When Is A Duck Not A Duck?
by Deb Beckers

...When it’s flattened road kill.

Oh yeah – it’s on babies! Final two and nobody’s singing but the Fat Lady for Anaheim!

What? You thought I’d be unbiased? Silly jackass!

I’ll be (probably) LIVE BLOGGING the games, so step over to our sister blog FASTER THAN THE BLOG (www.fasterthantheworld.com/blog) on Monday and Wednesday nights next week to see what REALLY happens when you mix Canadian Beer (Alexander Keith’s), a Laptop with no wireless connection, a 50 inch TV and no censor button. It’s a stream of consciousness that not even Leary imagined.

Also I will be talking about the game.

The Match – Up

DeadDuckie.jpg Remember the game from your childhood where the Hungry Hungry Hippos fought each other for supremacy? Where the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots bashed each others head in? Where if you spun your top just right you could knock your opponents whirling cyclone right off the fekking boards?

This series is going to be like you combined all three of those games together and then beat your little sister over the head with them.

Two teams both cup virgins, both wanting to be the first to cross the Rubicon, both pinching their collective pimples anxiously waiting for the battle to begin, for their first chance at glory (cue Bon Jovi).

*gag* NHL.com is calling Pronger a “stud” defenseman. He’s good, I’ll give him that, but it’s going to take more than that for him to redeem himself for the Edmonton THING. Hell, I JUST started to forgive Gretzky – and he’s no Wayne; of course they’re including Niedermayer in that, so that makes it more okay.

The Duck are, as much as it PAINS me to admit it, a pretty good team. Their defence is solid and their goalie (Giguere) has had an amazing run. It’s offensively that you have to worry about them (if you’re a Ducks fan). The numbers look good, but they have struggled to have any convincing wins over the other teams in the series. They need to get consistent scoring plays from their top line in order to defeat the defense heavy Ottawa Senators.

Ottawa’s top line of Alfredsson, Spezza and Heatley have been a tough line to contain this year and hold the bulk of Ottawa’s goal scoring. The Sens are going to need to get production out of all lines if they want to score. They’re also solid defensively which makes me worry a bit that these games are going to be slow moving and scoring games.

Time will tell, but man-o-man am I looking forward to seeing these two physical teams go at it. Maybe there’ll be blood, there usually is...

Canada vs. the US? Really? Are you serious?

4.jpg You know that there is going to be some ASSHOLE, Canadian or American (I’m betting on both) that is going to try and start a war again (because it turned out so well for the US the last few times).

Here are some stats, because like evidence, stats don’t lie.

DUCKS: 25 active players, 4 Americans (16%), 18 Canadians (72%) and 3 Europeans (12%).

SENATORS: 23 active players, 1 American (4.4%), 13 Canadians (56.5%) and 9 Europeans (39.1%).

Which team’s American? Which team’s Canadian? Doesn’t matter because my Sens are going to be having some duck fricassee.

Just sayin’.

In Other Hockey News...

I can’t believe Hockey is still on. It’s almost fekking June!


RIM (Research In Motion – aka Crackberry birth place – aka Canada’s revenge on the world) CEO Jim Balsillie may finally be getting the hockey club of his dreams.


He’s reached a deal to buy the Nashville Predators, pending NHL (read Bettman) approval. Sound familiar?

Yep, he’s the one who tried to buy the Pens and was stymied by the league in the 11th hour.

Will he get to move the team? Will Canada get back a team? Will they be called the Hamilton Predators?

Will Mr. Sillie wake up from his dream of Bettman EVER letting him move the team north?

Stay tuned.

Deb IS ready to rumble, it’s not just the Taco Bell talking!

I'll See You On The Ice Archives


Hungry Hippos? Rock Em Sock Em?
Bring this series on!

Now let's break out the Risk board and conquer Canada!


i want sens blood!




When it's a worm?


That's all.


I know next to nothing about hockey (aside from the penchant for fighting) but this article is awesome.


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