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Madge No Longer Relevant (but telling people makes them doubt it)
by Richard Wallace
Richard regrets that he must partially plagiarize an article from himself written a couple of years ago, but he's blanking and short on time. Next week, Kathy Ireland and Cindy Crawford, for now, please enjoy his ragging on Madonna.)
It is an interesting cultural anomaly, if that makes any sense, that anything you hear often enough becomes disbelieved by the masses. I understand the reasoning, most people are sheep, so if most people believe it then it probably isn't true; whatever it is just has a good publicist. The contradiction is rather obvious; most people are aware of what sheep most people are, and want to believe the opposite of what they think most people believe. ???? yep.
A labored, murky explanation to make the point that Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone stopped being relevant at least 15 freakin' years ago, yet I hear about her views all the time. Even if every time her opinion is repeated the pseudo-journalist doing it has a smirk on its face, or perhaps because of that; somehow the idea that what she thinks means something seems to be spreading rather than simply inspiring gales of spiteful laughter. I'm well aware of her because she was famous when I was in high school, but what would a teenager know her for today? What she did to Don McLean's "American Pie"? I doubt it, they would likely think it had something to do with the 'American Pie' movies and have no idea who Don McLean is. I kid the kids, I realize that today's teenagers have access to old recordings, just as my friends and I were able to be Jimi Hendrix fans even though we were in diapers when he died. I'm just curious how her opinion gets press, but Billy Idol's does not.
Seriously, he's a good match, let's use him for comparison. They both put out two or three well-selling records, a few videos in heavy rotation on the old school MTV, a few photographers assaulted, etc. They had very similar career arcs, it's just that his ended rather abruptly and she sort of faded away, almost. Yet somehow, I don't have any idea how Idol raises his children, or even if he has any, geez I don't even know his position on gay marriage! I never hear from Hammer or the respective members of Bananarama, now that I think about it. Curious.
It's a fact that famous people rarely have to keep the same quality in their product once they have an established fanbase, especially musicians. The Rolling Stones have put out many albums since their last good one, but there are a lot of people that simply buy each one that comes out with no questions asked. I don't begrudge them or Madge continuing to ply their trade, but really; no one is asking Mick about how he raised his children, nor would anyone listen. Is every day a slow news day? The fact that Madge doesn't let her children watch television having been presented to me by no less than 5 different sources suggests that this may be the case. Yes, it is cute that a media whore is shielding her children from what made their opulent lifestyle possible. Yes, I understand the contradiction; it's still not news. Kabbalah? If Kabbalah were a dude he would be telling you he never met her, he wasn't even at the club that night, and she must have been pretty drunk to think they were ever together. A writer of children's books, hmmm, perhaps the name that gets the ghost-writer published is a little more like it. Much like her later music that is really some hard-working technobop musicians without enough clout to get record contracts of their own, joining their creations with her breathy squawk.
I was never a huge Madonna fan, she was ubiquitous, very much the Britney Spears of her day; you would learn the words to her songs by simply being a member of American society. Eventually the day came that "Borderline" was plink-plinking across the neighborhood grocery store's Muzak system. You couldn't watch television without hearing about her and her husband's latest antics, and the mocking of her movies was limitless. Not that I dislike her early work, I will let the radio stay put when the 80s weekend people put on one of her tracks, but that's beside the point. I am removed enough to say that once and for all we should stop hearing her name. It is a well-worn, disingenuous tool of the media to mention someone's opinion just to attach controversy, whether pointing out how relevant the opinion or the person is or not. Obviously, they see some value in dropping a name, even if to mock the opinion. (Yes, if I got paid to do this I would be just as guilty, I'm writing this as a public service, smart aleck.)
The point is, she was never known as an intellectual heavyweight by any means, so it isn't her reputation as a great thinker of thoughts that is getting her so much press. That leaves only her fame to legitimize her claim on relevance. Well, her last good record came out in 1989, and Dick Tracy was 1990. Even though her tepid, sophomoric, (and over-priced) 'Let's antagonize the blue noses' tome "SEX" came out in 1992; that didn't make her opinion worthwhile. She has been irrelevant for at least 15 years, let's stop talking about her at all. Just because she continues to sell a few records shouldn't be reason to still consider her famous. AND, if being famous for being famous meant your opinion mattered we would be hearing a lot more from Ms. Hilton and her ilk. If that were the case, I would then in turn be forced to
Richard thought an 'anomaly' was an invertebrate sea creature until a few minutes ago, thanks dictionary dot com!