I was raised Catholic, I'll admit it. I learned how to party. Shit. Catholics party every time some nice guy got bludgeoned to death a thousand years ago. We also party when Jesus was born, when he died, and most importantly, when he became our zombie Savior.

I was severely writers-blocked about what to share with you this week, till I realized that Easter is this Sunday. Instant topic. These aren't family recipes, just things I've developed or adapted over the years.

Main Dish:
Stout - Marinated Beef Tenderloin

3 - 4 lb beef tenderloin roast
12 oz stout beer
2 Tbsp salt
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 bay leaf
1 Tbsp whole black peppercorns

Mix everything except the beef in a bowl and add it to a gallon sized freezer zip bag. Add the beef and seal the bag, getting as much air out as possible. Put that in a bowl and into the fridge for 4 - 8 hours.

Put a cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat for at least 10 minutes before cooking. Wipe the marinade off the beef and pat it dry. Brush it with just a touch of canola or peanut oil, and season liberally with salt and pepper.

Place the roast in the now-nuclear skillet for about 1 minute per side. After four minutes, take the beef out and place on a plate to rest. Make sure you keep the skillet off the heat. Set your oven to 250 degrees. This method is adapted from Alton Brown's method for cooking tenderloin roasts. The point of the rest between cooking steps is to keep more of the interior medium rare, as opposed to a small center of medium rare and a large ring of too-done.

After 15 minutes, your oven will be up to temperature. If your oven can't get to 250 degrees in 15 minutes, get a new oven. Put the roast back in the skillet and cook in the oven for probably 25 - 30 minutes. Time is not as important as temperature at the center of the roast. It's done when the center reaches 140 degrees, which is beautifully medium rare.

Pull the beef back onto the plate and rest for about 10 - 15 minutes (or longer, this cut of beef is absolutely wonderful at room temperature) before serving. The cut is so tender, and the beer flavor is so delicate, that I really don't recommend any sauce. A drizzle of the best extra-virgin olive oil and some cracked pepper never hurt anyone though.

Don't turn that oven off, though -- crank it up to 400 degrees for one of the side dishes ...

Bacon Wrapped Asparagus

6 spears of asparagus per person
2 slices of bacon per person

Wrap 3 spears of asparagus in a slice of bacon and put them on a cookie sheet. Put them in the oven. When the bacon is cooked, so is the asparagus. Nice, eh?

Now, it's time for a nice springtime salad.

Artichoke salad
1 lb artichoke hearts, quartered. Canned or frozen, it doesn't matter. I don't even bother with fresh -- too much damn work for not a lot of return.
1 pint of cherry tomatoes, cut in half
1/2 pound of fresh mozarella cheese, cut into cubes
1/2 c extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
salt & pepper
1 c fresh basil, shredded

Toss all that together. You're done. If you're making this one ahead of time -- and you should, because it will be much better if you let it sit, covered, in the fridge overnight -- add the basil at the very end. It'll get all wilted and narsty otherwise.

And now, dessert!
Mascerated fruit salad
1 c sugar
1/2 c orange liqueur (like Triple Sec, Cointreau, or Grand Marnier)
2 lbs fresh seasonal fruit, cut into chunks
1/2 c fresh mint leaves, shredded
pinch of good (kosher or sea) salt

Mix the sugar and liqueur together, and toss with the fresh fruit and just a sprinkle of salt. I'm not going to tell you what kind of fruit to use. Use whatever's fresh. Stone fruits like peaches and plums, berries, melon, mangoes, and pineapple all work really well. I'd avoid citrus fruits, unless you wanted to throw some mandarin orange segments in there. Fresh citrus segments will just dissolve. Let it sit for about 2 or 3 hours in the fridge. It will be nice and soupy as you get it out.

Just before service, top with the mint and a dollop of freshly whipped cream.

As for the metal this week, it's a doozie.

Lordi
The Arockalypse
The End Records

RIYL: Kiss, Andrew WK, party rock, glam rock

Imagine, if you will, a band that looks like GWAR and sounds like KISS. Have I blown your mind yet? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but that’s Lordi for you. Fresh off their monster (no pun intended) win of the 2006 Eurovision song contest with their anthem “Hard Rock Hallelujah”--and yes, that song is on this album, and even better than the contest version—these Finnish ghouls give us The Arockalypse. This is, without a doubt, awesome party rock. To paraphrase a friend, they’re so godawful and cheesy that they’re actually kind of magnificent. I couldn’t put it better myself. Seriously, great poppy rock with great guitar work.

Recommended: "Hard Rock Hallelujah", "Chainsaw Buffet", "They Only Come Out at Night", "Night of the Loving Dead"

Baby Huey would totally worship Jesus if the church only recognized his zombie status

Dishful of Metal Archives

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