves" just in case you can't get them from the grammy winning lyrics. I can see how these moves would help your child. It would help them LAUGH THEIR ASS OFF AT THEIR MOM!! Even my 2 year old would point and stare and wonder if mom was drinking from that tall, clear bottle again. Why, why can't we do anything on our own! Why do we NEED do-dads, books, scientists, and psychologists to help us raise our children?? Why you ask - because if we didn't we would still have our children sitting in bathtub seats in the front seat of the car! Yes, I will sing the song and dance the dance. My daughter will laugh but then she will dance too. Will she sit on the bowl and magically never need diapers again? Probably not. It will take more than this song and dance routine to teach my child something so mind blowing as peeing in the toilet. But, it will bring some laughter to the bathroom that is sure! So with that said....

"Get ready to go. Stomp real proud now. Knees high and low. Arms in the air! Arms in the air! Time to shimmy down. We're going so low, how low can you go, we're goin down low. Jig it! Jig it! Jiggy, jiggy, jig it!"

Listen to the song here

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