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The Nymphos of Rocky Flats
What do you do when your tour in Iraq has ended with you murdering a small family trying to escape the violence and you've been turned into a vampire as your penance? Become a private detective of course!
"I'll bet you have a weapons-grade hard-on for me."
The Nymphos of Rocky Flats by Mario Acevedo follows Felix Gomez as an Army veteran turned vampire turned private detective who has been hired by a former friend to investigate an outbreak of nymphomania at the Rocky Flats Plant in Colorado outside of Denver. During the environmental cleanup, a group of female employees encounter an unknown room and are exposed to a mysterious toxin that sends them off on a sexual rampage as they bang men like a screen door in a hurricane.
Now, I picked this book up simply on the name. Or, more aptly, the name of the sequel… Once I noticed that this was a series involving the protagonist I grabbed the first book in the series. Vampires, nymphos, the cold war and it's in the Sci-Fi section of the book store? Oh my! Color me there.
The characters are humorous, if a bit cliché, and a bit predictable. Sometimes, you're just out for some pure mind candy and that's what this book is. The vampires are vampires, the wannabe vampires are wannabe vampires, the nymphos are nymphos, and the federal bureaucrats are well…you can guess.
The book reads like a 20's era detective novel set in a modern time with a supernatural twist. There is a dame, only she isn't the one directly involved in the origination of the storyline, the gangsters appear in the form of Federal employees, and did I mention the vampires?
At times the book gets a bit slow, but the writer does a decent job of working past these pieces. Descriptions can be a bit simplistic, and at times outright intellectually insulting. I don't need a detailed explanation of how the writer imagines a wolf's thought process operates nor do I need to read it.
The protagonist repeatedly finds himself at odds with his vampiric nature, as well as wondering why his newfound powers are slowly failing him. Not to mention the vampire hunters hot on his trail, nor the dryad (tree fairy sort) repeatedly trying to bed him.
Felix navigates his way through the intricacies of the vampire hierarchy, Big Wong the sexual dynamo scientist, and a group on individuals hell bent on removing his head from his corpse and claiming his teeth as a trophy. Along the way he comes to grips with his past, embraces his future, and enjoys the pleasures of the present.
In a way the book is a metaphor on how to live your life in the now and how to accept what your future holds for you, even if it isn't for the long haul.
If you want something to read that is light on the scat, drugs, and presidential penile tattoos, this book is for you. If you're looking for something so far out of the way as to require a detour to see the world's largest cast iron skillet, well keep on looking.
It's not Shakespeare, no, so this is the perfect beach read for the summer. If you like vampires. And nymphos. Which, of course, I like both.
Kristine is searching craigslist for a nymphomaniac vampire who likes Shakespeare.