Times Like These
by courtney

Three weeks in, and I’m already stuck for a column idea. Yeah, I’m a rock star.

In all honesty, right now, I’m under a lot of pressure. This will pass, as life has a way of sorting itself out most of the time, but the weight is heavy these days.

I’m reminded of the summer of 2003. That year, there was a similar amount of work craziness going on, as my Director and I were trying to fire a toxic and deeply rooted school psychologist. He and I had a screaming match one day that was so loud and vicious, the principal heard us over the passing noise in the hallway and had to break us up like two hockey hooligans. My Director and I were having nightly phone calls about strategy, and she would coach me through the words I needed to say, and the lines I needed to hold, and this fight wore me down, but we won. His damaging presence is gone. One week before school ended, I received word that one of my oldest friends had committed suicide. This floored me. Andrew was the light of my world through so much of my high school years; a beautiful, unusual spirit who strew unfiltered joy all over my days. And he was suddenly gone. Top this all off with being broke, barely making the rent, and getting unceremoniously dumped on the 4th of July, it was shaping up to be a banner fucking summer. Better folks than me would have completely lost their minds.

wilco.jpgAmazingly though, I didn’t take a trip to the zoo. What I did do, and what I need to do more right now, was sat on my couch, with a beer at my side, and a book in my hand, and listened to cds. We all have those songs that always make us feel better, those artists we turn to at the pivotal moments of our lives, and in my lowest moment, music kept me sane. It may have seemed like my world was caving in around me, but in those moments in the buggy twilight, the soundtrack I made for myself showed me the other side.

If these had been vinyl records, I would have worn through the grooves. Every night, all night, for months, I spun Ani DiFranco’s “Evolve”, Wilco’s “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” and the Foo Fighters’ “One by One”, and they made me well. Truly, it could have been any artists; I was open to letting something else take over, quite frankly; those were just the last three cd’s I bought before the money got tight. ani.jpgAnd maybe that was more of a coincidence than I ever realized, because each of those records are about change, and about searching. And each of those records held up a piece of my heart for me until I could hold it up on my own again.

The dark days of summer are upon me again. Time to put the records on.

Courtney is a new day rising

Mix Tape Archives


Great piece Courtney, I suggest you try running out of more ideas. Good luck with whatever you got going on.


It's ALL about runnin' outta ideas. :->


When I'm out of ideas I tell Michele I had knee surgery.

She's very sympathetic. Except she still makes my submit my article.

And she totally stole that Spiderman picture idea from me.

Ok maybe not.


eXTReMe Tracker