The FTTW FAQ: Q's Wanted
by FTTW Staff

We get letters!

Well, we get email. And sometimes the emails have pertinent questions. Sometimes the questions are about things we can't answer or refuse to divulge or just plain don't know. Like, I don't know why that one guy wrote asking us for the combination to his gym locker. But we tried to help him anyhow, cause that's how we roll. 38-32-38. Or maybe that's something else.

Anyhow, we have decided, given these important questions, that our "about" page just doesn't cut it. We need more of a FAQ, where we can answer all the burning questions put to us day after day. And the questions that only some weirdo asks.

Some of the questions we have been asked that will appear in the FAQ:

How Did FTTW Start?
His Name Is Turtle? Seriously?
Should I Let My Eight Year Old Read FTTW?
Where Did The Name Faster Than The World Come From?
Can I Write For FTTW?
Where Are You Guys From?
Will You Write About _______?
Really, I Can Submit My Own Article On That?
HOw come you don't write about___________?
Do you really dig Justin Timberlake or were you kidding about that?

You see how this works.

This is where you come in. We're looking to make this maybe the world's longest FAQ, but certainly the world's most fun to read FAQ. Or something like it. So ask us anything. Ask away. Could be related to FTTW or something personal (sure, I'll tell you my bra size) or one of those "if you were a tree what would you be" questions. One of the editors or writers will answer them. Please, no math. Or make it like third grade level.

Leave your burning questions in the comments and we'll answer. We're gonna get started writing the FAQ tonight. It will be a continuing work in progress and you will know more about FTTW and its writers than our mothers do.

I know. That totally fulfills your life.

Get asking.


I second the turtle question.

I also want to know what your favorite pizza topping is. Anyone can answer that.


I can answer the pizza topping question.



And there goes Pirate, sullying our good name.

I'll try my hand at a couple:

Will You Write About _______?

Boobies? Of Course.

How come you don't write about___________?

Boobies? Dude, we're on it.

Can I Write For FTTW?

Do you have boobies?

Um, think that about covers it.


If the band members from Weezer impregnated a convent of nuns, would the offspring grow up to form a boy band?


What happened to DJ's blog?


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