Have I got your attention ? Good. There is no free pron. For those of you that feel like sticking around, there is, however, the following post.

I’ve recently switched my schedule at the shop and kept the same bedtime. This has had a very odd effect on my waking habits, because now that I get five hours of sleep a night consistently, my sleep habits are as follows:

Go to bedroom.
Ask my wife to roll over so I can get into bed.
Kiss her gently and tell her to have sweet dreams.
Promptly pass the fuck out and sleep a dreamless sleep until that the damned alarm starts chiming.

That’s it. Makes things real simple, don’t it ? Ah, you’d think so. Instead, getting no sleep on a daily basis has completely transformed my waking hours. I often find myself daydreaming about a hundred things, all at once. These daydreams only consume a few seconds, but in those few seconds I find myself pondering the impossible, the querulous, and the things that can make the sanest of all men go absolutely mad. Here's a few things that kept me occupied for a handful of minutes....

I. Is it so wrong that I want to create an entire website dedicated to photoshopped babies as Spider Jerusalem, with word balloons spouting such filth as “Here was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contagious, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old.” and “This is the chairleg of truth, Fred! Can you hear it? It says 'Shut up', Fred! Can you hear it?”

II. If you do a Google search for “duck farts” can you actually find a link with an audio clip ? And do I really wanna know what a duck fart sounds like ?

III. Will someone, anyone, make a game as good to me as the “Dungeon Keeper” series was ? Really, anyone ? Because we’ve had a couple of near misses over the last few years, but no one has really understood how much fun it is to set up the good guy and wipe the fucking floor with him….

IV. If I’m in Rome, and doing as the Romans are doing, why is it I always get arrested and have to explain that; No, I don’t speak Italian nor do I know where my passport is.

V. Is there an actual solution to the issues I keep having cross posting in FTTW articles in Vox, or am I simply attempting to smash a square peg into a round hole and not seeing an inherently broken system for what it is ?

VI. Who is John Saxon ?

VII. I will raise my child to be an honorable man. I can do no greater good in this short lifetime.

VIII. My god, this is terrifying. How do I get one and use it effectively to torture my enemies ?

IX. If it’s okay to laugh at a camel, why is it not okay to laugh at a midget ?

X. I really, really like the Pipettes.

XI. When I was a kid, I had Scarlet Fever. I had a 106 degree temperature for two days and all I can remember from that time is that the ants on the wallpaper were making the most curious designs.

XII. If I actually stopped to count all the times I swore I’d quit smoking, I’d have something to do until December.

XIII. I don’t have the right shape of face for a bowler hat ? Do I ?

XIV. I still have all my fingers and toes. Yay Me!

And that’s a small portion of my day. A few of the things that flit through my head when I’m not trying to determine why a particular piece of software didn’t land when it was supposed to or why I keep blowing out the DS3 to New York every damn night when there's only seventy sites.

How about you ? Anything good in that brain of yours ?

thefinn just needs a nap.

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