God I Can't Believe I'm Doing This
by Branden Hart


The very mention of the genre may send chills up your spine.

But I'm starting to understand why people do it.

And it makes me feel very, very dirty.

So here's what happens. Some geek feels like Gene Roddenberry didn't take it far enough. "Why didn't Spock and Kirk end up together?" asks the geek plaintively. "I know—I'll write a story where Kirk and Spock are stranded on a planet together. They have to huddle for warmth, and then, Spock finally experiences emotion, and he and Kirk make beautiful love—Vulcan style—on the sands of this planet."

Pretty weird, eh?

Not really.

fanfiction.gifBecause, when it comes down to it, fanfic is about one thing—the love for characters created out of the void.

There's all sorts of fanfic out there. You want to see how Harry Potter and his mentor Dumbledore pull a train on Hermione and Professor Snape? You're just a google away from finding out. Want to see what happens when Optimus Prime and Starscream invade the land of Rainbow Brite and turn that little bitch into a sex slave? Well, I'm working on that one. But the point is, people find these characters they love, that they can't let go of, and they start to create stories about them.

This isn't new. Remember Greek mythology, anyone? It's fucking fanfic. It wasn't created by one person—it was created throughout generations of people who told stories about how the gods influenced mankind. Fanfic has been around for ages. It's just up until now that, with the power of the Internet, it has gained notoriety.

Like I said, I finally understand where these people are coming from.

I'm on the verge of finishing the serialized comic Preacher, which I've talked about multiple times on this site. And it kills me that I'm about to end my run of acquaintance with the main character, Jesse Custer. I don't want to see him go. When the story ends, I want there to be more adventures for him. And that's the guts of fanfic.

Am I going to write fanfic about Custer? Hell no. But I'm starting to understand why people do it. It isn't something geeky or weird. It's something honorable. It's a tribute to those who create these characters that we fall in love with. And it's a tribute that every creator should cherish. I can only hope that one day, someone will come across this website and read my archives and think, "Man, I really want to see what happens to Ted Rhobe Rae, but Uber isn't writing about him anymore. Maybe I'll write my own Ted Rhobe Rae story."

Then again, maybe, once Audience of Shadows is done, I'll continue the adventures of Ted Rhobe Rae. Who knows? After all, he's a character I don't want to see shuffled off into the void. And that's the spirit of fanfic. It's about taking the characters you love to a level that connects you with them more intimately.

Ok, I feel dirty now. I'm going to take a shower. In the meantime, tell me about some characters you want to know more about. And then you can take a shower too.

Uberchief loves him some Harry Potter / Home Alone crossover slash

Uber's Corner Archives


Gah, some of that stuff is just too creepy to handle. Some things are sacred, and I don't want my memories of Inspector Gadget to be ruined by some sort of Dr. Claw goatse fantasy.


Just keep things between Jesse and Cassidy platonic, ok? That's all I ask.


Let me make this clear--I am NOT going to write any fanfiction. I just sympathize with the authors more than I once did.


I've mentioned it before, but I'm a huge fan of Buffy. And based on that, I can almost understand fanfic (and man, there's a lot of it related to Buffy.)

But still, I would never do it. And can't get behind it. And even if I understand the urge, I don't understand the execution. For me, those characters are separate. Sure, I'd love there to be more, but there isn't. It's over. Joss fucking Whedon made those characters and oversaw their development, and now he's done (okay, there's a season eight comic thing going on, but the TV show's done.) So you want to write new adventures for them? Bah. It's bullshit. It's not true. The creator is the guide, not the fans. That's just how it is.

I don't know. It's not the real thing. To me, it would just be frustrating, not satisfying.

Maybe it's because I write my own fiction, and that feels real to me--something I create and control, that's my own. And you want to come in and write your own vision? Nope, that's not how it works. Make your own characters. These are mine and they dance to my tune, and mine alone.


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