Celebrity Deathmatch: Facebook Vs. MySpace
by Meg
This week I'm taking a break from sitting in front of my computer playing games and writing about my other hobby, which is sitting in front of my computer on the internet.
I was on Team Facebook before the Poke Me and I Facebooked Your Mom t-shirts started appearing on campuses. I had an account when it was an almost featureless college-only networker. It's not impressive when you know my secret plan. As soon as my friends, you know those people who are bigger nerds than I am, tell me about a new networker, I sign up for the brand-new site, then abandon the profile until the site's bug-free and feature-full.  I made early-adopter profiles on Orkut, LiveJournal, Comsummating, Friendster, and the less well-known sites like Spokeo and Gaah, as well as several dozen hot new things that don't exist anymore. When Spokeo and Gaah get out of beta, you heard it here first.
I'm not entirely proud of it, but at least I can definitively describe MySpace as the worst social networker ever. It's like the AOL of networkers. So easy to use, no wonder everyone using it is a moron.
Or is it so easy to use? A quick look at MySpace pages reminds me that HTML is hard, and frames should only be used in the hands of a trained professional.
That same quick look reminded me that I should be out buying albums of bands I'd never heard of, but who want to be MyFriends! Or buying DVDs! Or downloading new rings for my cellphone! Or wallpapers for my PC! Or any of the other bazillion things in the ads that almost entirely obscure what little content there is.
Facebook also takes conspicuous consumption to heart. Facebookers can spam their friends with the same YouTube clips that MySpaceCadets can. And, you join groups. There's a group for every band, TV show, location, clique and sub-sub-subculture's obscure injoke. I'm partial to "I just tried to ford the river and my fucking oxen died" personally.
Maybe I don't hate YouTube and MySpace as much as I hate that a capital letter in the middle of fairly lame compound word is suddenly hip. Please, let this go the way of the mid-word @.
Oh, and Mark Zuckerberg? Your next feature should be a "Member Since..." stat so I could show everyone that I was on Facebook first.
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Comments
Last time I was off the ship, my daughter asked for some help with her MySpace page. I was a bottle and half into my wine collection, so I agreed to help her. In about an hour I totally fucked it up and then staggered off to bed. She still hasn't managed to fix it weeks later and holds it against me.
Posted by: pirate | April 18, 2007 1:58 AM
My daughter has a couple of groups on Facebook. I don't think she's looking to make friends, more like she's looking to see how many ridiculous group names she can come up with and still get people to join.
Posted by: michele | April 18, 2007 6:56 AM
I just joined 白人看不懂 (White people can't read this) on Facebook.
Posted by: Meg | April 18, 2007 10:04 AM
I just remembered that I actully HAD a facebook on Monday.
Some girl that I was in Girl Guides and Brownies (it's a Canadian thing) with found me and I'm on my middle school's (grades 6-8) alum page talking about our crazy music teacher.
It's very sureal.
Posted by: Deb | April 18, 2007 11:39 AM
"Girl Guides and Brownies (its a Canadian thing)"
Actually, Deb, we have Brownies in the U.S. too. I'm going to assume they all have to do with the Girl Scout type troups? I was a Brownie as a kid, but got kicke dout because I couldn't afford the uniform. Apparently poor kids can't be Brownies in the U.S.
Posted by: jo (from Amie) | April 18, 2007 12:28 PM
Jo you didn't miss much with the uniform... Now they get t-shirts and jeans.
I'm gonna have to see if I can find a picture...
Posted by: Deb | April 18, 2007 1:14 PM
I really liked Facebook when it was still toddling around in diapers. And WTF...who prints those shirts?! It's the first time I've seen one. And yes, now my 52-year-old Mother is on Facebook as well...it weirds me out.
P.S. Is it sad that Oregon Trail is STILL one of my favorite games?
Posted by: Zephyr Rabbit | April 18, 2007 11:43 PM