Another week has gone by already? Damn. These trainwreck threads come up pretty quick.

This week we took a suggestion from Johnny. We don't do that too often because usually his suggestions involve clown suits and strap ons and border on illegal. But this time, he came up with one that won't get us arrested. Or injured.

Favorite villain from movies/tv/books

And now, a peek into the minds of the FTTW writers.

Turtle: Mine is Scorpio from Dirty Harry. He takes a licking and just keeps on ticking. Scorpio is an all inclusive killer making sure to kill at least one person from each rach, gender and sexual orientation. This kind of unbiased killing of all races of people forces me compare him to like a messiah of killing machines.

Plus, he pays big black men to beat his ass. He PAYS to get his ass beat down. In my neighborhood, all I need to use is a few choice words for that to happen.

Baby Huey: Brick Top from Snatch.

The man is a brutally ugly motherfucker, and I'm curious as to whether or not that played into it. Plus, he had my favorite villian monologue in the history of film:

"You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, 'as greedy as a pig.'"

Michele: Stansfield from Léon (The Professional). Gary Oldman - the greatest villain actor EVER - plays him to perfection. The scene where he says "Death is... whimsical... today. " makes me shiver every time I see it. He is the ultimate villain. Suave, eloquent and one twisted fucker.

Ernie (who has trouble making up his mind): Anyway, my vote goes to The Joker. And not the Jack Nicholson Joker, but the one from the comics. The one that's really bad. The one from The Killing Joke and a Death in the Family and The Dark Knight Returns. The Joker.

I also like Two-Face from the Batman comics as well. He is super-cool. You never know what you're going to get with him. All depends on the flip of his coin. One side is clean, one side is scarred. Just like Two-Face. That is cool.

Actually, not that I think about it, change mine to Two-Face because he is the best.

(I like Sabertooth too (from X-Men/Wolverine). The comic version.. not the poorly done movie version..)

Jazz Bass: Robbie Rotten from Lazytown is my fave

Kali: hud. he's an underhanded, disloyal, maid raping, greased pig chasing, father-double-crossing drunk. his father is the kindest, high moraled man you''re ever gonna find and his nephew (son of the brother hud killed in a drunk driving accident) is a wide eyed oakie who wants hud to love him so badly!

and still. i find myself rooting for hud. and cringing when he goes to the lawyers office to get his father certified as looney and old so that he can sell his farm to the oil people. like somehow he was gonna grow a conscience.

nope, no conscience. just hud. i ned to find me a movie poster to put in my living room. a real rebel without a cause. (it doesnt hurt that paul newman is hott with two tees)

DR: Hannibal Lecter. Extremely intelligent. Charming. Smooth. Witty, even, at times. And yes, even attractive. I have a thing for Anthony Hopkins, and I don't care if you want to mock me.

The whole cannibalism thing was probably overblown.

Maybe.

Deb: Bruce, shark, JAWS. One angry MF. You have to love an animal that starts taking thing personally by the 4th movie. A close second, for me, is the killer whale from Orca - but he was just misunderstood.

Shawna: I'm sticking with Plankton from Sponge Bob Square Pants. My favorite episode is when Sponge Bob is trying to teach Plankton how to be friends and have fun and Plankton changes the words to the Fun Song.

It starts out with Sponge Bob:F is for friends who do stuff together,
U is for you and me,
N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!!!

Then Plankton chimes in:
F is for fire that burns down the whole town!
U is for uranium..... bombs
N is for no suvivors.....

Spongebob:
Plankton! That's not what fun is all about! Now, do it like this.
F is friends that do stuff to-...

Plankton:
NEVER!!! That's completely idiotic.

Spongebob:
Here, let me help you, F is for friends who do stuff together,
U is for you and me,
Try it!

Plankton:
N is for anywhere and any time at all,
Down here in the deep blue sea.

Plankton: I don't understand this, I fell all tingly inside. Should we stop?

Spongebob: No! That's how you're supposed to feel!

Plankton: Well I like it, lets do it again!

HAHAHA! That's just classic! I love it

Timmer: Sheriff of Nottingham, Alan Rickman, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Made a deal with eeeeevil forces and then loses all control when things start falling apart. Pathetic hi-larity ensues.

Ian: My vote goes to Auric Goldfinger of James Bond fame. First of all, the guy's first name, Auric, actually means "of gold". How convenient is that?

Even though Ernst Blofield has the cool scar and the cat, morbidly obese Auric is the one who literally purrs while taunting everyone's favorite superspy: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"

Plus, the actor who payed him was a real life WW2 Nazi. Motherfuckin' cutting Bond in half with a laser, throwing hat henchman employing, naked chick gold painting, poker cheating, Fort Knox ransacking, getting sucked out of an airplane window Auric goddamn Goldfinger.

Branden: Gotta go with Hans Gruber, played by Alan Rickman in Die Hard. The guy just breathes cool. From his silent entrance at the head of a pack of thieves through his final moments in the air, the guy is a complete and utter badass. Sidenote: if Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman played villains in the same movie, the entire universe would explode in a ball of fire.

Dave: The baddest, meanest villain ever was Laurence Olivier as Dr. Christian Szell in The Marathon Man.

First, he's a fuckin Nazi! How bad is that? Second, his character is based on Josef Mengele for cryin out loud! Holy shite! He makes Tomás de Torquemada look like a pussy.

But most of all, he uses DENTISTRY to torture Dustin Hoffman. Muthafucka!!! AIYEEEEE!!! Every one of us cringed watching that scene. The drill, the clove that made it stop hurting. "IS IT SAFE YET"? Hoffman kept trying to answer him, but of course he didn't know the answer, and Olivier just kept drilling and poking that open tooth with that iron hook thingy.

Yeesh. That sumbitch set back the practice of dentistry 50 years. I didn't get another check up until Reagan was elected.

Most chilling words ever in a movie, the end of the scene where Hoffman has passed out from the pain, and Olivier looks to his bad-guy partner, and says "He really doesn't know".

Dayum.

Dfactor: Best Scary Villain - Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth in 'Blue Velvet' - still gives me the chills when I watch him....

Pirate: I gotta go with the evil clown from the movie IT. The movie sucked major ass, but that scary motherfucking evil clown looked exactly like the one that used to live in my basement, wanted to rip my arms off and feed them to me. I hate fucking evil clowns. I mean I hate evil fucking clowns.

Cullen: Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. The ultimate personification of the thoughtless corporate mentality and everything that can go wrong in the business community.

"Um, yeah."

Pat: My favorite evil villain of all time is Malificent, from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. She was tall, elegant, had the best frigging costume ever, had the creepy raven and the deformed side-kicks, terrorized the little fairy godmothers, whupped the Prince and could turn into a DRAGON!

Kristine, who came up with about 30 (here's the short list)
Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter series)
Simon Lagree (Uncle Tom's Cabin)
Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest)
Annie Wilkes (Misery)
Scrooge (A Christmas Carol)
Long John Silver (Treasure Island)
Thenardier (Les Miserables)

Philbrick: Asami from Audition. Dude, she keeps her mutilated ex boyfriend in a burlap bag and feeds him her own barf. I used to hate dating. Now I fear it..

Tim Shaw: Hedley Lamar (Harvey Korman) in Blazing Saddles. “Kinky.”

A ton of others were mentioned including The Mooninites from ATHF, Lex Luthor, Brain, Nellie Oleson and Ryan Seacrest.

So who is your favorite villain?

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