You Say Tomato, I Say Clamato
by Michele Christopher
We kind of stumbled onto the idea for this weekend's editors' picks.
Well, let's be honest. We were all feeling a bit lazy today. So we took the lazy man's way out. Pre-fabricated questions, designed for quick, witty answers. Or quick, boring answers. Depends on your viewpoint, I guess. Anyhow, one of said, let's do the ten questions from that Actor's Studio show, and another one of us said, hey, we have our own ten questions. So we decided to do both. Because, really, you can never know too much about the editors of FTTW. No such thing as Too Much Information here. The more you know, the more you.......ok, enough filler. On with the questions (Dan and Turtle will post theirs tomorrow).
These are from Bernard Pivot, and were stolen by that douche bag from Actor's Studio.
1. What is your favorite word?
Moot. I hate that word because it always sounds like you mean something else that you aren't saying right. It's like the noise a retarded owl would make. Or an owl that mated with a cow. Wouldn't that be something?
3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
One of those things is not true.
4. What turns you off?
5. What is your favorite curse word?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
And now for our Ten Quick Questions, which in no way are derivative of that other guy's questions. They are better, more fun and weren't stolen by a douche bag.
2. Zombies - undead monstrosity or the next logical step in human evolution ?
3. Young Elvis or Fat Elvis?
4. If you were a superhero, what would your name be?
5. You are the last man on earth, and it is your job to perpetuate the human race, whether you like it or not. Your choice of potential mates is between Wonder Woman, the Bionic Woman, Super Girl or Wilma Flintstone. Which one do you choose?
Well, first I would have to adjust to the fact that I'm a man. I mean, you go ove 40 years walking around with a vagina and all, and suddenly you have a penis, that's gonna take some getting used to. Once I spent some time masturbating and peeing standing up and adjusting my balls, I'd take Wilma Flinstone into a dark alley and bang her like Fred never could because he was too damn fat to do it right. But I'd bang her just for fun. Because I'll be damned if I'm gonna repopulate the world with just one chick. That would mean that our kids would have to do each other in order to get humanity going again. That's gross. Then again, it's what Adam and Eve must of have done. And Noah. Once that ark hit dry land and they had to start over again...well, I don't really want to think about this. Humanity is going to die a sordid, lonely death before I repopulate it with inbreeding. The last thing Mother Earth would hear is Wilma screaming "Yabba Dabba Doo!"
6. What was your first car?
7. If you were going to show me around your city/town, where's the first place you would take me?
8. What's the last album you bought?
9. Do you have an arch enemy? Would you like one?
10 What's the title of the movie they are going to make about your teenage years?
Alrighty. That's 20 questions asked and answered. And now you know more about me than my mother.
Anyone else care to answer?